LR A bitter lay

[Energy]

So I end up sleeping with the girl I mentioned here.

TLDR: She and I used to play a cat and mouse game. I literally chase after her and she playfully rejects my advances... all in the view of all my coworker. It was bad, like really bad! I risked all my reputations.

I posted it on the board and accepted everything the guys said but at this point, I thought to myself that I have nothing to lose anymore.

She's a cute girl, many men (old married men, I learn later) hit on her and failed. I will just be a normal guy who took the risk but unlike these men, I would be cool with it

So with that mindset, I continued to try to seduce her but with different methods:
- I no longer chase after her when she wants to stop our conversation. I just brush it off, let her go and ignore her for the rest of the day.
- I make sure to improve the quality of our conversation when I met here.
- I increased my social proof (which is something I always did but it was finally paying off)
- I also don't check her private message on social media anymore. She actually noticed this and threatened to block me if I don't respond to her text

One day I was absent from work and she texted me, asking where I was.

She started to show me some interest:
- she initiated on text
- she openly talked about her sex fantasy
- she asked me to have breakfast together
- She even called me while she was shopping during the weekend

I was back in the game. I was so hyped that I missed the obvious sign: I was in the boyfriend category.
Worse, she is a crazy girl who likes to drink and party. She also threatened to leave me or block me every other day if I didn't answer her call.
I saw all these red flags but since she was still complying when we physically met, I thought that I should ignore these behavior since girls are supposed to be silly anyway!

We finally end up in bed together after a party with a common friend. During the party, we played the Lying Game from The Routine Manual Volume 1 by The Don and Savoy.
We bet that the loser must give a back massage to the other one. I lost the game:

- Her: I bet you never gave a massage
- Me: Another bet? Be careful now, I am very talented with my hands
- Her: Show me then
- Me: I will show you later, in private
- Her: okay

We went back to her house. She went to the bathroom and I said that I was a little hungry so I went outside to fetch something to eat (and to mentally prepare myself for some LMR).

When I came back, she was already topless. Practically no resistance on her part.

Our relationship was a little bit stable after that. She didn't complain that much about my lack of attention anymore.

The downfall
The problem of course came later when she discovered that I was handing out with other girls.

She became erratic, crying on the phone, blaming me for lying to her and using her just for sex.

That's not true since I never lied to her because she never asked in the first place (a little bit devious but true), but I also understand that I did not set the right expectation from the beginning.

I did not want to hurt this girl and it was not my intention to "just sleep" with her; I genuinely enjoyed our conversation; we had some sort of chemistry
but I guess that was exactly the cause of this drama. She opened herself to me, talking about her past relationship, sex fantasies, family problems, etc. I knew that was bad for me but I counter that with me sharing myself to her too, which seems to not have any positive effect on the outcome.

As a rookie, I don't know how should I feel about this. I didn't know how I should've handle it.

I just knew the basic principles of not hurting a girl and setting the right expectation in the beginning, but I was clueless about the technicalities:
- how to answer the question without hurting my chance to sleep with her ?
- How to implicitly say that I'm not searching for something serious right now ?
- How to answer question like "You just want to sleep with me right ?"

Saying something like "I'm still working on personal stuff" in a playful way will work one or two times but she will always find a way to ask this question and requires a serious definitive answer.

When I think about it, what happened was inevitable given my skill set with women. It wouldn't have mattered if I told her the truth or not; maybe she was in this phase of her life right now.

I stumbled (not soon enough) on this quote by Chase:

There’s not an easy answer to this. You’re going to have to go through running both relationships and feeling a little bad that maybe you’re going to hurt these girls, just trusting yourself that whatever happens you can explain it in a way they will understand and not be hurt by. Don’t lead them on, don’t promise anything you can’t deliver, and don’t let them assume things are headed in a direction you know they’re not headed in.

One thing I would recommend is looking for little subtle ways to imply (or make clear), in a playful way, that you’re not totally committed, so her expectations never reach that point where she thinks it’s a totally settled relationship.

You’re also going to want to figure out in advance how you’ll deal with any serious “What are we? / Where is this going?” confrontations a girl raises. Provided you’ve sorted that out in advance, you won’t be caught with your pants down when she presses you on it suddenly and you find yourself in this emotional confrontation unsure how to respond.

I know I'm not the first guy to feel this but I would like to know what yall think about it.

In the end, I learned something and I have a new reference point and that's all that matter in the end