2 Girls: Friend Zone & High School Chaser

[Troy]

Hey guys

Today I have a situation with 2 girls.

Girl 1: Moesha​

This girl used to chase me in high school. She used to play netball and was really good at it. Back in high school, I was very shy around people in general. I could tell this girl liked me, but I did nothing. She was 2 grades younger than me.

Fast forward, to this week I decided to message her on Facebook:

Troy: Hi Moesha, I hope you have been well. I just saw you online and thought I'd reach out (honesty that was my intent but after I sent the first message I thought it would only be appropriate to ask her out, especially since I knew she liked me for years.

Moesha: Hello Troy. All is well, thanks. I hope all is well with you, too.

Troy: Yeah life has been ok. I'm here working every day on side projects while holding down my day job lol. What have you been up to lately?

Troy: (2nd message a few mins later) Any plans to go to ----(sporting event) this year?

Moesha: Will be working

Troy: Ok kl. Hey Moesha see the image attached (I took one of my best pics that lots of women have complimented and on it, I drew a talking cloud and in the cloud it reads "May I take you out on a beach trip Moesha when you are not working

(no response from her after 24 hours so I message again today)

Troy: Hey Moesha, I'd love to take you out to the beach to get some good food and chill

Moesha: Thanks but I'm a little busy now

End of the conversation. I just click the little thumbs up on her message. I think attraction is expired. Do you guys agree? Do you think it makes sense to even follow up with her in the future? She may genuinely be busy. I know I certainly have been over the past couple years as I work on my finances, game, and fitness. So I am being fair here, she could still like me but just too busy to give a more interested reply.

Girl 2: Tameka​

This is one of the young girls that has been chasing me for the past 7 years. Every year, she Whatsapp messages me "Happy Birthday". And since today is my Birthday, I got a message from her. I appreciate it and all. However, there are a couple of issues:

1. She is a 23-year-old virgin (I am usually skeptical when a woman says she is a virgin, but this girl I know she ain't lying. I know she ain't even give a blowjob before.

2. She is waiting till marriage and last year I had a discussion with her. She admitted seeing me as her future husband and having kids with me. Ok nothing wrong with that dream of hers... But here is the problem.

3. She is a devoted Christian. This is one of those girls you have to walk on eggshells around. I have way too much care for other humans to be some asshole and sleep with women by being dishonest. I know if I end up sleeping with her, it will be such a big deal to her that the only way to go deal with her afterward is to put a ring on her finger. And I am not ready to settle down with any woman. Not before the next decade I think. I don't see a way I could have casual sex with her and break it off after a few months without totally destroying this girl. Here is why...

4. Due to her religious beliefs and upbringing, she seems a bit slow to realize I am not interested in marriage at this point. I did my best last year to let her down by letting her know her Pastor can find her a good husband that may wait till marriage for sex. There are single men out there in the Church. I doubt most will wait for sex till marriage, but I think a few would.

................................................................

I replied to her "Happy Birthday message". Also, her birthday is a few days from mine so I will be wishing her a Happy Birthday as well. I think it's the right thing to do. I honestly am not trying to hurt this girl's feelings. But I am trying to shake her off as nicely as possible. I deleted her number but kept the message history. So she can no longer see my Whatsapp stories, display pic, etc.

Oh btw, she also messaged me after Valentine's Day....I can tell she was busy thinking of me on that day.

How do I shake her off me without causing harm? On the flip side, I may be wrong. Maybe I could get to have casual sex with her...maybe her mind has changed and she now wants to fuck. How do I gauge when a religious girl has gone naughty?

Troy

 

[Beam]

Bro why are you wasting time with these chicks?

1. Moesha is not interested. Also you offered to take her out on a beach trip after getting no investment from her at all. You need to warm her up before asking her out, especially since it's been years since you've spoken to her. Tease her, screen her and qualify her when she passes your screens - she needs to think that she has earned your offer otherwise it devalues it.

To make matters worse, when she didn't respond you invited her out with the same suggestion again, rewarding her bad behaviour. She saw your first message and chose not to respond. Would be better to wait a bit longer, then reengage again using the above strategy, not calling any attention to the fact that she didn't respond, or making any mention of taking her out to the beach. Then make another offer (let's grab a bite/drink) but don't mention the beach again - she has already rejected this idea by not responding to your message (and sure, most likely she likes the beach and didn't respond because of the way you made the invite, but don't take the risk doubling down on something which already hasn't worked)

But to summarize, this one is done and not interested so I don't see any point spending any more time on her.

