A Passionless Start

[Bboy100]

Hey guys,

So I recently kinda started seeing this new girl. There are a few red flags with her, so I'm not sure how serious I'm going to get with her until I get to know her better (not the topic of this thread, so I won't bother elaborating right now).

But one major difference between her and every other girl I've dated is that I feel like there's no spark. Yes, there's a mutual attraction. But in the past, I kinda felt like it was "on" from the start. I almost instantly fell for the girls I dated. It felt like a rush. Being around those girls felt almost like I was on some sort of drug. With this girl, it just feels kinda "meh". Not that I'm not into her, but it just doesn't feel as intense as it has in the past.

Should I take this into account? Or is it mostly irrelevant to what the quality of the relationship will be like down the road?

 

[mindful]

I've been in this situation before.

On one hand, it doesn't give you the anxiety and stress to wonder what she is doing all the time or if she is truly into you because you don't feel that strong spark and she doesn't give you the typical "feels". This is also amplified if you know the girl likes you more than you her... which leads to a comfort and relief.

However, I feel like I was always looking out for "the next best thing" when with a girl like this. Like, am i really settling for a girl that I'm not super into or feel that "spark" for?

In any case, I don't think it's a bad position to be in and could possibly be quite healthy for a LTR or at least keeping it non-exclusive as long as possible until "the talk". You do say there are some red flags with her, so DEFINITELY slow play it and continue to see how it plays out before making an end all be all decision with her.

 

[Sandman]

By serious do you mean monogamous? If so, yeah definitely take that into account. There's no reason at all to settle for a girl you're not crazy about. She might be hotness reincarnated but if you don't get the "rush" what's the point? Listen to your instincts