General context
I went in [REDACTED] for several weeks for following an in-field daygame coaching (based on the London Daygame Model). I did 4 dates there, and this is the 1st of the 4.
My following FRs will thus take place in [REDACTED], where the dating culture is probably, on average, a bit more "slow and traditionnal" than in [REDACTED]
From a chronological standpoint, the date with this girl happenned exacly one week later than the 2nd date that was described in the FR "Two dates: a good one, a bad one".
The approach
She was a rather hot 23-year-old Ukrainian girl, with Georgian origins.
This was during a coaching session, she was walking and, after doing a front stop, I opened her with a direct opener:
"Hi... sorry... this is a bit random... but I saw you walking, and I find you really pretty, so I had to say hi"
I don't remember precisely the conversation, which had nothing outstanding. I just remember she told me she just came back to Ukraine one or two days ago, after one year of studying abroad. And that she wants to be a corporate lawyer.
I took her number and ensued a short text conversation, which ended with the setting up of a date for the Saturday evening (the interaction was on Thursday).
The date
The coach advocates for a dating structure with 2 venues (the first one mostly for breaking the ice/social banter and light touching, then bounce her to the second one for flirting and stronger physically escalation). So, for the first time, I try to follow this 2-venues structure during a date.
Therefore, beforehand I had spotted a rather classic bar for the first place, and a more intimate and classy bar for the second place, where we would be able to sit side by side on a couch. In France, my dates weren't as well planned, except for the venue 1, which is probably a bad practice.
She arrived pretty much on time, dressed with a sexy dress. I was there a few minutes earlier. We sit in venue 1, we ordered a glass of wine and we talk about social stuff.
At the end of our first drink I told here we will go to another bar, she seems a bit surpised but I lead and she followed.
In the second venue, we sat side by side on a couch and ordered another glass of wine.
To make the conversation more man to woman, I asked her why she was single while being good looking and smart.
She talked about her past relationships. She asked about mine.
We talked about the fact that Ukraine was very traditionnal regarding dating.
She told me she thinks being married too early is bad, that she think it's better to have more experience before being married, but that society in Ukraine doesn't see things that way, and when a girl is not married past a certain age there is some kind of same associated with it. She told me that she knows girls that were married young and they are now bored to death.
I told her that I had actually already slept with a 32-year old Ukrainian girl in [REDACTED] (my first daygame lay, I didn't talk about daygame though). I am not sure if this is a good idea to talk about that. My intention was to show a bit of preselection and that I could have fast/no string attached sex .
At the end of the glass (it was 1h30 after meeting her) I told her that I had a bottle of wine at my place and that we could continue there. She answered me a bit embarrassed that she would not feel comfortable. So I panicked a little and I proposed to go to another venue instead. We went to a 3rd bar right next to the 2nd, which was not as good as the 2nd (the 3rd one was a classic bar, less classy and intimate than the 2nd one). I was in damage control mode before my failed pull attempt. I told her that if she is hungry we could order some food. She talked about a really Georgian restaurant where she used to be a regular, but where she had not been for 1 year due to her stay abroad.
This seem like a good idea, way better than this new bar. So I agreed to go for this restaurant instead. She called the restaurant to make a reservation, they recognize her and told her there would be a table available in 20 minutes. She teased me with a cool Georgian specialty and Georgian liquor. We walked around while waiting the 20 minutes, stopping at some point to film people dancing to traditionnal Ukrainian music.
Once arrived at the restaurant, we ordered this really cool Georgian dish and a Georgian liquor at 50°C.
She told me about her Georgian origins. She asked for my Instagram and added me.
At some point, she went to the restroom. She came back and told me she is sorry for her lips because she recently had injections in her lips, and I am assuming that was she was in the restroom she saw there were still thraces on her of these injections.
I answered: Oh that's cute, your insecure about it. Don't worry I hadn't notice anything <= I don't think this is a good answer, this a mix of an attempt to push her (whereas a pull would probably have been better at this point), while reassuring her in a nice guy kind of way.
I think a better line would have been: "Don't worry, I still want to kiss you".
She told that the Georgian liquour they serve us was not the one she had in mind, that they were another one stronger at 70°C.
I convience her to order a new shot of this stronger sort (she was the one doing all the interactions with the staff because she spoke the language). I joke that I want her drunk.
Later she askwed me why I want to make her drunk.
I answer : because I am sadistic.
I think this was really a lame answer where I don't assume my intent, due to a lack of confidence. I should have take this opportunity to verbally escalate and assume more my intent, I should have instead say something along the line of "because the more we drink, the more free we feel, and the more we enjoy the moment and the night".
