AFCnoob's Journal

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
One of my major stumbling blocks on the road to becoming more in control of my life is my tendency to ramble. Even sitting across from a legitimately hot girl who is eager to talk with me, I can start prattling on about some nonsense about myself. In addition to this, I also have some legitimate feelings and musings about this whole new PU thing that don't really belong in my PR's. I'll place them here in my journal thread under separate topics, just to get them out there so they're out of my head and so I stop boring my friends with them.

Feel free to ignore or respond, again, this is more just so I can get this stuff down somewhere.
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
The "Someone's Watching Us" Kiss Transition

I don't want this to come off as bragging/ego-stroking. Please understand that I'm usually very socially awkward and I suspect even a bit socially "retarded", so these interactions are so surprising to me, I feel like I just have to share them somewhere.

I was/am horrible at initiating kisses. I would actually get goofy (oooh, sexy) when trying to initiate a kiss. When I read about the "Someone's watching us" kiss transition, I thought it was just so plain silly and transparent that it would never work. Boy, was I wrong. Here are some examples from my life of it working like a charm:

[1] I got a lovely girl back to the park near my home, and I just couldn't make myself do it. So it went like this:

Me: "Yeah, I want to kiss you, but that security guard over there looks like he's watching us."

Her: "You think so?"

Me: "Yeah, it's probably the high point of his night--watching couples come here and make out, we should move over to that river over there." [guard is bored as hell and seated facing the opposite way]

Her: "What, so you can dump me in the riv---" [she didn't even finish her sentence, and actually initiated the kiss with me]


[2] I was talking to a girl, we were standing quite close at the bar, and I was getting a lot of IOI's but just didn't have the nerve:

Me: "I wanna kiss you, but that bartender over there looks like he's watching us..."

Her: "Who?" [turning to look]

Me: "That guy right there. Sure, he looks like he's just pouring a beer, but he's watching us..." [bartender is totally absorbed in...pouring a beer]

She just turned back to me and smiled, looking at my lips. I kissed her immediately.


[3] Again in a bar, talking with a girl who was throwing IOI's at me left and right and touching me a lot. Still the conversation was way too light, and I felt really awkward just putting my mouth on her, so:

Me: "Yeah, a lot of gay guys approach me, sometimes I've got to kiss a girl just to "get the gay off"*--matter of fact, I want to kiss you right now, but that bartender over there seems like he's watching us..."

Her: "What? Who?"

Me: "That guy right there, the one pouring the beer." [the guy is bored to tears pouring out the beer and not even glancing in our direction]

Her: "Well, he's not..."

I smile slowly and kiss her.
*no offense to gay guys, you're Awesome.

In retrospect, all of these girls were ready to kiss me right there and then. I probably didn't have to say a thing, and this was more about me just having the confidence to do it. Also for me at this early stage, starting with some tactic or trick makes me feel like I'm in control and moving things along at my pace. Also, I haven't run into rejection yet, but if and when I do this will at least help me save some face.

I've really come a long way though, more recently, I just moved in close with a girl and started glancing down at her lips. The second I saw her start doing the same, I kissed her.

Another, more harrowing interaction played out like this:

Her: "So, it seems like we've been through every conversation topic at least once."

Me: "Well, not every topic..."

Her: "What do you mean?"

Me: "Well, I've been thinking about kissing you all night."

Her: [flat stare, body language went from semi-neutral to neutral] "So what, am I supposed to have some sort of...reaction to that?"

Me: [I was sure I'd screwed it up, but rather than capitulate, I continued in a bored voice, mirroring her body language] "No, you're just supposed to sit there in an awkward silence..."

Then I held her chin kissed her. Not the smoothest transition, but in stark contrast to how I would have reacted just weeks earlier, I would have immediately backpedaled/shut down, and that door would have closed--probably for good. It's amazing how far a little experience and confidence go. I feel it's also important to note that this girl (for some silly reason) was actively trying to "play it cool" with me, and really, really wanted to kiss me from the start.
 

nino

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
126
Second post I read of you and another thing I learned. Sounds like a neat little trick, I'll keep it in mind for when I'm ready to actually use it!
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
@ nino: I "Someone's watching us" transitioned with another girl just tonight:

Me: "So you like big, obvious winks, you like to do stuff overtly?"

