Socializing A Social Circle Issue

[Bboy100]

Ok so, I have this group of friends who I've known literally my whole life (since age 3 or 4). Even though I don't see them that much anymore, and they don't do anything particularly high value (for lack of better way to describe it), I wouldn't trade them for the world. They're like family to me. Everyone else in my life is replaceable as far as I'm concerned, but they're not.

Anyways, when we were kids ages (5-16ish), I was the undeniable leader of said social circle. Anything I said went. It was almost like I was the leader of a gang or mafia or something. No one even questioned what I said. They just went with it.

I have one friend in the group who ended up being kind of a natural with girls in HS (while the rest of us more or less remained virgins well until after we graduated.). After he allegedly lost his virginity, he mostly stopped hanging out with us and instead opted to spend time with his friends from HS. But he did keep in contact. More specifically, he spent some time with the current leader of social circle (who is no longer me). As time went by,
A. The natural friend of mine lost some respect for me, then grew to resent me. The reason for this is still unknown to me to this day.
B. After he graduated HS, he came back to hanging out with us. I'm guessing he largely lost contact with his HS social circle.

He's never said why he dislikes me, never straight up insulted me, in fact, he's never even brought it up. But, he always has this really passive aggressive behavior towards me. Like, anytime I say something, he'll respond with a super condescending voice and/or give me the skeptical or bored look. Also, there's an undeniable tension between us. Although I'm not sure if anyone else in the group recognizes it.

Also, he's the roomate of the guy who is now leader of our social circle. Whereas I'm only here during the summer (rest of the time, I'm in school with an entirely different social circle). So naturally, I have far less influence over what goes on. Lately, I've noticed that I haven't been getting invited to a lot of the things they're doing. I'm guessing he has something to do with it. Although I can't conclusively confirm or deny this.

Despite everything, if I was given the choice, I'd prefer to remain friends with him. But ultimately, cutting him out would be no problem for me. What's important to me is that I stay a part of this Social Circle. I have no problem confronting him if need be. I'm just afraid that if I called him out on his shit, he'd just give me the skeptical look, laughs/shrug and I'd look retarded. So basically, he'd do the same thing we're taught to do to disruptive men. lol.

Honestly, it wouldn't hurt my life that much to cut them all out entirely. But they've been my bros for literally longer than I can remember. So I'm having a really hard time letting go.
Advice?

 

[Troy]

Bboy,

There's no need to cut them out of your life, even that natural friend who is giving you a bad vibe. The best thing you can do right now is ignore his " behavior " and focus on adding loads of value to the group. You don't need to compete with anyone to bring the energy but you should bring the energy.

Get one on one time with others in the group and make sure they have a good time. Despite how he behaves just continue to be cool. Win over everyone with charm.

Any other details? How's it been since? I saw this post has been here for a while and I'd been meaning to get to it from last week.

Troy

 

[Bboy100]

I got together with all of them minus the natural friend a few more times since. I also brought him up one time asking if they think/have noticed him resenting me for any reason. And they say they haven't even noticed the behavior. Also, just by hanging out with them, I can tell they're very busy with summer jobs/activities.

But other than that, I haven't really seen them much since the start of the summer. And I'm going back to school in a week or so. I still can't tell for sure if I'm not being invited to stuff they're doing or if they're just not doing anything in the first place. What I can say is that any time I ask them to hang out I either get no reply or no as an answer.

Having said that, I'm starting to think the guy I was talking about isn't even all that relevant. I definitely still believe he resents me/has some sort of issue with me, but I doubt he's influencing the group dynamic as a whole very much at all. Moreover, I've changed a lot in the past year (in a positive way). I wouldn't say that I'm so different that we have different values/goals, so I feel like I still provide the right kind of value. But maybe there's some other change which negatively impacts the group which I'm not noticing. Its also a very real possibility that they're just not doing anything/are too busy with work etc.

In any case, there's not really much I can do about it now that my time in the Seattle area is pretty much done.

here's no need to cut them out of your life, even that natural friend who is giving you a bad vibe. The best thing you can do right now is ignore his " behavior " and focus on adding loads of value to the group. You don't need to compete with anyone to bring the energy but you should bring the energy.

Get one on one time with others in the group and make sure they have a good time. Despite how he behaves just continue to be cool. Win over everyone with charm.

Still though, this is just generally good advice in terms of social circle. And I'm definitely looking to figure out how to start building connections/using my college environment to my advantage. So this is still appreciated.