Calls & Texts Advice: No Text Back Unique Situation

[Doughboy]

Just to premise I did read the article about when girls do not text back, but this situation is a little more unique and I would greatly appreciate any advice.

Some background info: I met this girl like 8 months ago through a mutual friend and we have always been friendly towards each other with no sexual advances from either. I went back to my hometown last Saturday for a college football game and ran into her that night. We danced at the bar all night and really clicked and after the bars were out her friend asked her if she was coming back with her and she said "I'm gonna go home with Doughboy" right in front of me and her friend. Long story short we hooked up all night and did the whole shebang, hung out a little the next morning, and then I proceeded to get her number after telling her we should hang out sometime and she should give me it.

Now I texted her today (3 days later) and still 5 hours later she hasn't responded. My text was: "Hey (girls name) I hope your week has gone well! Feel like mine's never going to end. Wanna grab a drink sometime this weekend?" I read all the articles about texting and followed all the guidelines (except maybe the asking the question one, but I didn't wanna beat around the bush and just ask her our as I did). I have a feeling she has seen it though because I saw she has tweeted since I sent that. Overall I'm not down or anything about it, but I'm just really confused. Sorry for the long-winded response but I would really appreciate any advice such as if she still doesn't respond then when should I and what should I say. I'm just really confused because this isn't some random girl I met, but a girl that I know decently well. Thanks!

-Doughboy

 

[Franco]

Doughboy,

First of all: calm down. It's only been 5 hours! That's nothing... as a matter of fact, I often won't respond to girls within a 6 or 7 hour period if I'm busy, and girls will often do the same. Girls can sometimes take several days to respond. Give her time to do that.

Anyway, with that being said, there are a couple of things I'd like to point out:

• 1) Whenever you bed a girl, you should absolutely text her sometime the next day. A girl's mind is usually racing the next day wondering whether or not you're going to text her because she'll be worried about whether or not you like her and whether or not she was "used" for sex. Sending her a pleasant text along the lines of, "hey Linda, I had a great time with you last night. Hope you did too! " should suffice. You can also throw a playful comment in there if you want to -- the point of the text is to show warmth afterwards so she doesn't feel bad about it.
  
  2) Never ask a girl for a "date" after you've slept with her. This is taking a step backwards. Why would you take her out for a "first date-like" drink when you two have already been intimate? This tells her that you actually want things to go backwards and be platonic, so she'll be confused (or possibly even saddened that you don't want to have sex with her again -- she might feel like she wasn't good enough).

So to sum things up, next time you bed a girl you want to see again, send her a warm text sometime the next day telling her you enjoyed your time together and arrange the next meet to be directly at your place so that she knows you want to be intimate with her again.

- Franco

 

[Doughboy]

Hey thanks for the response Franco it's greatly appreciated. I should have added that I actually did do what you said in (1). We sent a couple texts back and forth and I didn't push it so the convo wouldn't drag on and be boring. She did text me back today and told me she has a friend coming into town for the weekend but she would let me know what her plan was.

I'd like to pick your brain (or anyone else who has an opinion) about what you said in (2). Is it really that bad that I asked if she wanted to grab a drink? To me that seems like I'm showing interest and would like to spend more time with her. When we did bed this last weekend we were both intoxicated so I want to show her that I would like to hang out rather than just have her be a booty call or a f*** buddy so this is essentially why I asked her to go out for a drink rather than just coming to my place (if the night goes well than I was going to ask her that). Like I said she wasn't some rando I met, but rather someone I have known for a decent amount of time. Also, to be clear, I have absolutely 0 intentions in rushing anything and getting in a relationship right away. I'm definitely going to keep this very casual and see if there is any potential with this and at the same time let her know that sex isn't the only thing on my mind.

-Doughboy

 

[Franco]

DB,

Yeah, there was a point in time when I used to think like that too. You are still learning, young grasshoppa'!

Check out this article by Chase which will give you most of the details that you need to know about this subject:

Turn On Your Girlfriend With Raw Sexual Enthusiasm

- Franco