Her: "Yeah, I want everyone to know."

Me: "I'm more of a 'quick wink' kinda guy, I like to keep it covert. Like, you see that bartender over there, I really want to kiss you, but he's he's totally scoping us out."

Her: "What? No he's not."

I grin, and move in to kiss her. She holds back a bit, but then is completely into it.
 

nino

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
126
Nice one! I'm so eager to try that out. Now you know I'm not ready for the game day yet but I think it definitely might help me move faster in clubs. I'll keep you updated :)
 

Jeet02

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
112
Pretty interesting AFCnoob.

I dont mean to high-jack your thread, but since we are in this topic, I am guessing it is relevant. I always try to use something from the moment, seems to be the smoothest way to go about it. I will give you an example, the last girl I closed with (few weeks ago) we were talking during the night and for some reason we were talking about what she was good at. I dont remember what she was good at, point is, later in the night, I brought it back up, and asked her "so what else are you good at?" Gave her a few seconds to reply and then I said "Kissing? How good are you at kissing?" and she siad "pretty good actually" and the move after that was obvious.

So you could either try bringing what she is good at during conversation, and go for it right there, or after a while bring it up again (which will seem even more normal since you guys already talked about it before) and go for it. Or basically try to look for something that applies specifically to the situation, will make you seem smother in my opinion.

Another example of the "situation" is that I was talking to this girl and I noticed a freckle in her knee and I mentioned it. So we started talking about her freckle and then she pointed to one in her lip. And I said "I wonder what that one tastes like"...and went for it.

hope that helps a little! Keep up the great posts man!

-Jeet
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
Not at all, Jeet. Thanks for sharing some interesting stuff. Again, I think the really critical point is that both of those girls were already willing to kiss you because of things you'd done right before that point, but yeah, there's still the little matter of doing it smoothly, rather than awkwardly, which I think both of your examples accomplished rather well.
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
It's time to admit I have a problem...

(just talking to myself here) When you:

-Do something when you don't really want to

-Regret doing it later

-Lie to others about doing it

-Allow it to interfere with doing things you consider equally or more important

You are addicted. I'm letting this whole PU thing occupy a greater portion of my life than I should, and I need to relax/dial it back. Being committed to developing a hobby/skill is one thing, letting that thing interfere with work/relationships is another.

I almost didn't get up on time for work this morning because I just "had" to go out last night. My friend has a critical project he's working on that he wants my help on today, and I was seriously considering cancelling to try to go to an event that I got invited to last night (granted, it's Thanksgiving, but it's still a date).

I'm not even carefully setting up and monitoring my interactions any more. I'm just playing a silly game with myself called "how fast can I kiss this girl". And I'm just doing it because I didn't know I could, and now I can, but I'm not building a solid skills set or challenging myself properly. This means I'm putting in a lot of time, not getting the returns I want and it's starting to impact my life negatively to boot, which makes me--a fool.
 

Just_Dave

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
529
Hey AFCnoob,

I just stumbled upon your journal while scoping the forum. I have to say I find your interactions not only intriguing but also very informative. I'll have to try that little "looking" trick of yours.

Take care,

Just Dave
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
Thanks, at least someone is getting something out of them. I'm equally interested in reading and learning from the interactions of others.

Also: woah, woah! NOT my trick, I just use it. I read about it somewhere on the GC blog. There are a few posts on kissing (how to kiss/kissing for beginners, intermediate, and advanced, etc.), and you should read all of them.
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
I still feel bad...

I still think about [Kate], and even [Rose] wistfully, with feelings of guilt, I even wish that we had gone somewhere after all. I don't know if this is just because I'm too:

a) inexperienced
b) over emotional
c) just plain guilty

Or what. Maybe it will fade with time, maybe the real reason is because I feel I handled those interactions poorly, I dunno. But I still think about them from time to time...
 
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