Hey all,
I'm new here. Hopefully some of you can enlighten me on my current situation with this one girl i grew attached to.
So here's my story:
Does anyone here have any advice for me, should i move on or continue seeing her but just as one of her friends and see if things lead anywhere?
Thanks in advance for taking the time to read and reply.
I'm new here. Hopefully some of you can enlighten me on my current situation with this one girl i grew attached to.
So here's my story:
Code:
I met with this girl November 2nd of last year, I have met all of her family and they genuinely seem to like me. We have been many places to events/casual meetups. Everything seemed to be going right, but there has been a lot of drama which i have tried to move on from and not read too much into things. I know at first i was too "needy" asking if she wanted to meet up during the week, or just trying to keep conversations going - yeah i know, i've been that annoying guy that doesn't know when to stop a conversation.
Everytime i've ever asked if she wanted to do anything, she sometimes would ask for options then i'd give them and she would say "don't know, will let you know later" or that she's "too busy/tired". I eventually stopped asking her to do things and she's been asking me so i've been going to see her when she wants, making myself perhaps too available and being too nice/paying for things. I know she has lots of "lad friends", and shes assured me a few times that they are just friends and nothing will ever happen with them, but at the same time she's also told me about times where a few people have asked if she was "naked" or for "nude pictures", which doesn't put me at ease really.
She has been in one relationship which lasted six years and her boyfriend cheated on her three times, she broke it off with him last year in February. She's told me she has trusting issues and that shes not ready for a relationship, which i've respected, shes also told me that "we're friends but a little more" and that she wanted to see "where things lead". I had a little bit of a rant to her the other day as i have only seen her twice in 19 days, after she said in the past she was going to put more effort in and see me more etc but hasn't, she didn't talk to me all day, instead i spoke to her later to talk about it - this is what she said "Oh man sorry I have been so busy today I literally have forgot to talk to people not just you. Man you still on about my lads mates there friends nothing more nothin less. I told you I don't want no relationship just mates that's all I want I am happy been single and on my own I have told you this Kieran x".
Though she never told me she just wanted to be mates, she told me we were a "little more" and that she wasn't ready for a relationship, i thought over time she would figure out what she wanted and that we would be "something". Maybe i have just been over thinking all this/reading too much into things she says.
Personally i don't think shes actually over her ex, she still says bad things about him every now and then, he seems to be in her mind sometimes.
Our latest meetup, we went to play some games of Bowling and also to enjoy a meal. I thought it was going to be just the two of us, though out of the blue she asked "did you want to bring your nephew or nieces bowling?", she also said "you never take them places" and hinted at bringing her nephew along "was thinking could of took #nephews name# too he here but i ain't paying so can't really bring him along lol xx" to which i decided to tell her she could bring him along and that i didn't mind paying for him too.
It would appear that she didn't want to be alone with me, or didn't want me thinking it was a date which is why she wanted nephews/nieces with us i think. She took some Snap Chat picture stories later on, one picture had me and her in, the pictures last 24 hours but she deleted the picture of me and her early the next morning, whilst all the other pictures were still there. She told me she must have done it when half asleep said it was a mistake, but i don't really believe her, it takes three steps to delete one of those pictures.
I thought to myself perhaps she didn't want some of her lad friends to see us together, but then thought why did she even bother taking a picture of us, i have been left confused at times by how things are between us. She sure seems difficult to understand.
The fact we slept together three times doesn't help me be any less confused.Does anyone here have any advice for me, should i move on or continue seeing her but just as one of her friends and see if things lead anywhere?
Thanks in advance for taking the time to read and reply.
And, do it right next time, you seem to have good instincts for where you're going wrong. Read the article "what to expect from friends with benefits".