At some point we went outside because she wanted to smoke her electronic cigarette. We stayed outside for 5-10 minutes. She smoked and made me taste the flavor of her electronic cigarette. She alswo showed me some pictures and videos of a little party she had with one of her best friend and one of their law professors of last year (this law professor wasn't very old, he was around 33, the same age as me). She told me that she and her friend made him drunk. She also showed me a picture of her friend (an attractive Ukraine girl about the same age as her) and told me that they plan to go to a nightclub tomorrow and that I could come with her if I wanted to. I joke about Ukrainian girls drinking too much vodka.
She had a sexy dress with one of the straps tending to fall over her arm. I joked about that saying "Stop losing your dress, it makes me nervous". It was kind a of a running that I used 2 or 3 or three during the evening. That made her laugh but I think the word "nervous" was too ambigous/avoidant. I think "stop losing your dress, it gets me excited" would have been way better for conveying my intent.
Then we go back upstairs at our table and asked for the bill. When it arrived I took care of the bill, it was way cheaper than I expected (like most of thing in [REDACTED]).
Then we walk in the park because the restaurant was in the middle of a big park. We walk side by side and our arms brush against each other. I think the energy was really good and that we both had a great evening. We were both a bit drunk also (with 2 shot of this strong Georgian liquor and 2 glass before that).
I thought about putting my hand behind her back while walking. Then I thought "I am going to try to pull her, so better to stay under the radar" so I didn't touch her altough it would have been probably the perfect time for that. I was a bit afraid to go for a pull and was thinking that instead, maybe going for a kiss and a second date was a better solution. But I thought in my head "fuck it, if we do a second date, I will still need to pull her at the end of it and it will not be easier than right now. So better to go for it now".
We walk during 30 minutes while talking about random stuff (since she was the one who proposed this restaurant, it was not ideally located for a smooth and quick pull). When we finally arrived at 2 minutes from my place (which was right in the center of the city), she told something like "we are not very far" with the implied meaning that parting ways was a possibility at this point. I told her joking to come with me in front of my building because I wasn't sure I won't get lost.
In front of my building she was talking about something and I made her keep talking by asking questions about her story. I lead her inside the building and I keep asking her questions when we go up the stairs until we were on my floor. I open the door and I made her enter first (I think this was a mistake, I should have entered first and keep having her following me).
I asked her if she wanted drink a glass of wine, she refused. I put some music and serve her a glass of water. I move closer to her while she was still standing (I realize, while writing this, that I didn't even offer her to sit down), and tried to put my hands around her waist and to kiss her at the same time. She declined while saying:
I am sorry if there is any kind of misunderstanding but I want nothing more
We both sat down. I try to look unaffected and start to talk about random stuff instead. But I understood quickly that she had ordered an Uber. She asked me when I was leaving, I told her in about 10 days, she told me "so I have still one week to make you drunk" implying that we might see each other again. Not sure if this was just to stay polite, or if this was a real intention. I leaning towards the first option. The Uber quickly arrived, we both say each other we had a great evening, and she leaved.
I didn't write her anything the days after, and neither did she. We never talked again.
-------------------------------------------------------
I think my main mistakes were :
- Trying to pull only after 1h30 of meeting her. It is a recurring mistake of mine. It was after that date that I finally consciously understood that I systematically try to pull too early
- I did not convey my intent clearly: Every opportunities that I had to convey a clear intent with words, I choose a "safer" (and more lame) path with a wording more neutral and ambiguous. The "safer" wording may protect me against resistance from the girls and act as a kind of rejection buffer, but it doesn't help me to get laid. Overall I should learn do push/pull better to increase the sexual tension.
- I did not physically escalated: When I had an obvious spot of physical escalation, I thought that since I was going for a pull this would be better "to stay under the radar". But if it is good to not go for a kiss before a pull to not trigger her ASD, this is bad to not physically escalate at all. I really should learn to get physical/sexual in a smooth way
- I escalated way too early at my place, we hadn't spend 5 minutes inside that I went for the kiss.
I pulled her at my place in a kind of sneaky way, and I didn't convey a lot of intent all along. So I am not sure that even if I had waited longer at my place before escalating it would have changed something. But it might have.
I am not sure what she was thinking when she told me at the restaurant that I could go with her and her friend at the nightclub the night after (and also before she leaved, that we had still one week to meet again "to make me drunk"). Was she friendzoning me? Curious to hear some thoughts about that.
