So today I saw this girl at the cafe.
I pre-opened by asking her to watch over my stuff. Then I came back and some 20 min later approached her again.
She was sitting some 10m from me so I stood up, walked up to her and asked her something that developed into a talk ( I also had to do the same first time I pre-opened, it was a very quick and informal request). Before we spoke she was with the headphones on all the time, really focused on her laptop. When I pre-opened she was receptive, when I opened the main approach she was quite talkative, smiling, asking questions back.
But I was standing and she was sitting. So I asked if it was ok to sit with her. This is when I noticed she got a bit uncomfortable with my request, looked at her laptop and said she was in the middle of something (not directly, but I noticed discomfort). We were talking for some 3-4 mins.
me: "oh you are busy, sending an email to prime minister or something?"
her: haha, no my boss needs me to send her this presentation asap (strange, it was Friday, 6pm, so offices should be closing and there is the whole weekend to finish whatever is to finish, so the urgency is doubtful, however she worked for Germany, so different timezone, she is a lawyer and well, maybe there was urgent stuff, I dunno..)
I still just sat down next to her, with a chair in between, like no big deal, kinda ignored she was busy-whatever and kept talking to her.
However since she signaled she was busy, I decided to wrap it up and told her we should meet for a coffee. I took her number but didn't set up the date (perhaps this was the mistake, this would have clearly signal if she was interested or not) Then we spoke for another minute or so and I said I also had to go, had stuff to do. I left, went back to my table, stayed for 3-5 mins, packed my stuff said bye to her again at a distance and left.
2h later texted her with my contact, didn't get a reply yet.
The important thing here is:
When she signaled she was busy, what is the correct way to act? Is it a test? Or is she brushing you off?
This time I decided to do something in the middle. I acknowledged I got she was busy, but kept talking to her normally, just I didn't deep-dive and didn't try to make the talk more personal. I directed it straight away to getting her number (no setting date though) and leaving.
What is the best reaction to this? Wrap it up or just ignore and keep going normally? I mean a girl that is interested will find 10 min to talk to you will she? Would she risk to brush you off like this by testing you? She would probably show she has some time, right?
Should I set the date if there wasn't much personal talk and the conversation had to be shortened? On one hand it could give me a good idea about her interest, but then I didn't develop much rapport, so I may be rejected over that. But then again, if I don't set the date and leave it for later over text, does it improve my chances?.. Or it's better to just shoot for the date and see what happens even if there wasn't much rapport built?..
extra question: if she doesn't reply when you send the "Hi NAME nice to meet you today, save my number YOURNAME." message, is it game over? Or still worth pining her the next day or in 2 days? I never do it, but maybe its my pride speaking and it's worth a shot?
Best!
PS: Should I post this here or in field reports forum?..
I pre-opened by asking her to watch over my stuff. Then I came back and some 20 min later approached her again.
She was sitting some 10m from me so I stood up, walked up to her and asked her something that developed into a talk ( I also had to do the same first time I pre-opened, it was a very quick and informal request). Before we spoke she was with the headphones on all the time, really focused on her laptop. When I pre-opened she was receptive, when I opened the main approach she was quite talkative, smiling, asking questions back.
But I was standing and she was sitting. So I asked if it was ok to sit with her. This is when I noticed she got a bit uncomfortable with my request, looked at her laptop and said she was in the middle of something (not directly, but I noticed discomfort). We were talking for some 3-4 mins.
me: "oh you are busy, sending an email to prime minister or something?"
her: haha, no my boss needs me to send her this presentation asap (strange, it was Friday, 6pm, so offices should be closing and there is the whole weekend to finish whatever is to finish, so the urgency is doubtful, however she worked for Germany, so different timezone, she is a lawyer and well, maybe there was urgent stuff, I dunno..)
I still just sat down next to her, with a chair in between, like no big deal, kinda ignored she was busy-whatever and kept talking to her.
However since she signaled she was busy, I decided to wrap it up and told her we should meet for a coffee. I took her number but didn't set up the date (perhaps this was the mistake, this would have clearly signal if she was interested or not) Then we spoke for another minute or so and I said I also had to go, had stuff to do. I left, went back to my table, stayed for 3-5 mins, packed my stuff said bye to her again at a distance and left.
2h later texted her with my contact, didn't get a reply yet.
The important thing here is:
When she signaled she was busy, what is the correct way to act? Is it a test? Or is she brushing you off?
This time I decided to do something in the middle. I acknowledged I got she was busy, but kept talking to her normally, just I didn't deep-dive and didn't try to make the talk more personal. I directed it straight away to getting her number (no setting date though) and leaving.
What is the best reaction to this? Wrap it up or just ignore and keep going normally? I mean a girl that is interested will find 10 min to talk to you will she? Would she risk to brush you off like this by testing you? She would probably show she has some time, right?
Should I set the date if there wasn't much personal talk and the conversation had to be shortened? On one hand it could give me a good idea about her interest, but then I didn't develop much rapport, so I may be rejected over that. But then again, if I don't set the date and leave it for later over text, does it improve my chances?.. Or it's better to just shoot for the date and see what happens even if there wasn't much rapport built?..
extra question: if she doesn't reply when you send the "Hi NAME nice to meet you today, save my number YOURNAME." message, is it game over? Or still worth pining her the next day or in 2 days? I never do it, but maybe its my pride speaking and it's worth a shot?
Best!
PS: Should I post this here or in field reports forum?..
