Answer ASAP: When a Girl Doesnt Want to Get "Attached"

[NewBeeWinner]

Hey guys,

Went out tonight with a girl I met at a store a while back. I'll write a field report on it after this.

Every time I would normally have kissed a girl (at the top of a mountain viewing the city or before she gets out of my car - tonights examples), this girl was leaning back and not showing signs of being ready to be kissed. I just knew it wasnt good timing and she wasnt ready.

So I didnt. I just got home and she sent this text:

Thank you for a fun night! I really enjoyed getting to know you more! Also, I'm sorry... I thought about kissing you too but I know I'm going to get attached and/or lead you on

Followed by:

I shouldn't say I thought about it... I wanted to kiss you too but Didn't for the reasons I already told you.

How do I respond to this????

For those wondering, the reasons shes talking about that I can think of are: shes only kissed 5 guys (shes 24), she had one boyfriend at the end of college who was long distance (and it ruined her when they broke up so she said she didnt want that ever again), and that she doesnt want a bf because she enjoys being single, like she has been most of her life (I agreed on the no relationship part).

This is a good question for me because Ive also had other girls tell me they dont want to do things for fear of becoming attached.

So again, how to respond? Asap if possible!

NBW

 

[naturalmikey]

so you want to know how to manipulate her into meeting you again and being more interested in kissing you. well i would strip her of validation as subtly as possible. maybe hold off on texting her for two days. then respond like "yeah i thought about it too, but it just didn't feel right." then she'll be like "why didn't it feel right?" maybe this will spark intrigue in thinking she can't have you. this isn't going to be easy. but it could be good practice to see how she responds.

you really need to not give a shit. don't become emotionally invested in this girl. she's probably just not interested in you. you can turn that around by changing your perceived value to her. or you could meet more girls that already perceive you as higher value. that's what a guy who is high value does. i don't use manipulation except for on extremely hot girls. they respond best to it, and it's not worth the time otherwise.

 

[Seppuku]

Agreed with NM on how to respond.

But you are getting this because you send the wrong message.

Her reaction "I don't want to lead you on" is because she doesn't want to end up dealing with a needy guy sticking to her ass if she makes the step.

Whatever you are doing with girls, you should review it carefully because you are sending vibes of neediness and / or boyfriend. Agreed with NM again, you should not give a shit (that would take care of the neediness) and operate from a position of abundance by moving on to many more new girls all the time.

But first and foremost, why do you absolutely want to kiss her? I think it's probably a huge contributor to your problems. It sends the wrong message and kills sexual tension. Plus, once she has refused the kiss, you are now framed into the chasing role.

To you and to other guys reading this, I say:

Your goal is not to kiss her. Your goal is to introduce a part of yourself into her. Kissing her will not make you closer to your goal. More often than not, it will fire back (like I think it did in this case) and will actually be detrimental to your objective. Change your tactics. Penetrate her FIRST. Only kiss her when you are inside her.

Try it and watch how things improve.

Seppuku

 

[NewBeeWinner]

naturalmikey and Seppuku,

Im not looking to manipulate her into anything. To clarify: I did not kiss her nor was it my goal. My goal was to use sexual tension (which I did) to escalate things.

Towards the end of our interaction, as she was getting out of her car, and at the top of the mountain, I built sexual tension and words were trailing off naturally with tension so I was close to her and she was close to me. I acted as though I was ready to kiss her, but noticed she wasnt ready and backed off. Didnt say anything or move in for the kiss. Just stared into her eyes as we were physically close.

I definately dont care and Im going to see her again later this week.

You do bring up a good point of not having to kiss her. Youre right - I probably made that seem like the goal. But its not the main focus on my mind. Just thought it would happen more naturally with the tension and closeness at the time and she obviously took note.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Now that Ive thought about it.

Yeah, I do care too much. Its pretty damn obvious. I'll be changing that.

Thanks,

NBW