LR 18yo fresher student

[Shadow]

Hey ladies and gents,

After 2 months of a dry-post-LTR-break-up dry spell I finally got out of the blue (balls). This is by far my fastest escalation to sex so far and I'm quite proud with the 'low-keyness' of it and how it played out.

Background: Went over to see a friend who is having some serious issues with his gf (she's leaving him, he doesn't accept it kind). When I got there, he picked me up in his car and interestingly enough
his gf's younger sister was there with him. I've met her a few times before randomly and I had a hinch that she did like me, but due to my LTR status before I didn't really look into that.
We went to his hosue for pre-drinks where I chatted with her a bit to see what's up e.g.:

Me: How's uni life treating you?
She: I hate it, its very different.
Me: So you are missing your 'famous superstar' status from back home basicallly?
She: haha yea maybe..
----
Then later I teased her a bit more on that:

She: (trying to switch shoes) these are too small! I'm a 40!(EU)
Me: Lol you big foot, that is big. (Did this very intentionally, I knew she has a super bloated ego about herself which is quite artificial.. and given that all the boys at the campus are chasing her - I thought no one else would dare to say something like this).

----
Then moved into a bit more sexual...

Me: So seriously, you are 18 years old at uni - surely you have some interesting stories?
Her: hmmm.. well yeah I did do something stupid..
Me: ah now we are talking, what did you do? tell me
Her: (after hesitating for a while) I made out with a few boys... And even invited one of them to my apartment but then kicked him out before we did anything serious. ('apparently' she hasn't had sex for 3months - still not buying it).
Me: Huh just that?!
Her: yes?! what were you expecting?
Me: Well at least like a campus orgy story... or a threesome ?
Her: Hmmm... We can have a threesome tonight? (WTF MIND BLOWN at this point - never expected this).
Me: Sure, as long as it is with another girl?
Her: Deal
Me: I'll even let you choose her at the club
---

At the club we played a long with this 3some roleplay, I teased her to choose someone and then acted quite pretensious about people and teased her on her low standard. Eventually, my friend picked up what was going on and told me that "You have my stamp of approval " (not expected either). Me and the hottie went out for a few smokes and chatted a bit, until she said "well we might need to do a twosome" to which I "reluctantly conceded". I then started a new frame that actually I'm not sure if I want to sleep with her - she's too young, inexperienced.. might even start chasing me and harass me... To which she started qualifying herself quite hard - "i'm experienced, I'm not like everyone else, I'm just out of a LTR and I don't want anything serious" blabla... This was I think the high point of my act Quite pleased. So I eventually 'conceded' to that as well and told her we should go back to her place. She agreed and we went.

At her place, one of the first things she did was pull some drugs out and act very mature of how she knows alll the shit. This kind of annoyed me (I don't do drugs) so I just said out loud that she can make decision between getting high or spending the night with me as I don't sleep with drunk or high girls. She didn't take me seriously so I had to pretend I'm leaving a few times and dress up, but eventually she conceded and we had a very good (not fantastic) 1 hour pounding sessions with her coming a few times. Eventually she actually got too tired and her legs were shaking too much to continue.. So after refusing to give me a blowjob 'voluntarily' I got up, stood next to her pulled her to my cock and made her suck it. She did alright (not a lot of XP for sure) and as she didn't really manage to get me to come I stopped her, and finished the job myself .. with a money shot. (THANKS HECTOR!)

We had a second round of sex in the morning (she made me go in raw - still a bit worried about that, but no bad signs yet). It was good fun, we had a quick coffee together and then my friend came to pick us up and we went for food. Had a relatively awkward goodbye (due to other people present and this 'being a secret' for her).

Overall, quite happy with this. Only drawback now is that I'm facing a lot of resistance pulling her a 2nd time. Its actually harder! I have a feeling it might be because of the lack of an emotional connection due to the fast escalation? Any advise would be great - I'd love to make this one in a FWB or even a short term relationship and mold her as I like.

Hope you enjoyed my first ever lay report on these forums - and if you have any criticism please do say I'd be love to hear more.

 

[Shadow]

Did a follow up on this based on some of Chase's articles on "what to do post sex". I sent her a follow-up text that day (throughout both conversations she always replies quite slow initially then warms up.. my time +1mintue quite obvious.. shifted it eventually, but eh).. I've bolded the most important parts as its a bit long

Me: Hey <hottie> - thanks for the hospitality... Quite pleased you managed to 'seduce' me, it was super
Hottie: Haha, glad you liked it
Me: We'll do it again sometime.. Do you feel better now? (we didn't sleep at all basically)
Hottie: blabla yes, how about you?
Me: I'm in bed all day, you broke me
Hottie: Haha as if its my fault. You broke yourself!
Me: Well old age.. ( we had this frame how I'm old before.. I'm 25)
Hottie: Haha seems like the old isn't bad at all

Then kind of cut it off and said I'm going to bed - good night, sweet dreams....

