Socializing  another victim of don't shit were you eat....Meagan Hall

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Every week you have multiple posts of dudes (99% of the time inexperience newer guys with not if any luck of success) writing post on some co worker, or girl in the social circle etc.......

So now 5 police officers and a girl ruin their life by fucking her coworkers her name is meagan hall ... If you notice at your life you were never good at social circle, in your high school you max had maybe 1 girlfriend if you were one of the cool guys..... Max maybe 3 through the whole high school, if a big time player stud probably no more than 5, you can do 5 in less than a moth via cold approach, in online probably in a week...... Now lets say you are super smooth and the girl is super smooth, and you get away with it, now you have to bump or see that girl constantly (gym), which cause some level of unnecessary stress (i may be projecting)....

Here is by skills:

"I get ask many times what is the best way to seduce people in your social circle (for the purpose of this post we will call social circle women that you will see on a consistent basis in a group) ______________________ (co-workers, friend ex, friend sister or family member, classmates, ex girlfriend friends etc…), and my answer always is “you do not shit where you eat”. By you getting involve in those scenarios all you are doing is inviting to your life tons of stress, drama and lost of friendships, jobs etc… It is just not worth it.

That is why I always advocate to get good at cold approach pick up, if you are a beginner and social circle is your goal. Start by seducing total strangers before you even attempt to seduce women in your so call “social circle”. By following this approach you have less of a chance to fuck it up, specially when you do not know what you are doing. But, there is another advantage to that which is, by the time you get good at cold approach pick up (gaming total strangers) and you get back to your social circle, you will probably change your mind since you will have tons of girls, so by that point you will be like “this shit ain’t worth it”.

I have witness from people that did not follow this advise: loss of students(in my martial arts group), loss of income, stress, drama, loss of reputation, loss of licenses, loss of job, death and injuries (due to physical fights). As I keep saying learn how to be good with women and have and abundant life style or mindset so you do not have to resort to desperate measures that will result in tons of stress, drama and other horrible consequences. I know what you are gonna ask: skills you do not have a social circle? I do have a social circle through capoeira (brazilian martial arts that involves dance and acrobatics) and yes the women that practice capoeira are above average in terms of hotness. But guess what? In almost 15 years of me doing capoeira I have not gotten involved with any of the girls by choice and I have gotten tons of invitations. My teacher is one of the best natural seducers I have ever seen and one of the best capoeristas in the world. However, I have witness how my group went from 500-1000 students to about 50 to 100. One of the reason and a contributing factor is he was getting involved with the students and students hooking up with each other.

Moreover, I lost two close friends by getting involve with their sisters, thanks god it was when I was a young punk, so I learned early on. Also, in my book I talk about how when I was around 17-18 I hooked up with a co-worker in Kenny Roger Rosters, again tons of stress and drama.

So what is the right way to use the social circle? good question. There are couple of ways to use social circle correctly. One is to use the social circle as pre-selection and social proof as a bridge to seduce other women outside the circle. In other words they will be like “oh shit the dude is cool and popular so if he were to open me I will be cool instead of shutting him down”. The second way to use social proof, it is for some guys that are looking for a long term monogamous relationship or marriage. They can get to know the girl, get an idea on her how she is and date her, since he is not looking to date multiple girls. In this case is ok, the problem is if you were to break up, then the situation becomes very uncomfortable and one or the other may have to leave the group and lose a lot of the friendships of that group, since a lot of them will take sides, which sucks.


Finally, lets say you or the girl you are interested in, will leave the social circle, then you can game her after she leaves the social circle or job etc…"


So now if you still insist what job scenarios have a bit of lower risk (lower does not mean NO RISK, in my opinion again i would pass, but lower risk):

-A mall were she works in a different store
- a corporation were she works in a different location (still risky though)
- Restaurant/bar/club business
- Social group were again different location for example in my martial art school we have school in different locations and countries
- mega corporation were building size of a mall and she works in a totally different department or part of the building
-countries in the 2nd and 3rd world, were is low to no risk since is normal.

^ again lower risk does not mean no risk, for me is a total waste of time... Focus on learning cold approach (gaming total strangers)...
 
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Train

Chieftan
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Agreed, reminded of this great (but sad) article on a brilliant cancer scientist who got canceled hard by shitting where he ate:

https://www.thefp.com/p/he-was-a-world-renowned-cancer-researcher?s=r

Long story short, he dated a coworker, she felt disregarded and painted him as an aggressor, contrary to the experiences of colleagues, lab employees, etc. He lost his job, blackballed in his industry.