2. Chick 2 seems like too much of a headache to deal with regarding sex. The way you "shake her off" is by ignoring her, or minimal investment by liking her happy birthday messages, nothing more.

Go cold approach other chicks.

 

[Will_V]

Hey guys

Today I have a situation with 2 girls.

Girl 1: Moesha​

This girl used to chase me in high school. She used to play netball and was really good at it. Back in high school, I was very shy around people in general. I could tell this girl liked me, but I did nothing. She was 2 grades younger than me.

Fast forward, to this week I decided to message her on Facebook:

Troy: Hi Moesha, I hope you have been well. I just saw you online and thought I'd reach out (honesty that was my intent but after I sent the first message I thought it would only be appropriate to ask her out, especially since I knew she liked me for years.

Moesha: Hello Troy. All is well, thanks. I hope all is well with you, too.

Troy: Yeah life has been ok. I'm here working every day on side projects while holding down my day job lol. What have you been up to lately?

Troy: (2nd message a few mins later) Any plans to go to ----(sporting event) this year?

Moesha: Will be working

Troy: Ok kl. Hey Moesha see the image attached (I took one of my best pics that lots of women have complimented and on it, I drew a talking cloud and in the cloud it reads "May I take you out on a beach trip Moesha when you are not working

(no response from her after 24 hours so I message again today)

Troy: Hey Moesha, I'd love to take you out to the beach to get some good food and chill

Moesha: Thanks but I'm a little busy now

End of the conversation. I just click the little thumbs up on her message. I think attraction is expired. Do you guys agree? Do you think it makes sense to even follow up with her in the future? She may genuinely be busy. I know I certainly have been over the past couple years as I work on my finances, game, and fitness. So I am being fair here, she could still like me but just too busy to give a more interested reply.

Girl 2: Tameka​

This is one of the young girls that has been chasing me for the past 7 years. Every year, she Whatsapp messages me "Happy Birthday". And since today is my Birthday, I got a message from her. I appreciate it and all. However, there are a couple of issues:

1. She is a 23-year-old virgin (I am usually skeptical when a woman says she is a virgin, but this girl I know she ain't lying. I know she ain't even give a blowjob before.

2. She is waiting till marriage and last year I had a discussion with her. She admitted seeing me as her future husband and having kids with me. Ok nothing wrong with that dream of hers... But here is the problem.

3. She is a devoted Christian. This is one of those girls you have to walk on eggshells around. I have way too much care for other humans to be some asshole and sleep with women by being dishonest. I know if I end up sleeping with her, it will be such a big deal to her that the only way to go deal with her afterward is to put a ring on her finger. And I am not ready to settle down with any woman. Not before the next decade I think. I don't see a way I could have casual sex with her and break it off after a few months without totally destroying this girl. Here is why...

4. Due to her religious beliefs and upbringing, she seems a bit slow to realize I am not interested in marriage at this point. I did my best last year to let her down by letting her know her Pastor can find her a good husband that may wait till marriage for sex. There are single men out there in the Church. I doubt most will wait for sex till marriage, but I think a few would.

................................................................

I replied to her "Happy Birthday message". Also, her birthday is a few days from mine so I will be wishing her a Happy Birthday as well. I think it's the right thing to do. I honestly am not trying to hurt this girl's feelings. But I am trying to shake her off as nicely as possible. I deleted her number but kept the message history. So she can no longer see my Whatsapp stories, display pic, etc.

Oh btw, she also messaged me after Valentine's Day....I can tell she was busy thinking of me on that day.

How do I shake her off me without causing harm? On the flip side, I may be wrong. Maybe I could get to have casual sex with her...maybe her mind has changed and she now wants to fuck. How do I gauge when a religious girl has gone naughty?

Troy

Hey Troy, @Beam is right.

First one definitely was cold to lukewarm from the get go, but the main problem was that you pulled the trigger way too fast.

You have no idea what her worldview is now, things change very fast after high school. For all you know she's cultivated an upper class presentation and only wants to date guys in business suits. You have to suss things out, build a connection. In one of Chase's articles, he mentions that when reconnecting with a girl out of the blue, focus on her and ask her a lot about herself, keep the attention off you. Then when she asks something about you start to build some intrigue/value etc. I've used this to reconnect with a girl I laid a couple of times who then moved interstate, I happened to go there a year later and I took her to bed again.