Next day I thought I'd reinforce and try build a bit more connection so I reopened her online:

Me: Never thought I'd be ashamed to go swimming.. But with the damage you left on my back you've succeeded lol
Me: Whats up with you?
Her: blabla not studying, talking on the phone.. how are you?
Me: I'm expecting a compensation for my body damages
Her: It depends on what kind of compensation will be required
Me: I have a wild imagination, but I'm sure you'll think of something better
Her: I think I'll leave it to your imagination.
Me: Pff and I thought women had the craziest fantasies
Her: Haha who said we don't?
Me: Well then you just must be ashasmed...
Her: Let's say its like that haha

Then some jokes about how I shouldn't be ashamed of my sexual damage (it's kind of cool to be fair, but very childish and it actually fucked up my social plans for the week.)

Her: you should try coconut milk.
Me: ... A great feeling of disappointment took me over after this answer.
Her: hahaha... You can't always be impressed.
Me: Who said I'm always impressed?
Her: Did you feel any disappointment last night?
Me: Hmm
Her: That's what I thought haha
Me: I can think of 1 thing definitely - you let me walk the streets horny in the morning (there was no finish due to no condom) - thank god someone didn't attack me.
Her: Hahahaha it's your own fault hahaha
Me: Not quite sure how that is and what you expected to happen
Her: I don't know, I hadn't had sex until now (some weird frame that she is all new to this? Didn't really get it - especially given that she gave me a distinct list of her sexual count where and when before lol)
Me: Too bad, I did have such worries...
Her: Ahh, top statement of the year haha
Me: It's okay, we'll teach you.
Her: We seem quite confident
Me: Didn't know thats a bad quality
Me: really nice duckface selfie by the way I like it
Her: It's not bad quality at all.
Her: It's a picture from my slim period .. when I was hot.
Me: Ah, and I thought you were hot the other day.. I must have been drunk
Her: Haha yeah you were quite drunk
Me: Why do you think so? I'm actually curious now (I wasn't drunk really)
Her: You allowed me to trick you into leaving with me .. I think that is enough
Me: Hmm.. Risking to inflate your ego even more.. After all, you are a cute sexy and interesting girl - I'm not sure why this suprises you so much..
Me: You are a bit crazy - and yes alcohol helped for that a bit
Her: It surprised me as it hasn't happened to me before. You were my 'first'. Congrats (this really startled me, sounded quite aggressive and I still don't get it?)
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Haha nothing nothing ...
Me: Are we continuing with the virgin bluff from earlier or is this something new?
Her: Noting new
Me: This whole virgin talk is not very sexy.. You kind of lost me with it
Her: hahaha happens to even the best
Me: I'm going to bed so good night beautfiul . I'm expecting at least a photo of you as a temporarily compensation unti you figure out how to repay me
Her: Depends on what kind of picture you prefer.
Me: Something new... with minimal amount of clothes will do..
Me: If you are too lazy it might be even without clothes..
Me: Actually, don't make an effort to dress yourself, I know you are walking naked in your room.
Her: Haha I've never given such a picture even to my boyfriends. No way.
Me: Well of course you haven't. I wouldn't either to people who I didn't trust or were jackasses. (her x boyfriend was a complete jackass)
Me: Don't be boring, live a litle
Her: So you must understand why I wouldn't send you such a picture. Boring or not, its not happening.
Me: Ah that hurt.
<no reply>

I didn't reply either and went to bed - I actually did feel slightly offended that she thinks I'm a jackass totally get the not trust you bit . Retrospectively, I fucked myself over with this bad ending though. No contact since (3 days) - any ideas if its worth going back again? Or wait it out and see if anything happens? Also any notes on those weird frames/statements she made would be appreciated.

 

[Explosive Results]

Her: It surprised me as it hasn't happened to me before. You were my 'first'. Congrats (this really startled me, sounded quite aggressive and I still don't get it?)
Me: What do you mean?

Perhaps she means you were the first guy she took home which does not imply you were her first sexual experience, given her statement "You allowed me to trick you into leaving with me".

Although it's somewhat unclear when she said "I don't know, I hadn't had sex until now".

But she's 18 and may be immaturely messing with you since you seem to be playing into it.

 

[Shadow]

Hey Explosive Results - thanks for the reply. I think you are right it must be the immatureness at the core of it. Unfortunately she never got in contact again (1w) so its unlikely things will progress. will drop her a line later in the week as a last try

 

[Big Daddy]

Bro, I think you insisted too much in continuing this over text. I was guilty of it myself for the longest... it's just too awkward. I've found this opens useless doors for you to be overly witty and sexual with a girl you had already slept, which is what happened.

