apprehension towards escalation

[Geebs]

Hello,

So I'm starting to realize that what is making me apprehensive around women lately is the fact that I've never really had a truly positive sexual experience with a woman and this is playing on my psychey when I in the situations where I should be escalating. An example of what I mean is that the last girl I slept with complained that I did not kiss very well. Although she thought I was really good in bed (made her cum twice!!). However, the fact that she though I did not kiss well is having an impact on me. It's making me afraid that I will turn off a new girl when I start kissing her.

Would anyone have any advice or suggestions that would help me break out of this?

Thanks

 

[diegoC]

I think kisses is one area that may fall into Good or Bad. There are not really many degrees. This is my experience when talking to guys and girls. I haven't heard of scales when it comes down to this ("He is an 8!").

"That guy is a regular kisser", "She is not that bad at kissing", is not something I hear. For my experience is more about "He/She is bad/okay/good/great"

Bad/Okay is BAD.
Good/Great is GOOD.

Then you must aim for great, of course. I really think is not that difficult. In my experience I think I have always been a natural good kisser as well as in sex (I can last like a fucking pornstar. I do actually practiced kegel exercise and techniques when I was teenager because I wanted to endure and be great in bed).

If we are talking about lip kissing, here are some of my recomendations:

• Don't go for tongue-kisses at first: Build excitement. She might even want to get more at one point. It's great if you try to keep it flowing slowly so she gets really turned on to the point where she wants to keep kissing you (make her crave your kisses) like crazy. It will also help escalation.

• Play with kissing styles: So, you give her a square-kiss (like both your lips on top of her), then you kiss her bottom lips, the upper lips, then some lip-tongue-brush (from bottom lip to top lip while your lips are slightly touching) ending with a kiss (maybe more on the upper lip), a little bite on her lower lip (don't thing upper bitting is sexy. I think they don't even like it that much), then some tongue action.

• Don't force her: It means not to force your kissing style. Build her desire with your kissing. There will be a moment (depending on the girl) when she will clearly start doing this and you will know what she likes. If she does it, she likes it back (that's why when learning oral sex I would recommend girl on girl scenes. Although male pornstars know what they are doing, sure). Some girls like a lot of tongue when kissing, others lightly touch. I usually kiss the tongue when they are putting it in my mouth (I don't know if girls like this or not but when they have imitated my move, I like it . Doing this will help you know what she likes.

• Start making out: This means kissing her with the mouth wide open. This will be when she is really horny, excited about kissing you. You will know because, now, she will start being really forward with the kissing because her excitement level will be of the roof (probably she will be making sounds like moaning)

• Keep going back to other styles: Don't get stuck on this open mouth all the time.

• Give some break: I started using it because I got tired. Eventually it became part of my style to stop and resume. Give her some intense look, look at her lips, then make eye contact again and compliment her on her lips, kissing, something relevant.

• Use other type of touching: Is not related with the kiss, but is good to give her more stimulus. So, while kissing her, slowly brush your fingertips on her skin (arms, thighs, side of her body, neck, etc) in different parts of her body. Don't jump from place to place like crazy. Make it flow in a natural way.

This is the advice I can give you. And, don't be afraid to practice with the top of your closed fist (I did it when I was younger and I hadn't kissed no one).

Cheers!

 

[Clout]

I did not kiss very well

Firstly lets add 'yet' to the end of that.

Like most things in life, experience will make you better. Although I do believe that how confident you feel effects all aspects of sexual interaction. When you get into a sexual interaction, as long as you have done it once before just go with it...you already know what to expect.

It's better to ask forgiveness than permission.

Women want you to be "in the moment", not a robot (they sense it). If you know deep down that you want to satisfy women and not just yourself, do what you enjoy...she will probably enjoy it too.

 

[Tyme2k]

Kissing is easier than you think. The trick is to hold back. You never want a full open mouth or your toungue down her throat. Think of it just like pickup, get her chasing/investing in you. The kiss should be give/take, open your mouth more and more, then close it and pull back. Tease them and they will start pushing more to you. I also place levels of passion on kissing, I've practiced this with one of my FB's that is good at kissing, she is who I really observed the give take cause she wont give all her toungue, it makes you want it even more.

Levels:

1. Close mouth with pouted lips - can be escalated by pressing slightly harder towards them, pulling them clsoer.
2. loose mouth slightly open almost like a dam that slightly opens the gates to let a little flow through. Open to clsoe pouting lips and returning to normal, repeat.
3. more open, little toungue. This is where you suck her bottom lip and pull it slightly away. You don't want to hurt it with biting, but just suck enough to pull it away and return to kissing.
4. 75% open mouth, tougue - give/take. Never go strait to this level always escalate. Try to keep saliva at a minimum.

Best way is find a girl that's a good kisser and practice. It's fun ans will get you better. I think the main key is to focus on the levels and your motions. Eventually it will become natural with enough practice.