Hey everyone!
It's 1:00 AM, I really should be sleeping, but there is one thing in my mind that is not letting me.
I haven't been posting for a long time, I also failed to complete the newbie assignment, but this community gave me so much, I would feel very shameful if I couldn't give back something, and just disappear because I didn't became good with women in just a few months.
First of all, allow me to confess:
I did broke some of my promises: I haven't approached a larger number of girls, I did read one or two articles before approaching a larger number of girls.
I tried a lot of different techniques to help my approach anxiety, and they all fail at the same test: when I have to MAKE the approach, I forget about everything. No matter how much I am trying to force myself to do the technique, I just see 'that amazing girl' and become intimidated by her beauty.
So after going out every single weekend, and staying out for 3-5 hours just walking around the streets, malls, and other shops, and NOT MAKING ONE SINGLE APPROACH with a direct opener, I started wondering about...
How can this actually happen?
I mean come on... It's even funny to write it down. A 5 year old kid could do this. What happens is a girl rejects me? Big deal! And still, when I'm out there it's like I'm the jungle, horrified by some wild tigers and poisonous snakes. I've read hundreds and thousands of articles about beating approach anxiety, and came up with lots of other techniques by myself and still nothing helps. I became a bit confused. I really want to become good with women, there is no doubt about that, but if so, why can't I complete such a simple task, of asking some girls if they are single?
The task itself...
Although I still believe that if I had a coach who would kick my ass to do things, I would conquer the anxiety in no time, but there are some minor problems:
1. I also have a business, with several partners. It's peak of the season and we all work 12-14 hours/day, including weekends. I could say that: sorry guys, I have other important things to do, like chasing girls in the shopping malls, but that wouldn't be too manly.
2. By focusing on two very important things at the same time I messed up both of them. My productivity at work became very weak, and I still couldn't approach any girl.
3. Having debts. I owe one of my partners a larger amount of money. It's a long story, the only important thing is that if I can pay it back, I will finally be able to afford myself to rent my own flat, and that would handle:
4. Logistics, which is a huge issue. Even though I told myself, that until I handle logistics, I'll still go out to learn to approach girls, and the funny thing is, that I am more afraid that the girl will say yes, because I have no place to take her. Since I am very inexperienced, I don't think public toilets are ideal spots to actively start my sex life.
How to fix it?
I think it's way more important to cover my debts first, and give 100% at work while the others are doing that too. I told myself: from January till May I'll be able to relax, but right now I really have to work hard, and stop this nonsense of going out and not doing anything.
But I still wanted to keep that little fire burning somehow. What should I do if I have to stop going out on the streets, and don't have the money and time and most importantly, the nerves for the night-time venues?
My hair-stylist asked me one day: Why don't you come to dance class? There are a lot of young and hot girls!
I quickly decided, to give it a shot. It's just 4 hours a week. I'm at the beginners, not too much hot stuff here, but I do enjoy it, and want to continue doing it. By the beginning of the next year, I want to master all the basic moves, so I can to move on to do salsa!
I also started doing at least a little workout each day before I go to bed, and 15 mins meditation 4-5 times/week.
The funny thing is that after I stopped worrying about picking up girls, I am noticing that I naturally:
- became more social
- feel more magnetism with women (I think this is also because of quitting porn and facebook)
- engage into sexual talk more quickly
- have a better posture
- enjoy talking to girls and being around them
And slowly, but it seems like my craving for women is starting to be replaced by true desire.
I still don't know how would I approach a girl on the street but I do believe that I will have the confidence for that one day.
Starting and persisting to do the newbie assignment was something great! It revealed all these fundamental problems which need to be handled. And I really do want to be good at day-game, so I wrote this post also to assure myself, that I am not going to quit it.
In the last few months my views have slightly changed about all this seduction stuff, and the things that GirlsChase authors teach. What I am starting to realize, is that (for me at least) it's actually not a journey which is about becoming good with women, and becoming the super-ultra-alpha male who fucks 10 different women each day. It's more like a journey about finding and creating yourself (your personality).
The objective is not really knowing the fact the you are good with women. It's the peace of the mind. And becoming good with women is just a part of it.
So thanks to everyone!
I'll be back!
