- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Hi guys,
So recently, I started going back to therapy in order to resolve a few personal issues of mine. One thing that came up was my dating life. I mentioned that I wasn't really satisfied with the women (or lack thereof) in my life. For that reason, I work on dating as a skill (I didn't mention the pickup community or GC or anything like that). His response was that therapeutically speaking, that's not a very good idea. In other words, having women in my life is not really a solution for the problem. The real problem is deeper than that. He mentioned that instead, it would be better for me to work on myself. That is to say, my beliefs, my sense of confidence/ self-worth, my outlooks, the way I think perceive and analyze things, other aspects of my life etc.
Why am I posting this here? Well the discussion I wanted to create was this:
A. Do you guys believe that working on and getting good at game as a skill is a solution to feelings of loneliness/girl-related depression? Or do we need to be ok with and live an overall happy single life before we even start trying to bring women into it? Furthermore, how practical is it to even bring women into our lives if we don't feel good about ourselves? Like, if I feel depressed or anxious or otherwise dissatisfied, and I don't take care of those things first, do I even have a real shot at creating the right vibe/energy/charisma to bring women into my life in the first place?
B. It seems that most of the stuff he mentioned about sense of self is what the pickup community would coin "inner game" something which is not talked about nearly as often as outer game here at girlschase. I know Chase mentions that he believes inner game develops through actions. That is, once I get good enough at outer game, the correct inner-game related mindsets will naturally come.
However, this does raise a certain concern of mine. To better understand it, lets imagine a man who is depressed/utterly hates himself/sees no worth in himself/has no self confidence etc. It seems very unlikely that such a man would ever bring himself to approach a women. But for the sake of example, lets say he does approach. Even if he would normally be a fantastic conversationalist, his mindsets about himself/ low self-confidence is likely to cause him to be stuck in his own head- inhibiting him from utilizing said conversation skills in the first place. Which would likely cause said approach to go nowhere. As long as he retains these negative mindsets, most all subsequent approaches are also likely to bring no results. Because of this, I feel like we might necessarily need to have our inner game taken care of...at least to some degree before it would be reasonable a goal for us to even start trying to apply the outer game principles taught here at GC. That is to say, once we are psychologically capable of taking the actions prescribed by GC, then yes, Chase is right. Stronger and better mindsets will develop as we get better at game as a skill. However, if we are psychologically incapable of taking said actions, all the outer game information/motivation in the world is useless to us.
Also, I feel that its possible that getting good at outer game will only create proper mindsets in the realm of seduction. But they may not transfer throughout our lifes as a whole. Whereas, I feel like working on inner game would be more applicable to anything we do in our lives.
To further illustrate, here's an example from my life: I'm a very good athlete. In most athletic events, I know I'm going to perform well. I know I can compete. In other words, I have the skill, I've done the "outer game" type stuff (i.e. I've hit the gym, I play a lot of sports, I work on my athleticism etc). So I naturally feel very confident about myself and my abilities in situations like these. But this confidence doesn't at all transfer to other areas of my life (such as dating).
Could working on game be the same way? What I mean is, could it be that It creates confidence/good mindsets, but only in the realm of seduction.
Because I know that if I work on myself as a person directly, instead of on a specific skill, my ability to "handle whatever life throws at me" will increase in all areas. Not in just one.
So recently, I started going back to therapy in order to resolve a few personal issues of mine. One thing that came up was my dating life. I mentioned that I wasn't really satisfied with the women (or lack thereof) in my life. For that reason, I work on dating as a skill (I didn't mention the pickup community or GC or anything like that). His response was that therapeutically speaking, that's not a very good idea. In other words, having women in my life is not really a solution for the problem. The real problem is deeper than that. He mentioned that instead, it would be better for me to work on myself. That is to say, my beliefs, my sense of confidence/ self-worth, my outlooks, the way I think perceive and analyze things, other aspects of my life etc.
Why am I posting this here? Well the discussion I wanted to create was this:
A. Do you guys believe that working on and getting good at game as a skill is a solution to feelings of loneliness/girl-related depression? Or do we need to be ok with and live an overall happy single life before we even start trying to bring women into it? Furthermore, how practical is it to even bring women into our lives if we don't feel good about ourselves? Like, if I feel depressed or anxious or otherwise dissatisfied, and I don't take care of those things first, do I even have a real shot at creating the right vibe/energy/charisma to bring women into my life in the first place?
B. It seems that most of the stuff he mentioned about sense of self is what the pickup community would coin "inner game" something which is not talked about nearly as often as outer game here at girlschase. I know Chase mentions that he believes inner game develops through actions. That is, once I get good enough at outer game, the correct inner-game related mindsets will naturally come.
However, this does raise a certain concern of mine. To better understand it, lets imagine a man who is depressed/utterly hates himself/sees no worth in himself/has no self confidence etc. It seems very unlikely that such a man would ever bring himself to approach a women. But for the sake of example, lets say he does approach. Even if he would normally be a fantastic conversationalist, his mindsets about himself/ low self-confidence is likely to cause him to be stuck in his own head- inhibiting him from utilizing said conversation skills in the first place. Which would likely cause said approach to go nowhere. As long as he retains these negative mindsets, most all subsequent approaches are also likely to bring no results. Because of this, I feel like we might necessarily need to have our inner game taken care of...at least to some degree before it would be reasonable a goal for us to even start trying to apply the outer game principles taught here at GC. That is to say, once we are psychologically capable of taking the actions prescribed by GC, then yes, Chase is right. Stronger and better mindsets will develop as we get better at game as a skill. However, if we are psychologically incapable of taking said actions, all the outer game information/motivation in the world is useless to us.
Also, I feel that its possible that getting good at outer game will only create proper mindsets in the realm of seduction. But they may not transfer throughout our lifes as a whole. Whereas, I feel like working on inner game would be more applicable to anything we do in our lives.
To further illustrate, here's an example from my life: I'm a very good athlete. In most athletic events, I know I'm going to perform well. I know I can compete. In other words, I have the skill, I've done the "outer game" type stuff (i.e. I've hit the gym, I play a lot of sports, I work on my athleticism etc). So I naturally feel very confident about myself and my abilities in situations like these. But this confidence doesn't at all transfer to other areas of my life (such as dating).
Could working on game be the same way? What I mean is, could it be that It creates confidence/good mindsets, but only in the realm of seduction.
Because I know that if I work on myself as a person directly, instead of on a specific skill, my ability to "handle whatever life throws at me" will increase in all areas. Not in just one.