Plus you initiated contact the two times so that is not in favor of your frame (being experienced, etc). For instance, she "seduced" you and now you're proposing "doing it again" and being reactive to her remarks (you being drunk, etc) -- there's a subtle change on who's chasing and who's leading here.

I'm trying to refrain from post-sex texts for now. I just stick with the CG's golden "had a fun night yesterday ", radio silence for couple of days, propose another date if desired.

EDIT: one great thing to mention it that post-coital tone should be set in the spot, even if you don't say anything she'll make her mind of whether you'd be the kind of guy who'd want to see her again or not. Either way, look this article up. Not sure we're talking about the same one.

 

[Shadow]

Hey Big Daddy,

I think you are absolutely right. I tried to force some kind of connection over texts and broke my frame (as I felt I failed to do it in person)

Good news is that after some more failing down the road, I eventually hooked up with her again and stayed over at her house when I went up to her town again... She asked me if I have a 'fuck buddy' and told me we'll sleep together at a party next week...

I think I have a general mental conflict with myself still regarding the 'just sex' situation and I'm trying to create some connection without getting a relationship or something huh. She seems to be more of a man than I am so far in this respect....

 

[WayOfHand]

Hey Shadow, you ought to check out blackdragon if you haven't yet. He has nice categories for different open relationships and explanations. Might help you to set it up.

 

[jdoc]

Hey Shadow,

Nice work breaking that dry spell! I'll throw in my $0.02.

1. Hilarious how she mentioned the threesome haha. It was good that you played along with it, and kept this as a recurring theme throughout.

2. You did a good job on getting her to convince you for agreeing to the twosome. You got her to qualify herself and chase you down.

3. I think the reason why she is reluctant to see you the second time was because of your long winded texting. Texting is used as a means to set up dates. You're not meant to bond, and establish an emotional connection via text. Asking for compliance (especially something as big as nudes) is not going to do you any favours. I think it seems that this girl was not really not into talking about sex over text messages with you, so repeatedly diverting the conversation to the topic of sex was not doing you any good. I think it's best to keep it simple. It's okay to chat about some random stuff here and there, but you shouldn't lose sight of why you're texting - which is to get her out again.

Jeffrey

 

[Shadow]

Thanks @WayOfHand ,@jdoc - much appreciated

A chunky update on this one - as mentioned before, we hooked up twice which ended with her saying "next time you'll be taking me home" which I found quite interesting.

Fast forward 2 weeks - the opportunity arouse and she texted me while I was clubbing if she could join (3am). She turned up and we had some flirting and banter, but nothing in particular happened as we were both quite drunk. Good warm up though. Next day we chatted a bit over SMS and got to the following conversation:

Me: So what are you doing tonight?
Her: No plans. What do you suggest?
Me: Grab a coffee and I think I owe you a 'taking home' from 2 weeks ago.
Her: Ah is that right
Me: Just quoting you
Her: I think I'll pass tonight. We'll arrange for another time.
Me: Bad girl
Her: A little
Me: Make sure you bring those handcuffs next time (another inside joke)
Her: Hahhaahaah - with or without fluff?
Me: Whatever you prefer - you'll like it either way.
Her: You're probably right

3 Days later....
Her: X club tonight?
Me: Hmm not a bad idea, what are you proposing?
Her: Nothing. I'll just be there.
Me: For a second I thought you are inviting me out to clubbing.. I'm at club Y tonight not sure where I'm going afterward
<2.5 hour silence>
Her: If you want you can join me.
<3 hour silence>
Her: No answer eh?
Me: I'm sitting at the bar. (I did actually go to club Y, but I did make sure I had a reservation at club X for the bar with some friends in case such an opening happened)

She came over, introduced her to my friends, we danced a bit, made out slightly (possibly a mistake, but to be fair these mixed signals and hard-to-get post sex attitude is confusing me) and asked me "how horny are you right now". She then went "I'm going back to my table, will come back in a bit". 1:30h later she hadn't reappeared so I told my friends I'll have a walk around (was about time I invested a bit as well I guess) - found her danced a bit etc and came back to my table... And this is where things went crashing down - my friends were about to leave. So I had 2 options - either join her & her friends at her table or try to get her to my table alone just the two of us.

I went for the latter - but she started playing hard again "you come"... "ok ok I'll come later" ... And I wasn't really in the mood of staying at the bar by myself and was too drunk to manage my LoLE properly. So I folded and joined her at her table. More flirting, more dancing and I got the 2nd nail in the coffin - "I'm not sleeping with you tonight". Boom... On the 'plus side' I got a "you'll get your Christmas present very soon..." (to which I replied 'think it would be more of a gift to you than me").

