- Joined
- Dec 8, 2024
- Messages
- 3
Hi guys,
I've been reading lots of articles on girlschase.com for months now, and they have been brilliant in helping me understand aspects of seduction (and also understanding how women think in general). I have certainly realised that there have been many mindsets that I had that were totally wrong, mainly as a result of other PUAs on the internet brainwashing me with information that is quite frankly wrong (such as the ones who say fundamentals don't matter at all, and that it's all entirely about your verbal flirtation skills).
Despite having gained further understanding in the social and seductive arts, and practicing my skills by approaching and talking to new women on the regular (I typically go for warm-approaches in social situations), I feel like there is one small piece of the puzzle that I am still missing which is currently hindering my seduction game entirely.
Despite the fact that I have worked on my fundamentals greatly over the past few years, and that I have been practising socialising with both men and women in a variety of different settings to an extent where I am fairly comfortable and confident with having interactions with new people, I am having great difficulty in reading signs of interest from women and differentiating if they are flirting or simply just being friendly.
The problem is, because I do not have any reliable/consistent results to form a baseline with, I end up getting in my head worrying about whether the true reason is simply because my value is too low (i.e. fundamentals are still poor), as opposed to it being attainability/auto-rejection/girls have their guard up when a stranger first talks to them.
I was really hoping that I would learn from girlschase.com that it would be far better just to disregard looking for signs of interest, especially as Chase has written about going for results and not reactions, and that mixed signals are extremely common, especially from hotter girls (the articles on ambiguity have certainly helped me understand more too). I have also personally experienced the paradox of the flirty girl scenario on a fair few occasions.
But then I get stuck again when I read articles on girlschase.com (and elsewhere) that signs of interests are indeed very helpful (though not conclusive), and that we should not be disregarding them at all.
So I am left with a dilemma – either my fundamentals are still too low and that I am simply not attractive enough to women still, or I am simply not reading the signs of interest that they are displaying.
My gut feeling is that it’s the latter, given that I have worked on my fundamentals (and still continue to do so), and I have been given positive remarks from various people. But I don’t have consistent substantial results to prove this to myself, so I can never be 100% sure. And as for signs – I seem to still be locked in this mindset that girls would make it fairly obvious to me if they are interested, yet I never seem to really get these, or I misread them being nervous and aloof as disinterest. I understand the points about investment, but I don’t even get as far as that to be able to put that to the test.
I guess one final thing that really makes it difficult for me is all the people on the internet who seem to suggest that attractive men will be approached and hit on directly - I rarely ever experience this, so I keep trying to convince myself that the internet is just presenting an extreme lens of this, and as such isn't really something that happens to most guys on the regular.
I would love it if anyone could please help shed some light on this for me, or point me to some resources that would help me figure this out.
Perhaps the best example of a situation where I find myself stuck is when I try to talk to a girl (maybe I met her once before, or she's new), and she's just being really aloof and not really helping carry the conversation on. While girlschase.com would teach that this is to be expected and it's the job of me as the man to put more effort in initially, I struggle to find the balance between putting in effort, but not coming across as too needy, desperate or outcome dependent - I often find I need the girl to at least chip in a few times to help to help her along. In this scenario, I often just write these girls off as disinterested, but is this an accurate interpretation or could I be wrong? (e.g. attainability/auto-rejection?)
Many thanks,
ITS
I've been reading lots of articles on girlschase.com for months now, and they have been brilliant in helping me understand aspects of seduction (and also understanding how women think in general). I have certainly realised that there have been many mindsets that I had that were totally wrong, mainly as a result of other PUAs on the internet brainwashing me with information that is quite frankly wrong (such as the ones who say fundamentals don't matter at all, and that it's all entirely about your verbal flirtation skills).
Despite having gained further understanding in the social and seductive arts, and practicing my skills by approaching and talking to new women on the regular (I typically go for warm-approaches in social situations), I feel like there is one small piece of the puzzle that I am still missing which is currently hindering my seduction game entirely.
Despite the fact that I have worked on my fundamentals greatly over the past few years, and that I have been practising socialising with both men and women in a variety of different settings to an extent where I am fairly comfortable and confident with having interactions with new people, I am having great difficulty in reading signs of interest from women and differentiating if they are flirting or simply just being friendly.
The problem is, because I do not have any reliable/consistent results to form a baseline with, I end up getting in my head worrying about whether the true reason is simply because my value is too low (i.e. fundamentals are still poor), as opposed to it being attainability/auto-rejection/girls have their guard up when a stranger first talks to them.
I was really hoping that I would learn from girlschase.com that it would be far better just to disregard looking for signs of interest, especially as Chase has written about going for results and not reactions, and that mixed signals are extremely common, especially from hotter girls (the articles on ambiguity have certainly helped me understand more too). I have also personally experienced the paradox of the flirty girl scenario on a fair few occasions.
But then I get stuck again when I read articles on girlschase.com (and elsewhere) that signs of interests are indeed very helpful (though not conclusive), and that we should not be disregarding them at all.
So I am left with a dilemma – either my fundamentals are still too low and that I am simply not attractive enough to women still, or I am simply not reading the signs of interest that they are displaying.
My gut feeling is that it’s the latter, given that I have worked on my fundamentals (and still continue to do so), and I have been given positive remarks from various people. But I don’t have consistent substantial results to prove this to myself, so I can never be 100% sure. And as for signs – I seem to still be locked in this mindset that girls would make it fairly obvious to me if they are interested, yet I never seem to really get these, or I misread them being nervous and aloof as disinterest. I understand the points about investment, but I don’t even get as far as that to be able to put that to the test.
I guess one final thing that really makes it difficult for me is all the people on the internet who seem to suggest that attractive men will be approached and hit on directly - I rarely ever experience this, so I keep trying to convince myself that the internet is just presenting an extreme lens of this, and as such isn't really something that happens to most guys on the regular.
I would love it if anyone could please help shed some light on this for me, or point me to some resources that would help me figure this out.
Perhaps the best example of a situation where I find myself stuck is when I try to talk to a girl (maybe I met her once before, or she's new), and she's just being really aloof and not really helping carry the conversation on. While girlschase.com would teach that this is to be expected and it's the job of me as the man to put more effort in initially, I struggle to find the balance between putting in effort, but not coming across as too needy, desperate or outcome dependent - I often find I need the girl to at least chip in a few times to help to help her along. In this scenario, I often just write these girls off as disinterested, but is this an accurate interpretation or could I be wrong? (e.g. attainability/auto-rejection?)
Many thanks,
ITS
