A
Anonymous
Guest
First off, I want to thank all the members of this forum who take out time to help us guys in need. I had come over here for some help sometime during the course of our relationship and due to your advice I could sort out the issues I was having then.
We started dating around 3 years ago. Strange thing is, she had always told me from the beginning that she's not marriage material and she doesn't ever want to settle down with one person.
I was fine with it too, expecting it to not last more than a couple of months at max. Except that it didn't fizzle out. Turned out that we really really enjoyed each others' company and had fallen in love with each other. Around the time that our relationship crossed the 2 year stage, I began hoping for more: I was madly in love with this beautiful, kind, amazing woman and what's more, we had even started a firm together. She was very much in love with me, too (she still is).
Although we didn't exactly live together, there was a time when she stayed at my place for over 5 months while she was changing apartments. And we've been in the same city so we were pretty much over all the time. Oh, and, we're both around 30 now.
All throughout, though, she maintained that she never wanted to marry me (except for that one time when she fantasized about our marriage). I would have been fine with it too (I just want to live with this girl, marriage or not), had it not been for the fact that now she saw herself eventually settling down with someone, just not me. :O
I still remember the conversation where she dropped this on me. Being a mature couple comfortable enough with each other to talk things out, I tried to find out the reason. But the only thing I could gather was that apparently (even after all these years) I was not her 'type' and that she didn't see herself living with me. No other solid reason. Needless to say, my heart was shattered all over the floor.
I tried to stay aloof though, and told her that if she wanted to end it then be it. I told her we would continue working together in spite of it and not give up on our career dreams. This was 4 months ago. However due to the complication of being partners at work now, we end up seeing each other everyday and talking to each other just as much. In other words nothing has changed except that we don't have sex. She is very clearly attached to me, values my opinion on everything including her personal life, and still shows signs of being in love with me (impulsive kisses, hugs, random acts etc). She is NOT seeing anyone else on the side either and there is NO OTHER GUY IN THE PICTURE. Can't stress this point enough; being an open couple we have done a lot of things together and would have no qualms in talking about a third person if one existed.
We have spoken about our relationship status since then and apparently yes, we are still dating each other. She is putting off taking the 'final decision' till later, although she still feels that it won't work out with me. I said I won't stop her whatever decision she takes.
I'm totally lost here. Being the more experienced person relationship-wise, I know for a fact that we can make it work. We are THAT good with each other. We hardly even fight, and even if we do it's far apart and over trivial issues.
I know for a fact that I will be happy with her all my life, and she too will be happy with me, IF ONLY SHE COULD get the thought out of her head that "I'm not right for her".
Honestly I'm stumped. I'm ready to do anything to stop the impending break-up and hopefully get settled with her. Please help.
We started dating around 3 years ago. Strange thing is, she had always told me from the beginning that she's not marriage material and she doesn't ever want to settle down with one person.
I was fine with it too, expecting it to not last more than a couple of months at max. Except that it didn't fizzle out. Turned out that we really really enjoyed each others' company and had fallen in love with each other. Around the time that our relationship crossed the 2 year stage, I began hoping for more: I was madly in love with this beautiful, kind, amazing woman and what's more, we had even started a firm together. She was very much in love with me, too (she still is).
Although we didn't exactly live together, there was a time when she stayed at my place for over 5 months while she was changing apartments. And we've been in the same city so we were pretty much over all the time. Oh, and, we're both around 30 now.
All throughout, though, she maintained that she never wanted to marry me (except for that one time when she fantasized about our marriage). I would have been fine with it too (I just want to live with this girl, marriage or not), had it not been for the fact that now she saw herself eventually settling down with someone, just not me. :O
I still remember the conversation where she dropped this on me. Being a mature couple comfortable enough with each other to talk things out, I tried to find out the reason. But the only thing I could gather was that apparently (even after all these years) I was not her 'type' and that she didn't see herself living with me. No other solid reason. Needless to say, my heart was shattered all over the floor.
I tried to stay aloof though, and told her that if she wanted to end it then be it. I told her we would continue working together in spite of it and not give up on our career dreams. This was 4 months ago. However due to the complication of being partners at work now, we end up seeing each other everyday and talking to each other just as much. In other words nothing has changed except that we don't have sex. She is very clearly attached to me, values my opinion on everything including her personal life, and still shows signs of being in love with me (impulsive kisses, hugs, random acts etc). She is NOT seeing anyone else on the side either and there is NO OTHER GUY IN THE PICTURE. Can't stress this point enough; being an open couple we have done a lot of things together and would have no qualms in talking about a third person if one existed.
We have spoken about our relationship status since then and apparently yes, we are still dating each other. She is putting off taking the 'final decision' till later, although she still feels that it won't work out with me. I said I won't stop her whatever decision she takes.
I'm totally lost here. Being the more experienced person relationship-wise, I know for a fact that we can make it work. We are THAT good with each other. We hardly even fight, and even if we do it's far apart and over trivial issues.
I know for a fact that I will be happy with her all my life, and she too will be happy with me, IF ONLY SHE COULD get the thought out of her head that "I'm not right for her".
Honestly I'm stumped. I'm ready to do anything to stop the impending break-up and hopefully get settled with her. Please help.