The reason is because you reconnecting is already showing intent and she's not bought in yet (her first response was a little guarded tbh). So you have to make her feel good, create a fun, easy vibe, wait until she asks things about you etc and only after some time do a soft close. Whereas you went in and quickly made a very direct attempt at closing when she'd not opened up yet.

For the one you want to shake off, probably stop replying is enough, block her or whatever.

 

[Just a Man]

Hi @Troy, I agree with @Beam and @Will_V.

The only thing I'd add is about Girl 2, "a devoted Christian". A long, long time ago in what feels like a galaxy far, far away, I had a devoted Christian gf. Before me, she'd had no experience. I pretty quickly warmed her up into a very active sexual relationship. We agreed that PIV was off limits, so she could claim to be getting married as a virgin, but we did a whole bunch of other stuff. She came easy, came a lot and was a huge screamer, and she developed some pretty good skills, which was all good fun. (I got PIV elsewhere when I felt the need, and she didn't need to know about that.) The break-up, on the other hand, was pretty miserable. Her insistence on knowing that we were moving towards marriage ultimately got in the way of things.

 

[Troy]

1. Moesha is not interested. Also you offered to take her out on a beach trip after getting no investment from her at all. You need to warm her up before asking her out, especially since it's been years since you've spoken to her. Tease her, screen her and qualify her when she passes your screens - she needs to think that she has earned your offer otherwise it devalues it.

Facebook Messenger is a challenge. What I have found when re-engaging girls there are attempts to tease, screen, or qualify often fall flat. The # 1 reason is girls peak out fast on social media. I think they get too much stimulation there to focus on a conversation with me. They get all these likes and messages from tons of guys.

I agree with you, I did not tease or screen. She even evaded the first question when I asked what kind of work she was doing now. So after I got that message back, I thought, mhmm let me try something new.

To make matters worse, when she didn't respond you invited her out with the same suggestion again, rewarding her bad behaviour. She saw your first message and chose not to respond.

I'm going to run a test on my phone. I sent the image because I know girls have the Facebook preview thing on their phones. So they can preview read messages without actually opening them. I'm going to test if it's possible to read the text in an image without opening it.

Edit: Test complete. Ah yes, she could have previewed the message on her phone without opening it. Even the text in the image is clearly visible.

To make matters worse, when she didn't respond you invited her out with the same suggestion again, rewarding her bad behaviour. She saw your first message and chose not to respond. Would be better to wait a bit longer, then reengage again using the above strategy, not calling any attention to the fact that she didn't respond, or making any mention of taking her out to the beach. Then make another offer (let's grab a bite/drink) but don't mention the beach again - she has already rejected this idea by not responding to your message (and sure, most likely she likes the beach and didn't respond because of the way you made the invite, but don't take the risk doubling down on something which already hasn't worked)

Ok got it!

2. Chick 2 seems like too much of a headache to deal with regarding sex. The way you "shake her off" is by ignoring her, or minimal investment by liking her happy birthday messages, nothing more.

Go cold approach other chicks.

Yeah, a total headache for sure. The thought of having a "girlfriend" and still needing to masturbate on the regular, while paying out of pocket for dates... absolutely zero value exchange. I'm going to feel like an asshole to avoid telling her happy birthday in a few days, but I'm a go for it. Hopefully, she gets the memo this time and goes to find the Pastors son to marry.

First one definitely was cold to lukewarm from the get go, but the main problem was that you pulled the trigger way too fast.

You have no idea what her worldview is now, things change very fast after high school. For all you know she's cultivated an upper class presentation and only wants to date guys in business suits. You have to suss things out, build a connection. In one of Chase's articles, he mentions that when reconnecting with a girl out of the blue, focus on her and ask her a lot about herself, keep the attention off you. Then when she asks something about you start to build some intrigue/value etc. I've used this to reconnect with a girl I laid a couple of times who then moved interstate, I happened to go there a year later and I took her to bed again.

The reason is because you reconnecting is already showing intent and she's not bought in yet (her first response was a little guarded tbh). So you have to make her feel good, create a fun, easy vibe, wait until she asks things about you etc and only after some time do a soft close. Whereas you went in and quickly made a very direct attempt at closing when she'd not opened up yet.

Got it. Have you found an effective strategy to do this with girls on social media? In most of my attempts, the girls drop out of the conversation long before I get an opportunity to ask the screening questions.

For the one you want to shake off, probably stop replying is enough, block her or whatever.

Ok cool, I just blocked her number.