I went in [REDACTED] for several weeks for following an in-field daygame coaching (based on the London Daygame Model). I did 4 dates there, and this is the 1st of the 4.
My following FRs will thus take place in [REDACTED], where the dating culture is probably, on average, a bit more "slow and traditionnal" than in [REDACTED]
From a chronological standpoint, the date with this girl happenned exacly one week later than the 2nd date that was described in the FR "Two dates: a good one, a bad one".
The approach
She was a rather hot 23-year-old Ukrainian girl, with Georgian origins.
This was during a coaching session, she was walking and, after doing a front stop, I opened her with a direct opener:
"Hi... sorry... this is a bit random... but I saw you walking, and I find you really pretty, so I had to say hi"
I don't remember precisely the conversation, which had nothing outstanding. I just remember she told me she just came back to Ukraine one or two days ago, after one year of studying abroad. And that she wants to be a corporate lawyer.
I took her number and ensued a short text conversation, which ended with the setting up of a date for the Saturday evening (the interaction was on Thursday).
The date
The coach advocates for a dating structure with 2 venues (the first one mostly for breaking the ice/social banter and light touching, then bounce her to the second one for flirting and stronger physically escalation). So, for the first time, I try to follow this 2-venues structure during a date.
Therefore, beforehand I had spotted a rather classic bar for the first place, and a more intimate and classy bar for the second place, where we would be able to sit side by side on a couch. In France, my dates weren't as well planned, except for the venue 1, which is probably a bad practice.
She arrived pretty much on time, dressed with a sexy dress. I was there a few minutes earlier. We sit in venue 1, we ordered a glass of wine and we talk about social stuff.
At the end of our first drink I told here we will go to another bar, she seems a bit surpised but I lead and she followed.
In the second venue, we sat side by side on a couch and ordered another glass of wine.
To make the conversation more man to woman, I asked her why she was single while being good looking and smart.
She talked about her past relationships. She asked about mine.
We talked about the fact that Ukraine was very traditionnal regarding dating.
She told me she thinks being married too early is bad, that she think it's better to have more experience before being married, but that society in Ukraine doesn't see things that way, and when a girl is not married past a certain age there is some kind of same associated with it. She told me that she knows girls that were married young and they are now bored to death.
I told her that I had actually already slept with a 32-year old Ukrainian girl in [REDACTED] (my first daygame lay, I didn't talk about daygame though). I am not sure if this is a good idea to talk about that. My intention was to show a bit of preselection and that I could have fast/no string attached sex .
At the end of the glass (it was 1h30 after meeting her) I told her that I had a bottle of wine at my place and that we could continue there. She answered me a bit embarrassed that she would not feel comfortable. So I panicked a little and I proposed to go to another venue instead. We went to a 3rd bar right next to the 2nd, which was not as good as the 2nd (the 3rd one was a classic bar, less classy and intimate than the 2nd one). I was in damage control mode before my failed pull attempt. I told her that if she is hungry we could order some food. She talked about a really Georgian restaurant where she used to be a regular, but where she had not been for 1 year due to her stay abroad.
This seem like a good idea, way better than this new bar. So I agreed to go for this restaurant instead. She called the restaurant to make a reservation, they recognize her and told her there would be a table available in 20 minutes. She teased me with a cool Georgian specialty and Georgian liquor. We walked around while waiting the 20 minutes, stopping at some point to film people dancing to traditionnal Ukrainian music.
Once arrived at the restaurant, we ordered this really cool Georgian dish and a Georgian liquor at 50°C.
She told me about her Georgian origins. She asked for my Instagram and added me.
At some point, she went to the restroom. She came back and told me she is sorry for her lips because she recently had injections in her lips, and I am assuming that was she was in the restroom she saw there were still thraces on her of these injections.
I answered: Oh that's cute, your insecure about it. Don't worry I hadn't notice anything <= I don't think this is a good answer, this a mix of an attempt to push her (whereas a pull would probably have been better at this point), while reassuring her in a nice guy kind of way.
I think a better line would have been: "Don't worry, I still want to kiss you".
She told that the Georgian liquour they serve us was not the one she had in mind, that they were another one stronger at 70°C.
I convience her to order a new shot of this stronger sort (she was the one doing all the interactions with the staff because she spoke the language). I joke that I want her drunk.
Later she askwed me why I want to make her drunk.
I answer : because I am sadistic.
I think this was really a lame answer where I don't assume my intent, due to a lack of confidence. I should have take this opportunity to verbally escalate and assume more my intent, I should have instead say something along the line of "because the more we drink, the more free we feel, and the more we enjoy the moment and the night".