Also despite the fact he didn't supervise her, didn't work directly with her, and he didn't have the ability to fire her.
 
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ElChe

Space Monkey
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Agreed, reminded of this great (but sad) article on a brilliant cancer scientist who got canceled hard by shitting where he ate:

https://www.thefp.com/p/he-was-a-world-renowned-cancer-researcher?s=r
This story is crazy. How the heck can they do that to a guy who was providing so much value to humanity?

What had David Sabatini been found guilty of that merited this kind of punishment? Chiefly, failing to disclose his consensual relationship with Knouse. On top of that, the report found that Sabatini, in his day-to-day administration of the lab, violated the Whitehead’s Anti-Harassment Policy, since his “behavior created a sexualized undercurrent in the lab.” Sabatini’s relationship with Knouse exacerbated things, given his “indirect influence” over her, which violated the Anti-Harassment Policy and ran afoul of the “spirit” if not the letter of another of the institute's policies.

True, he didn’t supervise Knouse. He didn’t work directly with her. He never threatened her or proposed a quid pro quo. And he certainly didn’t have the power to fire her. But, according to the report, he had “experience, stature, and age” over her. Knouse’s apparent desire to continue their relationship only served to confirm his influence: “That she felt the need to act ‘fun’ to impress Sabatini underscores how Sabatini’s words and actions profoundly impacted her,” the lawyers wrote.

All I can say is wtf. Also I agree with Skill's point to not shit where you eat, but man. It would be nice if people could just be horny in peace.
 

Beam

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Agreed, reminded of this great (but sad) article on a brilliant cancer scientist who got canceled hard by shitting where he ate:

https://www.thefp.com/p/he-was-a-world-renowned-cancer-researcher?s=r

Long story short, he dated a coworker, she felt disregarded and painted him as an aggressor, contrary to the experiences of colleagues, lab employees, etc. He lost his job, blackballed in his industry.

Also despite the fact he didn't supervise her, didn't work directly with her, and he didn't have the ability to fire her.
Reading this made me feel ill.
 

POB

Chieftan
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People are lazy...that's why they always go for the low-hanging fruit (co-workers, sister-in-laws, their friend's wives/gfs and the likes).
It's easier to hit on someone you already know than it is on a complete stranger.

Plus it's 2023...

Shit, yesterday I discovered uber drivers can be cancelled and banned forever from the platform if a gay dude just decides to report the ride (whether any incident happened or not, doesn't matter, they will never investigate).
But, there is another advantage to that which is, by the time you get good at cold approach pick up (gaming total strangers) and you get back to your social circle, you will probably change your mind since you will have tons of girls, so by that point you will be like “this shit ain’t worth it”.
Bingo!
 

Protean

Space Monkey
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I needed to read this. I was starting to bend the rules about making moves on girls who live in my building and nearly got burned.

If you shouldn’t shit where you eat you definitely shouldn’t shit where you sleep!
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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I needed to read this. I was starting to bend the rules about making moves on girls who live in my building and nearly got burned.

If you shouldn’t shit where you eat you definitely shouldn’t shit where you sleep!
Yeah almost happened to @DoWhatWorks told him the same, good point forgot to mention in op
 

MarkA

Space Monkey
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All good solid advice for an average guy.

The problem is when a guy is thirsty all rational thinking goes out the window and he seeks any weak justification to go after the girl. There is nothing one can do to help them and so you end up watching the inevitable slow motion car crash.

Then again I have seen some guys get into happy relationships from work and even ended up married but really as POB says for most guys it is going after low hanging fruit. For the those it did not work out it turned ugly and became a source of constant office gossip.

I think those guys and girls who got married they did vet each other and wanted a serious relationship rather than just felt horny.

The only time I would say it's ok is if it is temp job for him or her, HR are not woke and a hook up culture is tolerated (e.g. holiday rep in Spain for young people).
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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All good solid advice for an average guy.

The problem is when a guy is thirsty all rational thinking goes out the window and he seeks any weak justification to go after the girl. There is nothing one can do to help them and so you end up watching the inevitable slow motion car crash.

Then again I have seen some guys get into happy relationships from work and even ended up married but really as POB says for most guys it is going after low hanging fruit. For the those it did not work out it turned ugly and became a source of constant office gossip.

