2nd dates not happening - how to diagnose the problem ?

[kalakol]

Hiya,

Ive observed a pattern over the past few months - ill meet new girls, or ask out girls ive casually known,
they'll be really excited, the text setup of the date will be short and sweet and they will fit to my schedule.
Then the date happens, it's low key - get a tea/coffee, ive got my fundamentals (improved, i daresay),
and everything seems to be going fine. There's good comfort and rapport, they react neutral/positive to touch and there's
a good amount of it, we talk slightly sexual, im chill, they're excited, and so on....

And that's where it stops - when I text to setup a 2nd date, i get something that boils down to 'this is not a good idea',
or no response. Im playing with college age girls, and im the same age. On the one hand, i guess its good that im
communicating intent and im getting the no quickly rather than stringing it alone, im also comfortable with moving faster
and rejection, and im not too bothered by these and dont chase them after - im cool when we see each other again .

But i cant figure out why, - is it the flow, a technique, or I just need to go after more girls (this has been the case with about
7 girls so far) ? Thoughts on how I can diagnose the problem would be much appreciated.

Cheers

 

[Franco]

Are you attempting to take them home after the first date?

- Franco

 

[kalakol]

I am not, unfortunately my logistics dont allow for that now

 

[Franco]

kalakol,

I am not, unfortunately my logistics dont allow for that now

It's going to be an uphill battle if you don't.

If you can, you should attempt to escalate with girls in a public (but secluded) location or in your car (if you have one). It's especially important to find a way to escalate with the girl on the first date somewhere if you can't take her back to your place. Otherwise, girls will likely continue to flake on you after first dates because there is a lack of sexuality, adventure, and excitement.

Even with date compression, inviting a girl to move with you to an isolated location to escalate is something you should always do on the first date so that she at least knows you're a sexual man who's going to take action and move things forward when the time comes.

- Franco

 

[kalakol]

Thanks for the detailed response. This has happened with both experienced and inexperienced girls,
so is this the main reason, you think ?

 

[ocantu1987]

yes, like franco said. But speaking from experience if you bring a girl home, go for the kiss like 5 minutes and go for sex all the way, dont give up when she gives you LMR, unless she says "no" do your very best to beat LMR because you may not see her again, unlike me I brought a girl home, made out with her, feeling all over her body and attempted to go for sex, she gave me a bunch of LMR, but she never said "no" I said hmm whatever, I will see her again so I stopped. Well, the next day she had buyers remorse and after that she just made excuses about seeing me again, so I never did see her again lol

If you cant escalate anywhere else then go for the kiss/makeout on the first date.