The only thing I'd add is about Girl 2, "a devoted Christian". A long, long time ago in what feels like a galaxy far, far away, I had a devoted Christian gf. Before me, she'd had no experience. I pretty quickly warmed her up into a very active sexual relationship. We agreed that PIV was off limits, so she could claim to be getting married as a virgin, but we did a whole bunch of other stuff. She came easy, came a lot and was a huge screamer, and she developed some pretty good skills, which was all good fun. (I got PIV elsewhere when I felt the need, and she didn't need to know about that.) The break-up, on the other hand, was pretty miserable. Her insistence on knowing that we were moving towards marriage ultimately got in the way of things.

That's a cool story. What I like even more about your story is the fact she was ok with you getting PIV elsewhere. This Christian girl that is pursuing me, I know she would be needy if I wanted PIV from other girls if we were to date seriously. Pretty much zero value exchange and a total headache if I dared date her.

Troy

 

[Just a Man]

That's a cool story. What I like even more about your story is the fact she was ok with you getting PIV elsewhere. This Christian girl that is pursuing me, I know she would be needy if I wanted PIV from other girls if we were to date seriously. Pretty much zero value exchange and a total headache if I dared date her.

Oh good heavens, no. I didn't tell her. It was my decision that she didn't need to know, not hers. Sorry, Troy. I was already bad to the bone.

 

[Will_V]

Got it. Have you found an effective strategy to do this with girls on social media? In most of my attempts, the girls drop out of the conversation long before I get an opportunity to ask the screening questions.

The only social media I have active is facebook, and I haven't used it in 2 or 3 years. I avoid anything to do with social media as I dislike non face to face communication with girls. Texting is annoying enough.

A good basic approach though is to send her a post that you'd be happy to get from someone you haven't heard from or thought about in a long time. Something warm, positive, preferably highlighting an event or topic that connected you in the past, with a touch of humor or wit. The kind of post that suggests 'social value', establishes rapport, and makes her want to get to know who you are now.

Your reply here:

Yeah life has been ok. I'm here working every day on side projects while holding down my day job lol. What have you been up to lately?

is frankly not good at all (no problem, we've all done that!).

'Life has been OK' implies that you're really not doing all that well. 'I'm here working every day on side projects' is not particularly interesting, informative, or eliciting of good feelings. 'Lol' is not the kind of word that you want to attach to a description of your current lifestyle. 'What have you been up to lately?' is just throwing the ball in her court to come up with something interesting to say.

Not trying to be harsh here, we've all sent texts and messages like this.

Personally what I'd send is something like:

"Hey X, just thought of you when I <insert something you might see/do that would remind you of her, based on something unique about her. Preferably something that reveals a small bit of intriguing information about you as well>. How's everything with you? "

So maybe "Hey X, just started looking into playing social basketball and remembered all the fun times we had on sports day. How's everything been with you? "

Simple, warm, instant rapport, no excusing yourself, easy to respond to and build off, and gives her something to ask you about as well.

 

[Troy]

The only social media I have active is facebook, and I haven't used it in 2 or 3 years. I avoid anything to do with social media as I dislike non face to face communication with girls. Texting is annoying enough.

A good basic approach though is to send her a post that you'd be happy to get from someone you haven't heard from or thought about in a long time. Something warm, positive, preferably highlighting an event or topic that connected you in the past, with a touch of humor or wit. The kind of post that suggests 'social value', establishes rapport, and makes her want to get to know who you are now.

Hey Will_V thanks for the info. Pardon the delay, I just got finished celebrating my birthday and was not on here much. I have noted down your recommendation and will make an attempt to implement it the next time.

Your reply here:



is frankly not good at all (no problem, we've all done that!).

'Life has been OK' implies that you're really not doing all that well. 'I'm here working every day on side projects' is not particularly interesting, informative, or eliciting of good feelings. 'Lol' is not the kind of word that you want to attach to a description of your current lifestyle. 'What have you been up to lately?' is just throwing the ball in her court to come up with something interesting to say.

Not trying to be harsh here, we've all sent texts and messages like this.

Personally what I'd send is something like:

"Hey X, just thought of you when I <insert something you might see/do that would remind you of her, based on something unique about her. Preferably something that reveals a small bit of intriguing information about you as well>. How's everything with you? "

So maybe "Hey X, just started looking into playing social basketball and remembered all the fun times we had on sports day. How's everything been with you? "

Simple, warm, instant rapport, no excusing yourself, easy to respond to and build off, and gives her something to ask you about as well.

