accept IM friend request from a friend's girl?

[lao che]

met this couple in summertime. friends of friends. hung out a few times since then at various parties or events. i'm not really friends with them, just share the same social group.
there's a IM group chat which we are part of but the girl (who looks very slutty ... the BF is cool but ... doesn't seem the kind of guy to be able to handle a hardcore slut. still that's just judging books by covers) sent me a friend request several months ago. i immediately thought - she wants to fuck me. maybe i'm too arrogant.
i ignored the request. never mentioned it to anyone. i thought that was the best course.

last night they had a party. at one point the girl cornered me and asked why i never added her. i chatted for a minute. i definitely think there was a sexy vibe going on. she insisted i add her. my objections -

"friends really? ...."
"what we gonna talk about on IM? shopping and fashion?"
"what would your BF think about that? i'm not even friends with him on chat ... "

etc.

she had no real answers, just "well, we can still be friends even if we don't talk i still want you in my list of friends"

i can't see any good coming from it.. i should probably continue to ignore her. what you think?

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

She sounds like she is a person who wants a high number of friend on her list so she can brag about it. I would tell her I am not interested and not add her.

SGent.

 

[lao che]

Then I'm not very good at making a point. She's supposed to sound like a naughty naughty little girl who is looking for some extra-relationship filthy fun with a sexy and discreet gentleman

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

I see. So we are really talking about fucking her and the IM is just a watered down representation of what is going on. Well that opens two whole discussions. First, how is it going to affect your social circle if you get caught having some naughty fun. I am less concerned about her BF because you aren't close with him and he probably knows she is after other guys. I am more concerned with the ramifications with your good friends in the circle. Is it worth screw this up? Do your friends already expect you to be a player and won't care? Is she worth the blow back if there is any? You seem to be getting along pretty well with the ladies. Do you need the drama?

The second discussion is your morality on sleeping with women who are in an LTR. Even though I come across as not giving a shit I do have lines I don't cross. Where do you draw the line? Even if you have hard lines they can become blurred as you get to know her better. How often does the bro code get broken by good friend? So you have to decide how you will feel about yourself if you sleep with her.

I don't have a hard answer for you because this is really a moral decision you have to make for yourself. That said I think you have enough abundance to pass.

SGent

 

[lao che]

well, these are all appropriate questions, but none i have given much thought to as i never intended to sleep with her. if i had, it would have been done already. (although, i hadn't realized until the party how hot she actually is ,-)

anyway,as you said, i don't need this girl at all.i do have moral standards, and the fallout would be impossible to recover from.
i already have something of a reputation amongst my friends (as a player not a stealer of girls), thanks in large part to one particular big-mouthed jealous dude who cannot see me even saying hi to any female without announcing to the room that i'm hitting on another girl. as a result of that i avoid talking directly to all of my friends' girls, except for polite pleasantries or when in a group.
also, as you said, lines get blurred as you get to know each other better, and i don't want to facilitate that process by being "friends" with this girl. i mean, literally the only reason we would have for chatting would be to hook up. as we all know girls and boys are never actually friends, and if anyone still doesn't realized that then go read theladdertheory.com

but now there's this awkwardness where she's called me out and, really, i have no solid reason not to add her, but i believe she has bad intentions, i don't trust her and don't trust myself to not play with fire, should it come to that.