FU A pitiful day of approach anxiety, *really* chasing a girl, and screwing up

[Ryan]

I feel a bit depressed on this one. Obviously, i'm a beginner here, so i have much improving to do, but wow, did i mess this up! Not because of what i did do, but (mainly) what i didn't do. Every time i feel approach anxiety again, i will think back to this moment.

After a hard, tiring day of university today, i sat on the public bus and went home. My stop was quite a distance from the inner city, so lots of people got off while i was left. Midway during the journey, there was about 4 people on the lower deck of the bus. An old granny, a middle aged woman and man, and myself.

However, at one stop, a gorgeous looking woman came onto the bus. She seemed about 23-25 years old (i'm 19, but most people think i look about 22 because of my facial hair). When she came on, our eyes met and held for a while and we had *that* connection. When you can feel something between you and her, and a warm feeling comes to the heart. And when she saw me, she came and sat next to me! This was when there were about 15 other seats available (and a completely empty row right in front of me). This is odd, because in most western countries, people would avoid coming within a meter of each other on a public transport if they can help it. So i felt she liked me too.

And there i was, as the sun set on the horizon and the night approaching, wondering what the hell i need to do. The most beautiful woman i've seen all week was sitting next to me, likely interested. I was speechless. She sat there texting with her dainty little hands most of the journey, so my mind rationalised i should leave her be and not disturb her, as she was apparently busy texting. I sat there for about 5 minutes, waiting for the perfect opportunity to come, for her to put down her phone and for me to gather up my courage.

But while i was in my own little world in doing so, paralyzed with approach anxiety to actually say something, i was too distracted to look out the window. I suddenly saw a set of traffic lights in front of me. My home is beside a pair of traffic lights, so i thought this was my stop! I turned to the girl, who turned to me before i could say anything.

Me: "Um..Excuse me.."
Her: "Oh! Sorry".

I got past her, cursing my cowardice, and left the bus. As soon as i did, i thought to myself "what the hell have i done?!!". Not just because i mistakenly got off the wrong stop 3 miles away from my home (because i was too focused on her to look outside), but mainly because i let such a gorgeous woman slip through my grasp.

So, what could i do? I thought that 1% of success was better than no chance if success, so i ran after the bus. Not just to tell him i got off at the wrong stop, but to get back on the bus and talk to the beautuful woman!

I ended up running about 3/4 of a mile before i vomited in the bushes after running so quickly straight after eating a meal.

I ran about 1/2 a mile more with a sore stomach and an acidic, sickly taste in my mouth. I eventually caught up with the bus. She wasn't there anymore. I didn't feel like getting a bus anymore, and walked the remaining 2 miles back home.

After that, i will never let approach anxiety ruin my chances again.


One more fuck up today before i end this post.

This morning, i had a hot chocolate in starbucks. As you do in starbucks, you give the guy at the counter your name so he can write it on the cup and call out your name when it's done. When i called out my name, the girl behind me called out hers. Her name was 'Ling'. She was very, very cute and pretty, and as i already had a friend called Ling, i realised she must be chinese. That was my 'cold reading/assumption' of her, which was reasonable, especially as i knew a lot about the chinese culture and had Chinese neighbors.
So, i asked her about her 'pretty name', and asked if she was Chinese.

Her: "No, i'm not Chinese. I'm Thai."
Me: "Oh! Umm..." (That totally ruined my foundations of the conversation).

A few seconds past while i was frantically searching my head for something to say, but nothing good came.

Me: "What's your english name?"
Her: "Rose"
Me: "That's a pretty name!"
Her: "Thank you!"
Me: "Well, my name is Ryan. Nice to meet you"
Her: "Nice to meet you too."

So after the worst and the most awkward conversation ever, it was a bit of a blur what happened after. I still don't know myself what happened, or who ended the concersation first. She seemed to go straight out the cafe in 1 second flat, and i returned back to my table at the same time, feeling a bit frustrated with myself. Which was a shame, because at the beginning, i could see though her eyes and smole that she was open and interested in being approached by me. But i let her down.

Buf all in all, i regret the apprach i 'didn't' take most, rather than the one that went wrong.

 

[Michael]

Re: FU: A pitiful day of approach anxiety, *really* chasing a girl, and screwing

I feel you buddy. Don't worry about that girl, there'll be a lot more, hotter girls in the future. And now you have a painful memory to motivate you to get better.

Cheers

Michael

 

[timeksis]

Re: FU: A pitiful day of approach anxiety, *really* chasing a girl, and screwing

Ryan , I feel your pain too , brother

I'm also 19 and I was always the shy kid in high school . I only had 1 girlfriend when I was at 13 and their no words to express the feeling of love but we eventually broke up 3 month later . I'm been avoiding talking to women throughout the years until , I had to stop and rethink the path of my life . I thought to myself , if I don't start interacting with women now , I'm going to be a wrinkly old man and die soon alone and worst of all fail to interact with other species . So I started putting a lot of effort into studying this game and just keep going out .

Even thought , I been out many times (roughly 10 times ), this approach anxiety , is a big killer . It's like been sucked by a vampire until your body has only few blood of drops left. If this isn't the killer then its the conversation . I been reading a lot of articles on how to overwhelming this fear but once an opportunity present itself, the anxiety just rolls back , like mini devil just appears on the right of your shoulder and all you want to say to him is " F@ck off " .

I was out yesterday and I saw this , beautiful , European girl , still in high school , she had a face of an angel, walking down the stair coming to my platform at the train station . This particular girl was so beautiful , I would marry her straight away and let her have my child . The train came and I followed her through into the carriages and sat down next to her . I tried really hard to not look at her . I wanted to ask where she was going but I just couldn't . So we got out of the platform together and walked down the ramps . While we were walking down , I really , really , wanted to talk to her but I just couldn't so she headed to the exit out of the station and , I couldn't get out my ticket in time so , she was gone .

Because I let her walk away from my life . At that moment she left out of the exit . My heart was hurting so bad , it felt like someone just stabbed my heart . If you saw me that day , you would be like " shit , bro , did someone die ? " .

Ryan , I believe we will achieve our goals as long as we keep going . This is the most hardest game on earth and if we don't keep going , our time on earth is going to expire soon and all we have left is just memories of what we could have done with those gorgeous women . I was reading an article the other day on how to overcome anxiety and it stated "8 out of 10 men have approach anxiety " . So if we think it this way , not many people practice this sort of skill or maybe they do but they don't have the required knowledge to take it all the way and seeing we are learning from Chase , we are head of the game and as Chase states " it's faster to learn from someone whos natural then someone who learning " .

We will succeed Ryan and everyone but their no doubt it's going to be a bumpy roller coaster ride.