Advanced Advice Wanted

[Rakehell]

Hey fellas, I need some advice on this situation. I’ve been in a one year LTR with this girl, and all has been well overall.

I’ve been constantly leveling up, and even reached some internal breakthroughs thanks to some therapy that has drastically changed my bandwidth.

This involves what I want in life and who in a visceral kind of way.

I’ve always had pull but I feel like my orbit has expanded exponentially, especially in the last two months, I have girls walking up to me, opening me, trying to escalate things with me, even on days when i’m tired or indifferent, all while my girl gets clingier and needier.

Any kind of problem, or thing that I find distasteful, that she causes, causes me to look at her sideways in my mind.

Some weeks ago she was testing me pretty hard and I lost patience and phased her out. The same night after several calls etc to no avail, she showed up at my house at 3 in the morning. No way home, hoping I was awake and would let her in.

I’ve lost patience with her, which is deadly and brings me to the real issue:

I’m not sure what to do with this relationship, I’ve given her a year of romance and experiences that she’ll probably never get anywhere else.

In turn she’s willing to go to hell and back for me. But a part of me feels like i’ve outgrown her, and who I was at the beginning of the relationship isn’t the same person today.

There is no way getting around her being crushed if I were to cut things clean, but I am not as fulfilled being with her as I used to be.

The way I see it I can either: clunker down and be unfulfilled, sneak around on her, or cut it clean and allow her to deal with the aftermath. I don’t see any kind of negotiating a polygamous relationship going over well, she might agree but would definitely burn out shortly and would just prolong breaking up.

Morally I feel responsible for what happens next and i’m stuck on what the right thing to do here is.

Thanks!

 

[Skills]

Break Ups - The different ways to break up....

One of the guys in my crew wants to break up, and ask how to? I realize there is not a decent guide on how to break up, most kind of weak that i read or ramblings.... I kind of like Neil one at the end credit @Dreamer going to post later.... Now i am going to post different ones, even dark ones...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Chase]

@Rakehell,

The frame needs to be that you are telling her honestly where you are at and that you are trying to avoid hurting her.

Along the lines of (but put it in your own words), "I care about you so much and you are so wonderful and amazing. But I feel myself pulling away and I also find my eye wandering more and more to other girls. I know for a fact if we stay together I am going to hurt you. You do not deserve that; you are so great. You need a guy who can be the man you want him to be, and I am 100% confident now that that is not me."

Your internal frame should be "I am 100% going to fuck other girls and I am trying to exit the relationship gracefully before I really hurt this poor girl."

She will then go through the bargaining stage: "Can't we find a way to make it work? What if we do X? What if I do Y?"

All you have to do is hold the frame: "We can do that, but I am still going to end up fucking other girls. I know myself. I don't want to hurt you. You don't deserve that. But I can't control it forever."

At that point you may get "the proposition" (where she tells you "Let's stay together and if you sleep with other girls, I just don't want to know"). It is worth thinking a bit in advance about if that is what you really want here though -- I would say from the sound of it still no. You don't seem to value this girl enough as a girlfriend anymore (as much as you may care about and respect her as a wonderful person). Once you are taking other girls sooner or later you will find another one you like more as a girlfriend than this one and you will want to promote her over this one. Then it gets really messy.

If you do not want to keep her as your main girl (and I do not think it sounds like you should; but you need to consider that for yourself), then you just need to tell her, "No, I can't let you do that. I know you are saying that because you're looking for a way to keep it going, but you are just going to get hurt. You deserve a guy who can be all yours, and I know you can find that. I don't want you to spend a year or two with me getting hurt and then end up in the same place, still split up. I just can't do that to you. I need to set you free."

(Or she may not propose the "I don't want to know" solution, in which case the break is much cleaner and you don't even have to worry about whether you want to entertain the "permission to take girls on the side" offer.)

Good luck!

Chase