A beginner's experience of success is more rewarding

[Bboy100]

I came to an interesting realization as of late. Even though being successful with women is great, and its so much easier, smoother and more painless than before, there's a certain novelty to the experience of being inexperienced which is difficult to recapture.

I remember to this day the first girl I made out with. Vividly. Like it happened yesterday. Objectively, it wasn't even that great. She was drunk beyond sloppy, and I'm pretty sure she had aggressively made out with at least two or three other dudes that night. Including my friend. In hindsight, it was gross. If it happened today, I wouldn't go anywhere near that girl. Regardless, at the time, I was flabbergasted. I couldn't get enough. Why? Because I had never experienced anything like that before. And this in of itself made it feel more rewarding than it does today.

Today, making out with a new girl is like drinking water or having food. Sure, it feels nice. But it's not nearly as magical as it was when I had less of it.

Same goes for my first time having sex. I remember the details. Exactly how she looked. The way she moaned. The way her soft naked body felt against mine. Today, sex feels nice, don't get me wrong. But it's not the same thrill it used to be.

In fact, some of my fondest memories of seduction were towards the start of my career. Because the experience was novel and therefore more intense.

Interestingly enough, this appears to be true for all hedonistic thrills in life.

First time eating at a new restaurant you love? Much more gratifying than eating there for the 1000th time.

First time winning at a videogame? Feels much better than when you're a pro and you stomp on every scrub you meet.

First time getting drunk? Much better experience than if you're a hardcore partyer who goes out every weekend.


So for all you guys still carving your teeth, just remember this...even though victories and successes are still rare, they are also sweeter than they will ever be in the future (assuming you work on yourself enough to get good at this). Enjoy them

 

[Sandman]

True that Still remember the first girl I took home very fondly. Couldn't even get it up due to pa but the memory of her still puts a smile on my face every damn time. She wasn't even that beautiful.

But I'd wager you would still feel the same if you got a girl of a much higher quality then you usually get, no?

 

[Virgin101]

Hi Bboy,

Today, making out with a new girl is like drinking water or having food. Sure, it feels nice. But it's not nearly as magical as it was when I had less of it.

It's interesting reading this, because I'm glad I don't feel the same way! It's good that you're happy with the way you feel
about pick-up... i.e, with the novelty wearing off and all - but for me, as a thrill seeker with a high sex drive, I can't see
the novelty ever wearing off. It's like music, there's an infinite number of melodies as there's an infinite number of women... you can't get bored of it. Not to mention the fact that it's always possible to just set the bar higher for oneself.
I would just hate to be that chill guy who gets loads of sex and doesn't even want it (like Hank Moody).

I've had sex with 21 different women, and there's a tremendous sense of achievement with each one. Okay, the first is one I remember more so, but not because I enjoyed it more - each one is a truly special memory. I can honestly say that I probably remember every girl I've hit on in my life. For me, when I get laid with a woman, it's as if I feel as invincible as if I've seduced 10 women. This might be mainly to do with the fact that I know I wouldn't get it, if they knew how neurotic I am. So even if this is false happiness, it gives me yet more confidence to seduce more.

The way I see it, is that women are the one thing that every virile straight male wants (whether he realises it or not). But yet it's the one thing that you can't just have when you want it. So I don't care about the things that other men think they're enjoying; whether it be cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, XBox, watching a football game. Doing any of those things will never turn people's heads in your direction. That's not achievement!

Even when it comes to money. It's funny to see how a man may work hard in life, all so that he can be socially conditioned into buying an expensive car, to try to impress people they don't like who won't notice it! Seducing lots of women will help you get your priorities in line, as well as develop your interpersonal skills.

Got carried away there! I guess it's something I feel strongly about! Because if I believed that what you say would soon be true for me, I don't know if I'd even bother approaching women half as often!

 

[NiceGuy110]

It is trendy to some, to brag about how chasing girls bores them!

 

[Bboy100]

It doesn't bore me at all. It's more exciting than ever. Because I finally feel like I understand women to a certain degree and I'm proficient at getting what I want out of my dates and relationships. I was only saying that it's less satisfactory from a hedonistic perspective. But even then, its still very very fun. Just saying that it's not as amazing by comparison to when I started.

 

[Atlas]

Hey BBoy, I totally agree with you. A good example that I can think of is Pre workout. If you don't know what that is, its basically just an energy drink with vitamins and shit. I remember the first time I took it (as weird as that sounds) and I've been chasing that "high" feeling ever since. I love taking it before the gym to get hyped still, but I need an ever increasing amount just to feel a fraction of the "high" that I used to. This also reminds me of my Psychology class I took in high school. My teacher described alcohol tolerance and addicts. He showed a diagram that had a straight line, a "normal persons" line if you will. Then he showed an addict when they got drunk; it spiked. Then the line steadied out, dropped until he got more alcohol. Essentially, he required alcohol to feel the equivalent to the "normal" person, and then when he didn't get it, his line shot downward rapidly. I think for the most part, even if it isn't hedonistic, everything just gets a little more boring after doing it repeatedly because it isn't a novelty or a thrill anymore.

 

[Chase]

One addendum I would make is moderation and/or challenge brings back some (though not all) of the thrill... if you want it.

Take a little time off from girls, and the first hot girl you take when you're back is a lot more exciting again. If you miss the old thrill of kissing, don't let yourself kiss for a couple months (you can still shag many girls just fine without kissing their lips - can be a fun thing to try out if you've never tried it). Then go back to it, and it's electric. If you have sex raw a lot, force yourself to wear condoms for two months, then go back to barebacking; it's an explosion of sensation. Forbid yourself from choice sexual positions for a month or two months, then return to them.

If you'd prefer challenge over moderation: go for girls who are hotter or harder to get than you usually get. Go for achievements that'd normally be out of your reach with girls - see if you can bang her outside the day you meet her or the first date. Go for cold approach threesomes. Etc. Or go for some new, different kind of girl unlike the sort you've been with before. Sleep with your first super hot Indian girl, for instance. Or if you usually take girls in their late 20s, take a girl in her late teens. Or vice versa. Take a virgin if you usually go for experienced girls, or an experienced girl if you usually go for virgins.

Works just as well for anything else. If you have a certain food you love, try to limit yourself to enjoying it only once a week. You'll continue to love it almost as much for a long time, simply because you don't overdo it. Certain game you like to play but are good at, increase the difficulty level (or play better players if it's pvp) to the point where you lose 80% or 90% of the time and win only 10-20% of the time. The victories you do get are triumphant, all over again. Or take time off from that game. I played Zork: Grand Inquisitor for the first time in almost 20 years a few months back... while it wasn't as magical as the first time, it was still quite good.

A friend of mine was a big proponent of sex with fat girls to help you appreciate the slim hot girls you slept with. After a roll in the hay with a fattie, suddenly he'd be able to appreciate the beauty of the girls he was with more normally again.

Anyway, various ways you can hack this. You'll never get back to pure beginner levels of joyousness, where it's the first time you got something after previously doubting whether you'd EVER get it. But you can make things much more satisfying by having less of them, or going for more difficult versions of them, or by contrasting them against worse version (like fatties).

Chase