anyone ever meet a girl and it just never gets off the ground from the very beginning?
I did a non-traditional meet up with a girl over the weekend where I was visiting a different city. She knew I was visiting so we planned to go biking for a little bit and then grabbed drinks, dinner, and walked around some more. We basically planned to spend the day together, and then depending how it went I was going to try and stay at her place or just go meet up with my friend who I was staying with.
However, from the moment I met her… it was just kind of awkward and weird. Now, I’ve been on a lot of dates, and my fundamentals are pretty solid… not a pro but my success with dating thus far proves that I know what I am doing for the most part.
We meet at the ferry and she is sitting on a bench. I casually walk up to her and greet her. She doesn’t get up off the bench or anything to greet me but just like sits there… lol. I sit down next to her after a moment and then give her a standard hug like I usually do when I meet women on dates.
After that we get up to catch the ferry and this girl isn’t even walking beside me… she is like 5 ft in front of me. She looks back at one point and I’m just sort of smiling to myself at how this girl’s actions are. We eventually get on the ferry and are seated waiting for it to take off. We are sitting side-by-side but she doesn’t really look at me. I begin talking, asking her questions and such, flirting the best I can which does get her smiling and laughing but she still doesn’t really look at me. When she does look at me it’s only for like a brief second.
So a quick recap so far - this girl is pretty standoffish from the very beginning. Her effort into the interaction is pretty minimal and I have to do a lot of heavy lifting to keep the convos going.
When we get to where we are going we walk to get the bikes. We have convo during this as well but it’s more or less the same, we talk but she doesn’t really look at me. When we get the bikes and start riding we are beside each other going at a slow pace. I make conversation as we ride too, ask her about her childhood and some other stuff. After like 20 mins of riding I tell her we should go grab a drink, I really wanted one at that point and also wanted to close the proximity between us.
We go to the bar area which over looks the bed of water. We still on the stools at the bar and order. We talk some more about different topics - dating, life, etc. She looks at me a little more here but it’s still not a lot where you feel like you are in a bubble with someone and they are interested in you.
After a drink we leave and return the bikes and get back on the ferry. I tell her we can go grab food or just end it right here. I told her not to feel obligated to continue hanging out with me and that I can just go meet up with my friend. She says she would like to grab dinner with me so thats what we do.
At dinner we are sitting face-to-face so she looks at me a lot more. Convo gets more interesting but at one point she mentions that “we would make good friends” and also another comment when we were talking about dating how she has never had a ONS. Then she thinks some more and said that she did but it once because she was really physically attracted to him from the start and that the chemistry was there or something. She then asks me how my dates usually go and how they end. I jokingly tell her they usually end with the girl in my bed. She laughs and says something but I can’t remember what. She then talks about only being super physically attracted to like 4 guys in the past 5 years or something. She only mentions this because I tease her about not looking at me much and also not being receptive to my touch. So she says that she doesn't like to touch a guy when she first meets him unless she is super physically attracted to him.
I’m pretty much over this girl at this point. She has already indirectly told me that she basically has no interest in me as a romantic option. I’ve only stayed this long because my friend wasn’t available til later in the evening.
Also, on the date I learn that she was seeing a guy on and off for like a year and a half and that ended. And that she took a break from dating for a bit and has only been on the apps for a month or so. It doesn’t seem to be going well from the dates she’s been on. As we are walking around after dinner we are just talking some more, and she tells me “you just wonder when you’re going to get that feeling for a guy again”. Which again, was another indirect jab at me lol. She also mentions “timing” and how “timing is also very important. I don’t think Im at a place now to have a relationship” or something like that. All the classic lines girls say ya know? lol.
Anyways, we end up parting ways and when I look down at my phone I had some tinder messages from this other girl I was talking to. She wanted to meet up with me that evening for drinks - if only I would have checked my phone 2 hrs earlier…
Writing this was kind of painful honestly, this was one of the worst meet ups i’ve been on lol.
I guess my only question is how can a girl be like this right at the start? Her investment in me was so low. It’s not like I cat-fished her or anything. Even early on in the date, I asked her if I looked like my pics - and she said I did and that it’s hard for a guy not to look like his pics where as a girl can look different because of make-up and such.
I also knew beforehand that she wasn’t “looking for a hookup” but then again, a lot of girls say that so I never even really flinch when this is said.
Is this girl in the minority where she really cares about looks more than other girls and she wasn't into me from the moment she saw me? Because honestly, I never even had a chance, and it's not like im socially awkward or anything.
cheers!