I think those guys and girls who got married they did vet each other and wanted a serious relationship rather than just felt horny.

The only time I would say it's ok is if it is temp job for him or her, HR are not woke and a hook up culture is tolerated (e.g. holiday rep in Spain for young people).
Actually i specifically mentioned is a good strategy for normie ltr, i wrote this... problem is if break up or divorse total shit show...
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
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I agree with everything in this thread.

You CAN get a serious girlfriend from work but it usually puts you in a position where you have to go the exclusive boyfriend route, otherwise you may hurt her reputation (or she may feel like it) and you will have to suffer the consequences.
The company is unlikely to take your side.

You CAN also get FWBs and occasional sex with co-workers but that is playing with fire.

A lot of things you CAN do… not all of them are smart.
 

Glow

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Fine with this warning for noobs to not fool too much around in the wrong spaces.

Just beware that social circle game is a particular game style and a powerful one.

it layers perfectly on top of cold approach game but the tactics are quite different so many cold approach guys even top seducers will fuck up in Sc game and often make fast conclusions as they dont make important shifts.

I particularly like the mix between cold approach and social circle game - crossgame, eg i often build social circle relations when out ca'ing girls to build social circles via hot girl sets and female social connectors, and thus create pipelines for warm leads via them or particular groups to go out w etc. It has been a pipeline for many quality lays and i consider it the best laid back form of providing quality per effort. its more managing a system of social circles and key relations than just seducing in your current social circle

eg i build a few female mini-circles - female friends who i work as a set and build a connection with. Ive specialised in foreign upper class girls. these then invite me out and to parties with their visiting hot friends and they were basically providing me regular hot leads.

On the shifts - There is a slower game going on, a patience of affecting her, a bit of an internal branding and frame setting - discretion appreciation frames, sexual society etc.Ive also banged hotties at work. i ALWAYS do clear extracts and my seduction is vibe based meaning i can seduce via presence and eyes, smooth talk and create enough crave for meeting m outside the space of meet without any direct clear intent signal. More an alluring presence. i GLOW ;)
I avoid trash and problem women like the plague to avoid drama, jalousi and issues.

Just to outline an important distinction.
 
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MarkA

Space Monkey
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I particularly like the mix between cold approach and social circle game - crossgame, eg i often build social circle relations when out ca'ing girls to build social circles via hot girl sets and female social connectors, and thus create pipelines for warm leads via them or particular groups to go out w etc. It has been a pipeline for many quality lays and i consider it the best laid back form of providing quality per effort. its more managing a system of social circles and key relations than just seducing in your current social circle

eg i build a few female mini-circles - female friends who i work as a set and build a connection with. Ive specialised in foreign upper class girls. these then invite me out and to parties with their visiting hot friends and they were basically providing me regular hot leads.

On the shifts - There is a slower game going on, a patience of affecting her, a bit of an internal branding and frame setting - discretion appreciation frames, sexual society etc.Ive also banged hotties at work. i ALWAYS do clear extracts and my seduction is vibe based meaning i can seduce via presence and eyes, smooth talk and create enough crave for meeting m outside the space of meet without any direct clear intent signal. More an alluring presence. i GLOW ;)
I avoid trash and problem women like the plague to avoid drama, jalousi and issues.

Just to outline an important distinction.
Thanks for this post Glow. If you have the time I would like to see a separate thread on this and how you keep in the good books with the hot girls and social connectors when you are hitting on their girlfriends.
 

Rakehell

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Adding on to Glow with a different perspective.

If you do social circle for any reason, I feel you will learn how to navigate social situations implicitly in the same way that women do.

You learn how to speak their language, and to understand their language, because when you are in social circles, your goals parallel with most women’s(negating social risks), so you learn to adopt some of their behaviors.

Learning how to speak their language in that way is beneficial i’ve found in all aspects of dealing with them. And its not forced or faked because you’ve quite literally been in her shoes before.

You learn to talk underneath most people’s understanding, it’s an if you know you know kind of dynamic.

You also learn to read in between the subtexts of OTHER people’s dynamics, and what she is communicating to other people really.

Social circle accelerated this for me. But I do generally agree that it’s not for most people, and the risk isn't always worth the reward. Nor will most people be able to do it without getting some type of burn.
 
