The "Someone's Watching Us" Kiss Transition
I don't want this to come off as bragging/ego-stroking. Please understand that I'm usually very socially awkward and I suspect even a bit socially "retarded", so these interactions are so surprising to me, I feel like I just have to share them somewhere.
I was/am horrible at initiating kisses. I would actually get goofy (oooh, sexy) when trying to initiate a kiss. When I read about the "Someone's watching us" kiss transition, I thought it was just so plain silly and transparent that it would never work. Boy, was I wrong. Here are some examples from my life of it working like a charm:
[1] I got a lovely girl back to the park near my home, and I just couldn't make myself do it. So it went like this:
Me: "Yeah, I want to kiss you, but that security guard over there looks like he's watching us."
Her: "You think so?"
Me: "Yeah, it's probably the high point of his night--watching couples come here and make out, we should move over to that river over there." [guard is bored as hell and seated facing the opposite way]
Her: "What, so you can dump me in the riv---" [she didn't even finish her sentence, and actually initiated the kiss with me]
[2] I was talking to a girl, we were standing quite close at the bar, and I was getting a lot of IOI's but just didn't have the nerve:
Me: "I wanna kiss you, but that bartender over there looks like he's watching us..."
Her: "Who?" [turning to look]
Me: "That guy right there. Sure, he looks like he's just pouring a beer, but he's watching us..." [bartender is totally absorbed in...pouring a beer]
She just turned back to me and smiled, looking at my lips. I kissed her immediately.
[3] Again in a bar, talking with a girl who was throwing IOI's at me left and right and touching me a lot. Still the conversation was way too light, and I felt really awkward just putting my mouth on her, so:
Me: "Yeah, a lot of gay guys approach me, sometimes I've got to kiss a girl just to "get the gay off"*--matter of fact, I want to kiss you right now, but that bartender over there seems like he's watching us..."
Her: "What? Who?"
Me: "That guy right there, the one pouring the beer." [the guy is bored to tears pouring out the beer and not even glancing in our direction]
Her: "Well, he's not..."
I smile slowly and kiss her.
*no offense to gay guys, you're Awesome.
In retrospect, all of these girls were ready to kiss me right there and then. I probably didn't have to say a thing, and this was more about me just having the confidence to do it. Also for me at this early stage, starting with some tactic or trick makes me feel like I'm in control and moving things along at my pace. Also, I haven't run into rejection yet, but if and when I do this will at least help me save some face.
I've really come a long way though, more recently, I just moved in close with a girl and started glancing down at her lips. The second I saw her start doing the same, I kissed her.
Another, more harrowing interaction played out like this:
Her: "So, it seems like we've been through every conversation topic at least once."
Me: "Well, not every topic..."
Her: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Well, I've been thinking about kissing you all night."
Her: [flat stare, body language went from semi-neutral to neutral] "So what, am I supposed to have some sort of...reaction to that?"
Me: [I was sure I'd screwed it up, but rather than capitulate, I continued in a bored voice, mirroring her body language] "No, you're just supposed to sit there in an awkward silence..."
Then I held her chin kissed her. Not the smoothest transition, but in stark contrast to how I would have reacted just weeks earlier, I would have immediately backpedaled/shut down, and that door would have closed--probably for good. It's amazing how far a little experience and confidence go. I feel it's also important to note that this girl (for some silly reason) was actively trying to "play it cool" with me, and really, really wanted to kiss me from the start.