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Am I being too respectful to show / recieve sex?

nickname1

Rookie
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Joined
Feb 20, 2023
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2
I'm 27 years old and have met a few women and had some relationships, but Its never what I want or am looking for, not fulfilling.

I have never been able to approach a woman and seduce her for sex.

Let me provide some examples from real life and you decide what I'm doing wrong. I'm not looking for a relationship, but rather a hookup.

1. There was a cute woman in my previous gym, she seemed very nice and polite / smiling all the time. I approached her and talked very politely, example.

- How are you doing?

- Have you been training here for a long time?

- You look strong..

- Are you taken?

- So on...

She was polite back and told me she had to finish the workout and was taken, but she smiled and greeted me next time. Then I found out few weeks after that a friend of mine had went up to her (had not seen eachother before) and said..

- Daaamn is that real? (Here bum)

- I have to test drive it to be sure.

They were in bed the same night, then another dude also managed to get down with her quick. thought women wanted some polite approach and not disrespectful, at least thats what 99% of women told me and how I've been raised.

2. Another time I talked to a woman in my class, trying to be a little cold (to show I was not in need for her, to attract her - was young lol) but still showed that I was interested. Told here she looked beautiful and asked her out on a date, we meet a night and talked about a lot of things related to studies, life, relationships and had a decent time. Then before we head back she told me she is looking for something serious and not for sex on the first date. I told her I'm not ready to build something with someone and we stopped.

Then... Later found out she had sex another friend of mine. He basically talked to her in what I understood disrespectful but yet teasing manner, brought a small sex toy (he can control from the phone) and she was in on the idea. Ended up with sex ("i dont have sex on the first date")..

3. I was out partying with two friends and we started talking to two other women. Seemed well educated, well spoken.

They started to talk about how their previous partners and men nowadays are being childish, non romantic and lacking respect for women (right on topic lol) I started to talk with the one that seemed interested in me, we talked about education / work / income and were joking around at the same time. She was polite but did not show more, I tried to signal with body language but was not sure.

Then she turned to my friend that was already talking with the other one. He was talking random stuff mostly and nothing special tbh, might have said something about selling illegal stuff and interrupting them. Then she took his number and they hooked up next day and she wanted to invite him and sent some teasing pics, but he told her to screw herself and she was even more hooked after that..

....

I'm polite, I'm not a douche and capable of disrespecting people at first glance (unless they deserve it). I do have integrity and opinions. I dont look bad, I have a good physique (competed in mens physique 3x).

But I'm lost on how to approach and seduce women with the purpose of pleasure and sex. I always end up meeting women that look for a husband or some serious stuff. I've read models, no more mr nice guy and more. I did find them educating, but I dont feel i can relate to everything in that. Example I only have male friends, never was friend with a woman.

I think I have too much respect and think high of people, I want to be shown in a positive manner. I want one thing but I dont know how to tell em "Hey nice ass wanna ..." because I dont think that will work but apparently all my friends that are disrespectful, straight on point and dont cars about other people have the best outcome in sex and dating plenty of attractive women.

Most women say "be yourself" and "I want someone that is respecting me" and "Im not looking for sex". But tbh thats not what I've seen...

I want to experiment next time, there is this chick in the gym we have been eyeing eachother for about 6 months and said nothing more than "Hi, how are you" and similar. I was thinking of just telling her that I want to have sex with her, but tbh feels weird thinking about it and how to say it?
 

Conquistador

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 2, 2022
Messages
1,088
- You look strong..
Fishing for a response.
- Are you taken?
Did you respond to this invitation?
Then before we head back she told me she is looking for something serious and not for sex on the first date. I told her I'm not ready to build something with someone and we stopped.

Then... Later found out she had sex another friend of mine. He basically talked to her in what I understood disrespectful but yet teasing manner, brought a small sex toy (he can control from the phone) and she was in on the idea. Ended up with sex ("i dont have sex on the first date")..
This is a well-known phenomenon. She put you in the BF box and him in the hookup box.
You can avoid this by being more sexual.
Then she turned to my friend that was already talking with the other one. He was talking random stuff mostly and nothing special tbh, might have said something about selling illegal stuff and interrupting them. Then she took his number and they hooked up next day and she wanted to invite him and sent some teasing pics, but he told her to screw herself and she was even more hooked after that..
Basically the same phenomenon.
Example I only have male friends, never was friend with a woman.
Change that.
Most women say "be yourself" and "I want someone that is respecting me" and "Im not looking for sex". But tbh thats not what I've seen...
Actions speak louder than words. You can't always take what women say at face value lol
I want to experiment next time, there is this chick in the gym we have been eyeing eachother for about 6 months
6 months!?!
and said nothing more than "Hi, how are you" and similar. I was thinking of just telling her that I want to have sex with her, but tbh feels weird thinking about it and how to say it?
That can work sometimes if you're not creepy about it, but it's not usually recommended.

Advice:
- Initiate more. Make moves -- more quickly. Lead.
- If you want to screw a girl, imply it, verbally and nonverbally.
- Make it clear you aren't looking for a relationship.
- Respecting women means being the opposite of creepy. Not putting them on pedestals or being too polite.
- Appreciate and understand women's sexuality.
- You may have a Madonna-whore complex. Realize that women are both and neither (although some individual women may be mostly one or the other at any given point).
 

HoofHearted

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 10, 2022
Messages
461
We never, and most often can't, make people do something they don't want to do.

Rather we are in the business of helping people do what they already want to do.

There are women that are interested in fast sex.
So say there's a woman who is interested in sex. What do you need to show her to communicate that you're an option?

Do you think you'd need to flirt, be assertive, draw her forward toward the end goal, make the interaction sexual? Make it an emotional rush or interesting? Man, you're good at this.

I know it might seem disrespectul to tell a woman you're flirting with, if the context is correct, that some light spanking is in order. But it's not. Many of them are looking forward to it.

So it's only disrespectful if you don't spank her afterwards. We keep our promises. Now be a gentleman, get her home and slap dat ass.
 

Zoro

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 25, 2012
Messages
1,124
Have you read articles on the main site? I think starting there would help you out.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake
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