Advice for a newbie

[Anonymous]

Hi Chase and other relationship experts,

this girl I met and I and both asians(but from different countries) and we live in western countries.
I met her at a friend's party and had left a really good impression. She said she had no boyfriend so I started to date her and we slept together at our second date.
As things went well, after a few dates (every time we ended up sleeping together) I asked if she wanted to be my girlfriend at the end of our day trip.
But she said she broke up with her ex but is still having a complicated relationship with him so she didn't say yes or no. I kept cool and didn't bring up anything about relationship after that. From what I know they stayed together for about one year since last year and they are also interracial.

After that we had another two dates sleeping together but I became a bit "fully-commited" coz I really like her. I wanted to meet her regularly(twice a week) but on a saturday I insisted on inviting her for dinner, she sent me a long message late night saying she was arguing with her ex and she feels sorry that she can't have relationship with me. The next day I texted her asking if she wanted to catch up for a coffee but she replies "I have to apologise that I made you expect a lot, is it okay that we both think we had a sweet dream before?" Then I said something nice, backed off and stopped texting her, still leaving a chance to be friends (I think).

I know I am very inexperienced with women and my biggest mistake was taking it too seriously and pushing her a bit coz she seems really like me (but in this case she was also very sensitive). Things were really out of control I didn't even know what was going on on the background. Maybe she got back together with her ex.

I am happy to learn the lesson. Could someone give some sincere advice if I still have chance with this girl and is there anything I can do now or in the future?
Really appreciate your replies.

 

[Smith]

Hi there,

I had a similar experience early this year, and I was inexperienced as well.

It took me a week to get myself together. It made me realize how much work I still have to do, and I used that as my motivation to fully commit to seduction. So far, I think it was the best decision I ever made to just move on.

It's important to not feel bitter about this. Seek to understand. Why would a girl argue with her 'ex'? it means she still has feelings for him. Just understand that and realize it's best to let her go. She's probably an emotional mess right now. Even if you do manage to get into a relationship with her, you'll be handling a lot of drama with her ex....which is neither fun nor enjoyable and you'll feel insecure all the time.

Learn whatever lessons you can from this and screen better for girls you want to 'fully commit' with.

You could check in with her once in a while (every few months) to see if she's available but DO NOT wait for her. Meet as many girls as you can to improve yourself.

- Smith