Steff
It's 1:00 AM, I really should be sleeping, but there is one thing in my mind that is not letting me.
I haven't been posting for a long time, I also failed to complete the newbie assignment, but this community gave me so much, I would feel very shameful if I couldn't give back something, and just disappear because I didn't became good with women in just a few months.
First of all, allow me to confess:
I did broke some of my promises: I haven't approached a larger number of girls, I did read one or two articles before approaching a larger number of girls.
I tried a lot of different techniques to help my approach anxiety, and they all fail at the same test: when I have to MAKE the approach, I forget about everything. No matter how much I am trying to force myself to do the technique, I just see 'that amazing girl' and become intimidated by her beauty.
So after going out every single weekend, and staying out for 3-5 hours just walking around the streets, malls, and other shops, and NOT MAKING ONE SINGLE APPROACH with a direct opener, I started wondering about...
How can this actually happen?
I mean come on... It's even funny to write it down. A 5 year old kid could do this. What happens is a girl rejects me? Big deal! And still, when I'm out there it's like I'm the jungle, horrified by some wild tigers and poisonous snakes. I've read hundreds and thousands of articles about beating approach anxiety, and came up with lots of other techniques by myself and still nothing helps. I became a bit confused. I really want to become good with women, there is no doubt about that, but if so, why can't I complete such a simple task, of asking some girls if they are single?
The task itself...
Although I still believe that if I had a coach who would kick my ass to do things, I would conquer the anxiety in no time, but there are some minor problems:
1. I also have a business, with several partners. It's peak of the season and we all work 12-14 hours/day, including weekends. I could say that: sorry guys, I have other important things to do, like chasing girls in the shopping malls, but that wouldn't be too manly.
2. By focusing on two very important things at the same time I messed up both of them. My productivity at work became very weak, and I still couldn't approach any girl.
3. Having debts. I owe one of my partners a larger amount of money. It's a long story, the only important thing is that if I can pay it back, I will finally be able to afford myself to rent my own flat, and that would handle:
4. Logistics, which is a huge issue. Even though I told myself, that until I handle logistics, I'll still go out to learn to approach girls, and the funny thing is, that I am more afraid that the girl will say yes, because I have no place to take her. Since I am very inexperienced, I don't think public toilets are ideal spots to actively start my sex life.
How to fix it?
I think it's way more important to cover my debts first, and give 100% at work while the others are doing that too. I told myself: from January till May I'll be able to relax, but right now I really have to work hard, and stop this nonsense of going out and not doing anything.
But I still wanted to keep that little fire burning somehow. What should I do if I have to stop going out on the streets, and don't have the money and time and most importantly, the nerves for the night-time venues?
My hair-stylist asked me one day: Why don't you come to dance class? There are a lot of young and hot girls!
I quickly decided, to give it a shot. It's just 4 hours a week. I'm at the beginners, not too much hot stuff here, but I do enjoy it, and want to continue doing it. By the beginning of the next year, I want to master all the basic moves, so I can to move on to do salsa!
I also started doing at least a little workout each day before I go to bed, and 15 mins meditation 4-5 times/week.
The funny thing is that after I stopped worrying about picking up girls, I am noticing that I naturally:
- became more social
- feel more magnetism with women (I think this is also because of quitting porn and facebook)
- engage into sexual talk more quickly
- have a better posture
- enjoy talking to girls and being around them
And slowly, but it seems like my craving for women is starting to be replaced by true desire.
I still don't know how would I approach a girl on the street but I do believe that I will have the confidence for that one day.
Starting and persisting to do the newbie assignment was something great! It revealed all these fundamental problems which need to be handled. And I really do want to be good at day-game, so I wrote this post also to assure myself, that I am not going to quit it.
In the last few months my views have slightly changed about all this seduction stuff, and the things that GirlsChase authors teach. What I am starting to realize, is that (for me at least) it's actually not a journey which is about becoming good with women, and becoming the super-ultra-alpha male who fucks 10 different women each day. It's more like a journey about finding and creating yourself (your personality).
The objective is not really knowing the fact the you are good with women. It's the peace of the mind. And becoming good with women is just a part of it.
So thanks to everyone!
I'll be back!
Steff