At some point we went outside because she wanted to smoke her electronic cigarette. We stayed outside for 5-10 minutes. She smoked and made me taste the flavor of her electronic cigarette. She alswo showed me some pictures and videos of a little party she had with one of her best friend and one of their law professors of last year (this law professor wasn't very old, he was around 33, the same age as me). She told me that she and her friend made him drunk. She also showed me a picture of her friend (an attractive Ukraine girl about the same age as her) and told me that they plan to go to a nightclub tomorrow and that I could come with her if I wanted to. I joke about Ukrainian girls drinking too much vodka.
She had a sexy dress with one of the straps tending to fall over her arm. I joked about that saying "Stop losing your dress, it makes me nervous". It was kind a of a running that I used 2 or 3 or three during the evening. That made her laugh but I think the word "nervous" was too ambigous/avoidant. I think "stop losing your dress, it gets me excited" would have been way better for conveying my intent.
Then we go back upstairs at our table and asked for the bill. When it arrived I took care of the bill, it was way cheaper than I expected (like most of thing in [REDACTED]).
Then we walk in the park because the restaurant was in the middle of a big park. We walk side by side and our arms brush against each other. I think the energy was really good and that we both had a great evening. We were both a bit drunk also (with 2 shot of this strong Georgian liquor and 2 glass before that).
I thought about putting my hand behind her back while walking. Then I thought "I am going to try to pull her, so better to stay under the radar" so I didn't touch her altough it would have been probably the perfect time for that. I was a bit afraid to go for a pull and was thinking that instead, maybe going for a kiss and a second date was a better solution. But I thought in my head "fuck it, if we do a second date, I will still need to pull her at the end of it and it will not be easier than right now. So better to go for it now".
We walk during 30 minutes while talking about random stuff (since she was the one who proposed this restaurant, it was not ideally located for a smooth and quick pull). When we finally arrived at 2 minutes from my place (which was right in the center of the city), she told something like "we are not very far" with the implied meaning that parting ways was a possibility at this point. I told her joking to come with me in front of my building because I wasn't sure I won't get lost.
In front of my building she was talking about something and I made her keep talking by asking questions about her story. I lead her inside the building and I keep asking her questions when we go up the stairs until we were on my floor. I open the door and I made her enter first (I think this was a mistake, I should have entered first and keep having her following me).
I asked her if she wanted drink a glass of wine, she refused. I put some music and serve her a glass of water. I move closer to her while she was still standing (I realize, while writing this, that I didn't even offer her to sit down), and tried to put my hands around her waist and to kiss her at the same time. She declined while saying:
I am sorry if there is any kind of misunderstanding but I want nothing more
We both sat down. I try to look unaffected and start to talk about random stuff instead. But I understood quickly that she had ordered an Uber. She asked me when I was leaving, I told her in about 10 days, she told me "so I have still one week to make you drunk" implying that we might see each other again. Not sure if this was just to stay polite, or if this was a real intention. I leaning towards the first option. The Uber quickly arrived, we both say each other we had a great evening, and she leaved.
I didn't write her anything the days after, and neither did she. We never talked again.
-------------------------------------------------------
I think my main mistakes were :
- Trying to pull only after 1h30 of meeting her. It is a recurring mistake of mine. It was after that date that I finally consciously understood that I systematically try to pull too early
- I did not convey my intent clearly: Every opportunities that I had to convey a clear intent with words, I choose a "safer" (and more lame) path with a wording more neutral and ambiguous. The "safer" wording may protect me against resistance from the girls and act as a kind of rejection buffer, but it doesn't help me to get laid. Overall I should learn do push/pull better to increase the sexual tension.
- I did not physically escalated: When I had an obvious spot of physical escalation, I thought that since I was going for a pull this would be better "to stay under the radar". But if it is good to not go for a kiss before a pull to not trigger her ASD, this is bad to not physically escalate at all. I really should learn to get physical/sexual in a smooth way
- I escalated way too early at my place, we hadn't spend 5 minutes inside that I went for the kiss.
I pulled her at my place in a kind of sneaky way, and I didn't convey a lot of intent all along. So I am not sure that even if I had waited longer at my place before escalating it would have changed something. But it might have.
I am not sure what she was thinking when she told me at the restaurant that I could go with her and her friend at the nightclub the night after (and also before she leaved, that we had still one week to meet again "to make me drunk"). Was she friendzoning me? Curious to hear some thoughts about that.
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