You're right. That message is not exciting at all and yes I was throwing the ball in her court hoping she had something more interesting going on that I could spin the conversation towards. She used to play netball in high school. I probably could have flirted on that and bring up good memories from that.

Ok, I will attempt to implement this the next time. Thanks

Troy

 

[Skills]

Hey guys

Today I have a situation with 2 girls.

Girl 1: Moesha​

This girl used to chase me in high school. She used to play netball and was really good at it. Back in high school, I was very shy around people in general. I could tell this girl liked me, but I did nothing. She was 2 grades younger than me.

Fast forward, to this week I decided to message her on Facebook:

Troy: Hi Moesha, I hope you have been well. I just saw you online and thought I'd reach out (honesty that was my intent but after I sent the first message I thought it would only be appropriate to ask her out, especially since I knew she liked me for years.

Moesha: Hello Troy. All is well, thanks. I hope all is well with you, too.

Troy: Yeah life has been ok. I'm here working every day on side projects while holding down my day job lol. What have you been up to lately?

Troy: (2nd message a few mins later) Any plans to go to ----(sporting event) this year?

Moesha: Will be working

Troy: Ok kl. Hey Moesha see the image attached (I took one of my best pics that lots of women have complimented and on it, I drew a talking cloud and in the cloud it reads "May I take you out on a beach trip Moesha when you are not working

(no response from her after 24 hours so I message again today)

Troy: Hey Moesha, I'd love to take you out to the beach to get some good food and chill

Moesha: Thanks but I'm a little busy now

End of the conversation. I just click the little thumbs up on her message. I think attraction is expired. Do you guys agree? Do you think it makes sense to even follow up with her in the future? She may genuinely be busy. I know I certainly have been over the past couple years as I work on my finances, game, and fitness. So I am being fair here, she could still like me but just too busy to give a more interested reply.

Girl 2: Tameka​

This is one of the young girls that has been chasing me for the past 7 years. Every year, she Whatsapp messages me "Happy Birthday". And since today is my Birthday, I got a message from her. I appreciate it and all. However, there are a couple of issues:

1. She is a 23-year-old virgin (I am usually skeptical when a woman says she is a virgin, but this girl I know she ain't lying. I know she ain't even give a blowjob before.

2. She is waiting till marriage and last year I had a discussion with her. She admitted seeing me as her future husband and having kids with me. Ok nothing wrong with that dream of hers... But here is the problem.

3. She is a devoted Christian. This is one of those girls you have to walk on eggshells around. I have way too much care for other humans to be some asshole and sleep with women by being dishonest. I know if I end up sleeping with her, it will be such a big deal to her that the only way to go deal with her afterward is to put a ring on her finger. And I am not ready to settle down with any woman. Not before the next decade I think. I don't see a way I could have casual sex with her and break it off after a few months without totally destroying this girl. Here is why...

4. Due to her religious beliefs and upbringing, she seems a bit slow to realize I am not interested in marriage at this point. I did my best last year to let her down by letting her know her Pastor can find her a good husband that may wait till marriage for sex. There are single men out there in the Church. I doubt most will wait for sex till marriage, but I think a few would.

................................................................

I replied to her "Happy Birthday message". Also, her birthday is a few days from mine so I will be wishing her a Happy Birthday as well. I think it's the right thing to do. I honestly am not trying to hurt this girl's feelings. But I am trying to shake her off as nicely as possible. I deleted her number but kept the message history. So she can no longer see my Whatsapp stories, display pic, etc.

Oh btw, she also messaged me after Valentine's Day....I can tell she was busy thinking of me on that day.

How do I shake her off me without causing harm? On the flip side, I may be wrong. Maybe I could get to have casual sex with her...maybe her mind has changed and she now wants to fuck. How do I gauge when a religious girl has gone naughty?

T

horrible! brah read my texting guides and field test... moesha was giving you polite responses, no investing in convo or conversation and then you try to hard close twice, with 0 investment... beyond bad.......don't worry about causing girls harm, most guys in the forum have been banging virgins left and right with no issues... Protein was having the same objection, i told him what i am telling you is total cope...

 

[ocean_eyes]

The one thing I would suggest that others haven't yet, is to talk to WAY MORE girls, if you're doing it online!

Posting about only these two short online interactions, says to me that you need to cast a wider net so you're less invested

Also: casually get some numbers, get them on the phone, talk sexy.

Disclaimer: Not an online expert - but I have ALWAYS pulled hotter and cooler chicks in-person and would recommend putting your time there instead