Am i being immoral?

[Dylweed]

At the end of July last year, 2014, i hung out with a girl from work and we fucked. She couldn't believe i didn't have a girlfriend and she seemed like the clingy type so i clarified im not looking for a girlfriend and i even told her i hung out with other girls recently. She tried hanging out a lot after that but i always limited it to once a week, i told her i don't like texting.

A few weeks in she asked what we were, i told her we were just friends and reminder her im not looking for a relationship.

We've been hanging out almost every week ever since this started, so 10 months.Plenty more times i told her im not looking for a girlfriend.

Her friend knows my friend and told him that she is in love with me and thinks we'll be together someday. I started feeling guilty that she's blowing other guys off to be with me because shes never going to get me.

I asked her a few weeks ago if she ever hooked up with anybody since this all started and she told me no, she seemed genuine but i still didn't believe her until i slept with her friend last week who told me that it's true and that she really is obsessed with me.

The next day she texted me saying shes got a boyfriend now. She said she'd finally be honest with me and tell me she really wanted to date me but knew it wouldn't happen so thats why. It was even facebook official lol. I was really happy because i didn't have to end things myself and she got what she wanted, a relationship. Weight off my shoulders.

She said she still wants to be friends though so we were going to hang out at least one more time tonight just to talk. She ended up telling me she wanted to show me a song on my computer and then layed on my bed and kept touching me while i was sitting on my computer chair. I could tell she wanted to fuck. I hesitated but eventually did fuck her after asking her some questions about her boyfriend, she said she's second guessing it because she barely knows him and she senses hes cheating because she saw his phone. She said she was drunk when she texted me saying she has a bf. Saying she doesn't even want a boyfriend at all.

Should i just stop seeing this girl completely? I feel like im fucking with her head hard core. She's never honest with me about her feelings because she's probably afraid ill stop talking to her. She even cheated on her bf now with me. But then again i do love the pussy and i feel like im doing her a favor. I'm so confused.

cliffnotes
10 month long fwb is in love with me according to her friends and she just cheated on her new bf with me and rationalized it like it was totally okay. Is this wrong of me?

 

[ray_zorse]

If she seemed somewhat together and that she had different relationships in her life for different purposes I'd say it's fine for her to cheat, even go so far as to say that it's none of my business, I only care about the relationship between me and her and I find it ideal if she is in a stable situation elsewhere and getting from it the commitment that I can't give her.

Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case, she has this wobbly frame and her head does seem to be all over the place because of you. At any rate she is causing you drama, you're scratching your head enough to write this post and she is doing and saying random stuff that makes you go wtf, it's basically an attention thing, she's acting out her feelings that she kept repressed while on best behaviour in the hope you would come around, now safety valve has actuated.

Story of my life lately brother, I'm steeling myself to end a relationship that I really liked and recommend you do same.

Ray

 

[Lotus]

First off I don't think you have done anything to wrong her, you were completely honest from the get-go. She's been chasing you for a relationship which is exactly what you want, to get girls chasing. .

She started "dating" that guy to make you jealous in hope that you would make her your GF. Looks like you passed that test, but now you have to deal with her feelings.

Seeing her every week for 10 months is what got her attached, if you were able to space it out a little more you may have been able to manage the feelings better. I was reccomended to follow the 10-day rule for FWB 2 months ago and that helped substantially, so I would look into that if I were you.

I can't currently find the post but, 2 hangouts every 3 weeks. In this situation it may be hard to backtrack though.

 

[Franco]

Dylweed,

I pretty much agree with what has already been said here. It seems like you've been blatantly clear about what it is that you want from her (a FWB), and you've even been clear that you want to see other women. At that point, it's on her to decide whether or not she wants to keep seeing you. You aren't being immoral because you're being 100% honest with her; in this situation, ironically, that's probably what is making her fall for you even harder. But this is also how women learn their lessons. It's not just guys who have to learn how to get girls; girls also have to learn how to get guys -- and they also need to learn how to cut ties with guys that aren't giving them what they want.

As long as you don't promise her anything that you can't give her (which it seems like you haven't been doing, which is good), then there's nothing wrong with continuing to sleep with her if she keeps wanting to sleep with you. However, if it's sucking out all of the fun you're having with her or it's causing more drama than the sex is worth, then, like Ray already smentioned, you're always free to just cut the connection with her on your own.

- Franco