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"Accidental" indirect-direct opener

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,539
Hey guys, here is a new opening idea I want to try; I'll field test it and report back here, but if the more experienced folks have any pointers for me, I'll be appreciative :) ... This is really for where they may have been an Approach Invitation but I'm unsure, and there is no situational context, say, she's not wearing anything interesting I can compliment, and I've either missed the window for a more usual opener or it would feel awkward.

If she's likely to move in my direction, for example, I was right ahead of her in the grocery store checkout, I head for the exit, browse some free magazines or coupon leaflets, perhaps kneeling/crouching to check out a lower shelf, then I monitor her approach with my peripheral vision, and just as she's about to walk past behind me, I get up backwards and "accidentally" obstruct her, or knock her cart, or something. This is my opener:

"Oh, I'm SO sorry, that was TERRIBLY clumsy of me!" but said with non-apologetic body language and total confidence, so it's an obvious fakeout: full-on eye contact, raised eyebrows, half-pursed lips with a hint of an impudent smile: a real "act". Then hopefully, she smiles or even starts laughing, and I go direct: "Wow... you have such a lovely smile. I'm Marty" ...and we're into normal game.

The same can probably be done in the bookstore or other environments where you can make a pretty good guess at a girl's future trajectory.

Thoughts? improvements?
 

Richard

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 1, 2013
Messages
1,819
Interesting in theory, and I believe you should field test and report it back.
As far as flaws go, it has a couple stretches, such as:
-Being a little too try hard
-Romanticized by movies
-Expectancy Failure

-----In the "try hard" aspect, you're exerting a little too much effort especially after having missed a plausible opportunity/ failure to approach. If she was indeed sending you approach signals and you didn't approach her, then try to make up for that failure, you're definitely chasing her, and she'll likely know it, then she'll be able to control the flow of the conversation regardless of how the "post-accident" opener goes.

-----Romanticized by movies --> By this I mean, you always see this in movies (an accident leading to a long relationship/fling) and in general, movies over-exaggerate realistic outcomes. Because you, and by you I don't mean "Marty" but people in general, see this work in movies they assume that it is plausible, and in some very rare cases it is possible, but in general your "plan" doesn't go through as you envision, which leads me to point #3.

-----Expectancy Failure --> By this I mean, your plan doesn't go as you think. You're entire game plan is based on a positive reaction after your "accident," so what happens if she is instead aggressive in her response? Instead of smiling or laughing, what if she is angry, hostile, or recollects herself and simply walks out. This actually is a little more likely because you failed to approach her when she was sending you the signals to, so when you try and redeem yourself, she'll likely have nothing to do with it.

Improvements: Don't create an "act" to redeem yourself as, it has too many possible repercussions without a huge chance of success. Instead, stick to a direct game anyway, as she walks past, get her attention verbally like
"Hey, I saw you walking and couldn't help but notice how cute you are. Before I lost the chance, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Marty."
Then continue your game as usual.
-I hope this helped,
Richard
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Marty

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,539
Hey Zphix

Thanks for the detailed analysis, that's a really great job.

I find it particularly enlightening because it accurately captures exactly the sort of backwards female logic that I am struggling to get a handle on, viz., if I missed an approach window and then try to recover it (a) means I am somehow chasing and (b) may even make her angry. I've somehow contrived to spend 37 years on this Earth without ever realizing or even imagining that women might think like this; it took explanations from MEN (on this website) to ram it home.

Shows the value of coupling practical experience with enlightened tuition and guidance. A heartfelt "thank you".

-Marty
 
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