Following from that I started losing her attention. Essentially my frame started falling apart so I pulled my last card out of my sleeve - I saw another girlfriend of mine nearby that I had a thing with and went to her table and started dancing/flirting. This worked for a while, with the 1st girl looking at me for a few minutes quite obviously until she decided to retaliate and start doing the same.. (well played). A few minutes later I reengaged with the 1st one and she asked "Hows it going with that chick" and I replied "don't worry about me too much ". This spiked her interest again for a while, I tried closing and proposing a nightcap/afterparty and god knows what else, but I kept getting "not today" "soon" "text me tomorrow" blabla.

I eventually got drunk enough that I got annoyed from all this which also made me a bit needy. So I decided to cut my losses before I blew everything up and left. Next day we had a short convo:

Me: I believe you are officially promoted to double crazy
Her: Hahaha yeah there is no one else like me
Me: History has seen worse. I just can't make out which one of us two is more stubborn.
Her: It's me. Definitely.
Me: Possible - actually I'd rather not find out. Its a contest at the end of which everyone loses.

And I've imposed a 3 days radio silence since. Guess this is now possibly moving more into the relationship subforum, but thought I'd keep it all here for now as nothing is serious . Would love to hear some comments specifically on whats up with this post-double-sex resistance ? She is obviously interested and likes me. I wonder if its because of her inexperience and because she ended up quite hurt from her previous sexual partners emotionally?

 

[jdoc]

Hey Shadow,

Here are my thoughts.

1. It's okay to chat with a girl via text a little bit, but long winded texting that go nowhere is definitely not good. The purpose of texting is to get her out on a date. This process does not need to be complicated. There's no need to be overly sexual or banterous. In my opinion, I think the whole "I think I owe you a 'taking home' from 2 weeks ago" is too much. To get her out it's very simple. Just continue with whatever you were talking about, and throw in something along the lines of, 'Hey, let's get together for coffee soon. How's later this week for you?" When she agrees, then you ask her what her schedule looks like. When you ask what she's doing tonight, you run the risk her saying she's busy that night, in which case picking another day becomes too chasey. Avoid this altogether by asking for her schedule.

2. Party dates at a club are a terrible idea. You should read up on the article describing why this is the case. You should've declined and offered a raincheck. Something like, "Hey X, I'm pretty beat so I'm staying in tonight. How about coffee next week?" will work.

3. The resistance post-sex is probably due to the way you're over complicating things. The texting should've been more to the point, and less sexual and banterous. The resistance that you encountered at the club was most likely due to the terrible choice of venue.

My suggestion is to wait for her to ping you again, and ask her out on a coffee date, making sure your logistics handled. Or you can hit her up again in a week or so.

Hope this helps

Jeffrey

 

[Big Daddy]

I echo all of jdoc's points above. While reading your post I was thinking all the time "stop texting her!"

She's just making you chase and you're biting. You hit her up, she baits, you suggest and outing and she's like "ah, naw, I think I'll pass."

Even when you guys met. For instance, never ever take this at face value:

and I got the 2nd nail in the coffin - "I'm not sleeping with you tonight".

You should just completely disregard it. "Wait, what? Were you just thinking about sleeping with me?" or "OK. (and smirk + intense eye contact)" and don't give an answer basically. You did it perfectly later on, actually:

she asked "Hows it going with that chick" and I replied "don't worry about me too much "

This is the kind of answer (or rather, non-answer) that you should give to all of her shit-tests. But take a look of how you bought into her game...

She proceeded to make you "want it and not have it" even more:

I got a "you'll get your Christmas present very soon..."

To which you bought into:

(to which I replied 'think it would be more of a gift to you than me").

And now you're trying to beat her in a game where she is dealing the cards. Pretty difficult position to be in.

I have no way of knowing if it was still pullable, but what I'd do is spend some time with her and not bulge for a single of her shit tests, withdraw, make the invite, withdraw again.

In this case I think it might not have worked because by the way things are going I think she'd just assume she'd hit you later and you'd reply/be up for another outing, unless you could pass each one of her tests + build sexual tension until the point she could take no more and had to get out of there with you. But that's super hard to pull off.

 

[Shadow]

@Big Daddy, jdoc - thank you both for the insightful replies. Really appreciate it I absolutely need to work harder on my frame control and 'neediness'.. And you are right I must have over gamed this (over complicating it). I believe I got too attached and this drunk club meeting really must of broken my frame...

I dropped her a text yesterday (after 3 days of radio silence) saying "Hey little one, lets meet for a sober coffee soon?" and got no reply. So I'm guessing I must have really fucked up something at the club that I don't remember very well

Too bad - was really starting to like her (which I think is the bottom line problem). Learned loads though and was good fun - time to move on

Thank you all for your help and input!