Approach Anxeity Curse , I just need support !

[user3423424]

Hi , Everyone

First , I would like to introduce myself .My name is Jimmy and I'm 19 . I'm been trying really hard to get better with Women over the past month and I feel , I'm not progressing as much as I would like too.

I'm a guy who usually wouldn't ask for help , without putting in a lot of effort into solving a problem but this time I can't figure out any possible solution that would solve my problem .
The current problem , I'm having at the moment is I can't approach women at day time . I'm been recently going out a lot lately and usually my mind starts off in a good mental state like I'm prepared to do and I tell myself , I will succeed but when I'm out in the big streets and I haven't approach anyone , My mind began to turn negative with all these bad thoughts and excuses coming in such as " I can't do this " , "Why don"t you go home " etc.

And because I'm out in the streets using my mind to consistently scout for women , this requires the mind to be really focused as we have to make real time decision immediately so any small distraction such as the thought of sweeties or food .,etc will immediately cause our mind to re evaluate our decision such as " Alright , I might feel better if I grab a chocolate or something " and when it does , my mind starts to think of other ways of giving up such going home because it's a straight forward method .

So , I don't know how to shift my mind from this negative mental head space into a positive head space . It's really difficult . I read all chase articles about how to overcome approach anxiety such spending 100 hours before giving up and understanding why we can't approach women because of a certain part of our brain which stops us but it doesn't help , I understand my mind creates all these fears and in order to overcome it is by swamping the memories into positive ones but it doesn't help . This body literally does not want to move.

Sometimes I would go out with a friend and he will able to give me confident to approach 10 women but when I attempt to do it the next day by myself . I can't do it when my mind is in a negative head space . I feel this is a big game stopper for me because it wouldn't allow me to practice other techniques such as conversation thread etc as I am unable to overcome the first obstacle of approaching women .

Can someone kindly help me .

thank you everyone for reading this

 

[Grand Pooba]

Hey there Jimmy,

I'd suggest following the Newbie Assignment, as I think this will really help you understand and get over your approach anxiety.
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=34

It takes place over a few days and slowly ramps up the intensity of how you approach.

Alright , I might feel better if I grab a chocolate or something " and when it does , my mind starts to think of other ways of giving up such going home because it's a straight forward method .

On GirlsChase this is dubbed Effort Aversion. There's an article on that:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/effor ... d-get-laid

I'd say you start by telling yourself you're NOT going to go home, no matter what, until you finish "X" assignment. The "X" can be anything that you feel is almost attainable. For you, right now that might be stopping a girl, or two girls, or eight girls, just to shake her hand and say hi, or it could be something else. Maybe in a few weeks it will become asking a girl, or two girls, or eight girls for their phone number. Maybe in a few months it will be how to escalate when she's alone with you in your room. Just remember that everyone starts somewhere, and it can be really tough to start, but you have to DO it to win.

It gets easier the more you do it, but you have to start.

 

[metomeya]

Check this thread out:
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3930

 

[Just_Dave]

Among what everyone has already suggested, I will make a few simple ones.

Do you know where....? When I first started approaching women to engage in conversations and not weird them out, I asked them basic questions to interact with them at the start.

Example 1: In the grocery store, in the cereal aisle
Me: Hey miss, do you know where the Reese's Puffs are?
Girl: *Looks a moment* Oh they're right there.
Me: Wow I would've been looking forever if it weren't for you.
Girl: No problem
*If you want to continue the conversation you can, but this is just a way to get you started without freaking yourself out*

Example 2: In the mall, looking for *insert store here*
Me: *Looking around* *Sees a couple girls about to walk by*
Me: Hey real quick *extending hand as if to ask something in a non-alarming manner*
Girl: Uh yes?
Me: Do you know where *generic store* is?
Girl: Oh um, I believe it's straight down there
*Once again for demonstrations purposes so you don't freak out*

I've used these to get girls on instant dates before, but this is just for getting you to interact with women around you. The best part is you can tell your brain to relax cause you're just asking for where such and such is.

Note: Avoid words such as excuse and sorry. A sexy man doesn't need to apologize and make the woman feel like he's some unwanted guest or a dweeb.

 

[Mr.Rob]

I agree with just_DAVe. Start out small homie. Bite off small pieces and work on them till you get comfortable. You have the rest of your life to learn this stuff (though nobody knows how long or short that is). I'm sure you've asked a girl, whether attractive or not, for the time before. Go out and ask 4 girls for the time tomorrow and call it a day. Create your regimine to accommodate your needs. You don't have to go out and open 20 girls with direct interest the first day you go out. Start small and work your way up chief.

Rob

 

[Zoro]

I want to eloborate on Just Dave's response.

The reason you approach girls is to see if they are interested in you and willing moving things along.

You will meet girls who blow you off, girls who politely continue conversation and girls who re-engage with you because they want you.

A good seducer picks up on which girls are interested and willing to get together and then... moves things along.

Knowing this you may have an easier time opening than thinking, "I'm opening this girl to bring her home tonight" which may put a lot of pressure on you.

So just say hi, have a little conversation and tune into whats going on in the interaction. Stop worrying so much about the outcome and worry about experience. Just like painting a master piece, you have to paint a lot. The best part is some of the early works may surprise you and come out great, some will definitely teach you great lessons, and others will frustrate you.

Along your day when you run into a girl, make some small talk, ask yourself what happened and what you could have done better, then rinse and repeat. Go more direct eventually, but just get your foot in the door with small steps.

The things taught on GC are basically tools to help up your odds of girls being into you and you being able to pick up on those signs and move things along.

You got the knowledge, get the experience.