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I'll be living in Stockholm for a few months and would love to talk to anyone who has either visited or lived there. I'm curious what the best approach is.
Haven't been doing pickup in Sweden, nor have I been in Stockholm.
All I can say is the culture is close to that of Denmark's.
Be prepared for sausage fests if you hit the popular bars and clubs.
Start out early to avoid the negative feelings the girls build up through the night.
Girls are shy and reluctant to talk with strangers. Particularly if they're in big groups, so catch them at the bar table as they're buying something.
Being calm and edgy is what gives the best results outside the dance floor. Since they're shy you'll have to degrade your confidence or act very humble but still remain mysterious and edgy. Direct openers with feelings can be very dangerous. Particularly if she has her friends with her who'll be on edge with it or think you a dork as they aren't used to it at all (cockblock alert).
I dunno if it's worse compared to DK in other countries, but in DK girls are VERY attentive about the slut label, so in most cases you will need to focus on breaking that slowly in your conversations.
Most ppl find their gf/bf/lovers through social circles in these parts (90%+).
Day game I haven't tried yet but I'm certain the success rate will be much much higher.
At least that's how it is in DK and the culture in Sweden is similar to that.
You might think I'm sounding all negative and showcasing victim mentality but I'm not. I'm taking a lot of it as a challenge and pressing on but the views I'm giving are from what I've experienced myself and talked with ppl who came from outside DK, who might've been exchange students and very open minded but they couldn't avoid saying that ppl are more alert and introvert in DK compared to their own countries like Germany and Switzerland.
All I can say is the culture is close to that of Denmark's.
Be prepared for sausage fests if you hit the popular bars and clubs.
Start out early to avoid the negative feelings the girls build up through the night.
Girls are shy and reluctant to talk with strangers. Particularly if they're in big groups, so catch them at the bar table as they're buying something.
Being calm and edgy is what gives the best results outside the dance floor. Since they're shy you'll have to degrade your confidence or act very humble but still remain mysterious and edgy. Direct openers with feelings can be very dangerous. Particularly if she has her friends with her who'll be on edge with it or think you a dork as they aren't used to it at all (cockblock alert).
I dunno if it's worse compared to DK in other countries, but in DK girls are VERY attentive about the slut label, so in most cases you will need to focus on breaking that slowly in your conversations.
Most ppl find their gf/bf/lovers through social circles in these parts (90%+).
Day game I haven't tried yet but I'm certain the success rate will be much much higher.
At least that's how it is in DK and the culture in Sweden is similar to that.
You might think I'm sounding all negative and showcasing victim mentality but I'm not. I'm taking a lot of it as a challenge and pressing on but the views I'm giving are from what I've experienced myself and talked with ppl who came from outside DK, who might've been exchange students and very open minded but they couldn't avoid saying that ppl are more alert and introvert in DK compared to their own countries like Germany and Switzerland.
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- Mar 12, 2014
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Thanks for your thoughts man.
I think your part about being humble and less direct off the bat seems right from what I've read about the culture in general. That's definitely my game plan - I'll probably open indirect and play the curious foreigner card. I almost never open indirect in the US.
A couple of things you mentioned seem a little inconsistent with what I've heard about Swedish culture, but I haven't been there yet to confirm. While I've heard it's true that most people meet through social circles and that people tend to seem shy, I also ready that the men are so shy that women often approach more than men. In that sense, I'm not sure the women will be fatigued by the end of the night because they aren't likely fending off aggressive guys at the bar. The other thing I'm not sure about is the slut shaming - Sweden is considered the most egalitarian country in the world and very liberal about sex. I guess we'll find out - I leave for Sweden on Sunday
I think your part about being humble and less direct off the bat seems right from what I've read about the culture in general. That's definitely my game plan - I'll probably open indirect and play the curious foreigner card. I almost never open indirect in the US.
A couple of things you mentioned seem a little inconsistent with what I've heard about Swedish culture, but I haven't been there yet to confirm. While I've heard it's true that most people meet through social circles and that people tend to seem shy, I also ready that the men are so shy that women often approach more than men. In that sense, I'm not sure the women will be fatigued by the end of the night because they aren't likely fending off aggressive guys at the bar. The other thing I'm not sure about is the slut shaming - Sweden is considered the most egalitarian country in the world and very liberal about sex. I guess we'll find out - I leave for Sweden on Sunday
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I have been reading this book the last few days: http://www.amazon.com/The-Almost-Nearly-Perfect-People/dp/0224089625, it is quite amusing and gives some insight into Scandinavian culture. So it might be worth a look. There's a review here: http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/feb/10/perfect-people-nordic-miracle-michael-booth-review. I'm only just reading the section on Sweden now but it does say that Swedes are pretty uncommunicative and don't open up easily, except when they have a Crayfish party https://sweden.se/culture-traditions/the-crayfish-party/, so cold approaching could be a challenge. Be interesting to hear how you get on. I actually approached a Swede the other day in my city... she said she was Swedish so I told her I was reading a book about the Swedish economic miracle... she said something like "huh"... so I cocked an eyebrow... and said "news to you?"... she still didn't bite so I let her continue. Haha. Hopefully you'll have better results than that.
-Ray
PS. Rereading some of the above posts I'd better point out that according to this author the culture in Denmark and Sweden is fairly different especially as concerns social interactions.
-Ray
PS. Rereading some of the above posts I'd better point out that according to this author the culture in Denmark and Sweden is fairly different especially as concerns social interactions.
Intimidator said:The other thing I'm not sure about is the slut shaming - Sweden is considered the most egalitarian country in the world and very liberal about sex. I guess we'll find out - I leave for Sweden on Sunday
DK was the first country in the world to legalise porn yet a lot of ppl are very careful of what they say when it comes to sex and porn. Particularly when girls are nearby. You gotta be very smooth when talking about it to girls you meet as they may find you a sexist.
It might also be because a lot of guys still use the slut label on some girls who are more loose than the typical boring standard. Another viewpoint is that girls who have a lot of girl friends tend to be held down by each other, so a lot must be broken down before you can get the lay else she will learn the slander and jealousy the next day, even from guys. Though girls who don't have many girl friends will be very likely to approach you, as will cougars.
We got pretty much the same model when it comes to politics and its equality. But the equality has become stupid (in some cases) in the way that men has to degrade themselves down to the a lvl the women want. An ex. would be several businesses want half n' half in gender, even if it meant hiring female workers who were less successful or suitable than their male counterparts. Just to showcase that their firm is supporting equality among gender.