Approaching again? (when prior interaction went fine)

[diegoC]

When an interaction goes well (maybe you already exchange numbers) but for whatever reason she leaves (her friend pushing for something, whatever), any tips worth knowing for approaching again?

Happened to me tonight. I exchange number with a girls and her friend eventually took her. Later she appeared in my line of sight but I just "didn't" notice her. She passed in front of me, we made eye contact -couldn't avoid it-, she break it and went to the other side. Still, using my peripherals I could see she was looking for me to notice her but I still didn't do it. Maybe I should have approached?

Cheers!

 

[trashKENNUT]

diegoC,

When an interaction goes well (maybe you already exchange numbers) but for whatever reason she leaves (her friend pushing for something, whatever), any tips worth knowing for approaching again?

Happened to me tonight. I exchange number with a girls and her friend eventually took her. Later she appeared in my line of sight but I just "didn't" notice her. She passed in front of me, we made eye contact -couldn't avoid it-, she break it and went to the other side. Still, using my peripherals I could see she was looking for me to notice her but I still didn't do it. Maybe I should have approached?

I think you did well. If you were to approached her, and do not have a great conversation with her then, her friend might cockblock you and you lose her altogether. Otherwise if you great with conversation, you can somewhat have her friend encourage her to go with you.

Well for that one, is another level.

Zac

 

[diegoC]

I think you did well. If you were to approached her, and do not have a great conversation with her then, her friend might cockblock you and you lose her altogether. Otherwise if you great with conversation, you can somewhat have her friend encourage her to go with you.

Well for that one, is another level.

Thanks. I guess it would have been really hard for me to pull her. She probably wouldn't feel okay leaving her friend alone. And, I don't have wingmen to help. I always go solo.

To me, the interaction was not a good one (because I know which things I should try to make improve conversations ) but I think, to her, it was okay (she also replied my icebreaker text "Hi! It was good to meet a fellow country guy. We'll be in touch." 2 hours later I just replied "").

Anyway, she really wanted for me to approach again. I knew it (Doing the same before the firs time I approached: looking, using her friend to tell her. I spot this things so easily).


In the case an interaction went really fine and a girl is with more than one person, what are some techniques for that second approach. Go directly, maneuver your way so you just "happened" to be near her?

Cheers!

 

[Chase]

Diego-

The challenge is that if a friend's pulled her away, if you try approaching again the friend will pull her away immediately the majority of the time. These rarely go well unless:

• 1. You get her to approach you, or
  
  2. You verbally overpower the friend

That first one looks like this: you see the girl again, catch her eye, smile, and wave her over. If she comes, great. If she doesn't, she just wanted attention, and you can safely move onto someone else.

The second one looks like this: you walk up, ready for the friend to pull her away and prepared to respond. You start talking to her, "I see you survived the dance floor-" and then immediately stop her friend when the friend turns to pull her away again: "Excuse me, please don't be rude, your friend and I are talking. You can have her back in a minute or two if she also wants to leave." If you're a) short, b) to the point, and c) firm and authoritative enough on this, you can usually shock most of these girls, who aren't used to be called out on their behavior - and then you IMMEDIATELY start talking to the girl of your choice, smiling, flirting, as if nothing had happened. The usual effect is that the girl interfering is stunned and feels socially awkward, but she can't lash out at you because you're talking to her friend and (assuming the friend does like you) both you and the friend are being social and cool and friendly, and if she lashes out it makes her look even more socially awkward. So all she can do is pout... which... sucks, because usually you want the friend on your side. If she's going to make it a pitched battle though where it's her vs. you, you've got to disable her cockblock attempts.

Chase

 

[diegoC]

Noted Chase, thanks!