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James Cruse

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I think the reason people want to hook up with co-workers or people in their social circle or at school - is because it’s easier from both directions:

1. You already have (presumably) Social Proof in that environment. You’re not a stranger: they know you, your friends, possibly your family and they often see you doing something you excel in repeatedly.
Where this goes against men is if women see you NOT excelling, not having too many friends, you continually having awkward or negative relationships, etc.

This is a huge reason men want to leverage all of these (positive) social proof elements to meet and date women in their close vicinity, especially when women have friends that “approve” of the man in question.

2. There was study done a few years ago that essentially says: people like each other more when they see them more often. If you’re around each other all the time - the women you’re around will like you more + you will like them more (in theory).

3. You as a man, have more opportunity to seduce them, while doing other things that you were already doing.

This is a double edged sword aswell - it can be they see you doing things that are very unbecoming and lose attraction for your as a result.

4. Sexual tension. There are so many opportunities to create sexual tension.

Literal Physical Proximity (ala 60 years of challenge). You’re creating sexual tension from just being close to them in a physical way, due to whatever it is you’re doing. If you’re both required to be there (work, school, being around your friends, etc.)
More eye contact, more of everything to create sexual tension (or alternatively - to create negative tension where that woman becomes less and less interested).

5. Pure Availability. Most people don’t hook up with other people because they aren’t available to them - due to location, never meeting them, logistics etc.
People that you see frequently are AVAILABLE to you, or at least you think they are. Most women (and sadly most men) don’t see alot of the opposite sex as being truly available to them, because they haven’t meaningfully met them, and if they have met them, don’t know if whatever that person is saying is true, and if they are who they say they are without meeting their friends, family and other people involved in that persons life to confirm their status/social proof/confidence etc.
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
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I think the reason people want to hook up with co-workers or people in their social circle or at school - is because it’s easier from both directions:

1. You already have (presumably) Social Proof in that environment.

That’s the thing, it feels easier… most guys are going for what it feels like low hanging fruit (because going for strangers feels impossible to most guys).

But even an average girl gets approached from time to time… mind you, maybe not by super skilled seducers, yet enough that the average girl has much more options than the average guy.
 

James Cruse

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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That’s the thing, it feels easier… most guys are going for what it feels like low hanging fruit (because going for strangers feels impossible to most guys).
It FEELS like that because it IS that muxh easier in reality - because you’re not a stranger to her.
She has some idea of your value/where you are in a heirarchy of men where you both are in the same place.

Again, I said this in the post - it’s a double edged sword when she thinks you have no value and it’s confirmed by your peers and those in the heirarchy around you - even if it’s not technically true.

Pluse most guys are terrified of approaching - so seducing someone they already know is easier for alot of guys than cold approaching.
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
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It FEELS like that because it IS that muxh easier in reality - because you’re not a stranger to her.

After having laid 5x more from cold approach/apps than social circle, I have to disagree.

It is much easier to lay strangers than acquaintances.

Social circle reputation tends to be more a liability than an asset. At least for laying.
 

Bismarck

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That’s the thing, it feels easier… most guys are going for what it feels like low hanging fruit (because going for strangers feels impossible to most guys).

But even an average girl gets approached from time to time… mind you, maybe not by super skilled seducers, yet enough that the average girl has much more options than the average guy.

Failing that, they can get dating app dick. Not sure all girls are satisfied with that arrangement though.

For social circle, the best thing is to bring people together, and usually, the money is in the girls that are on the fringes, friends of friends, or in circles related to something you have in common (i.e., interns of a particular company, people with shared interests (dancing, poetry reading, hiking, whatever)).

IOW, girls who don't know you, but with whom approaching will be warmer because the environment has already reduced the coldness (like an art exhibit, an art museum, a bookshop, a library, etc.)
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Failing that, they can get dating app dick. Not sure all girls are satisfied with that arrangement though.

For social circle, the best thing is to bring people together, and usually, the money is in the girls that are on the fringes, friends of friends, or in circles related to something you have in common (i.e., interns of a particular company, people with shared interests (dancing, poetry reading, hiking, whatever)).

IOW, girls who don't know you, but with whom approaching will be warmer because the environment has already reduced the coldness (like an art exhibit, an art museum, a bookshop, a library, etc.)
yes i mentioned this:

"There are couple of ways to use social circle correctly. One is to use the social circle as pre-selection and social proof as a bridge to seduce other women outside the circle. In other words they will be like “oh shit the dude is cool and popular so if he were to open me I will be cool instead of shutting him down”.
 
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