I did a non-traditional meet up with a girl over the weekend where I was visiting a different city. She knew I was visiting so we planned to go biking for a little bit and then grabbed drinks, dinner, and walked around some more. We basically planned to spend the day together, and then depending how it went I was going to try and stay at her place or just go meet up with my friend who I was staying with.
However, from the moment I met her… it was just kind of awkward and weird. Now, I’ve been on a lot of dates, and my fundamentals are pretty solid… not a pro but my success with dating thus far proves that I know what I am doing for the most part.
We meet at the ferry and she is sitting on a bench. I casually walk up to her and greet her. She doesn’t get up off the bench or anything to greet me but just like sits there… lol. I sit down next to her after a moment and then give her a standard hug like I usually do when I meet women on dates.
After that we get up to catch the ferry and this girl isn’t even walking beside me… she is like 5 ft in front of me. She looks back at one point and I’m just sort of smiling to myself at how this girl’s actions are. We eventually get on the ferry and are seated waiting for it to take off. We are sitting side-by-side but she doesn’t really look at me. I begin talking, asking her questions and such, flirting the best I can which does get her smiling and laughing but she still doesn’t really look at me. When she does look at me it’s only for like a brief second.
So a quick recap so far - this girl is pretty standoffish from the very beginning. Her effort into the interaction is pretty minimal and I have to do a lot of heavy lifting to keep the convos going.
When we get to where we are going we walk to get the bikes. We have convo during this as well but it’s more or less the same, we talk but she doesn’t really look at me. When we get the bikes and start riding we are beside each other going at a slow pace. I make conversation as we ride too, ask her about her childhood and some other stuff. After like 20 mins of riding I tell her we should go grab a drink, I really wanted one at that point and also wanted to close the proximity between us.
We go to the bar area which over looks the bed of water. We still on the stools at the bar and order. We talk some more about different topics - dating, life, etc. She looks at me a little more here but it’s still not a lot where you feel like you are in a bubble with someone and they are interested in you.
After a drink we leave and return the bikes and get back on the ferry. I tell her we can go grab food or just end it right here. I told her not to feel obligated to continue hanging out with me and that I can just go meet up with my friend. She says she would like to grab dinner with me so thats what we do.
At dinner we are sitting face-to-face so she looks at me a lot more. Convo gets more interesting but at one point she mentions that “we would make good friends” and also another comment when we were talking about dating how she has never had a ONS. Then she thinks some more and said that she did but it once because she was really physically attracted to him from the start and that the chemistry was there or something. She then asks me how my dates usually go and how they end. I jokingly tell her they usually end with the girl in my bed. She laughs and says something but I can’t remember what. She then talks about only being super physically attracted to like 4 guys in the past 5 years or something. She only mentions this because I tease her about not looking at me much and also not being receptive to my touch. So she says that she doesn't like to touch a guy when she first meets him unless she is super physically attracted to him.
I’m pretty much over this girl at this point. She has already indirectly told me that she basically has no interest in me as a romantic option. I’ve only stayed this long because my friend wasn’t available til later in the evening.
Also, on the date I learn that she was seeing a guy on and off for like a year and a half and that ended. And that she took a break from dating for a bit and has only been on the apps for a month or so. It doesn’t seem to be going well from the dates she’s been on. As we are walking around after dinner we are just talking some more, and she tells me “you just wonder when you’re going to get that feeling for a guy again”. Which again, was another indirect jab at me lol. She also mentions “timing” and how “timing is also very important. I don’t think Im at a place now to have a relationship” or something like that. All the classic lines girls say ya know? lol.
Anyways, we end up parting ways and when I look down at my phone I had some tinder messages from this other girl I was talking to. She wanted to meet up with me that evening for drinks - if only I would have checked my phone 2 hrs earlier…
Writing this was kind of painful honestly, this was one of the worst meet ups i’ve been on lol.
I guess my only question is how can a girl be like this right at the start? Her investment in me was so low. It’s not like I cat-fished her or anything. Even early on in the date, I asked her if I looked like my pics - and she said I did and that it’s hard for a guy not to look like his pics where as a girl can look different because of make-up and such.
I also knew beforehand that she wasn’t “looking for a hookup” but then again, a lot of girls say that so I never even really flinch when this is said.
Is this girl in the minority where she really cares about looks more than other girls and she wasn't into me from the moment she saw me? Because honestly, I never even had a chance, and it's not like im socially awkward or anything.
cheers!
