approaching her without an agenda?

[Smith]

Hey guys,

This phase has been bothering me a little for a while now. I've heard a lot of advanced guys say you have to approach a girl 'without an agenda', or she's going to sense that you want something from her and she's not going to like that.

It's a very conflicting mindset for me because on the other hand you want your intent to be clear i.e. "yes I want to fuck you", but you don't wanna go in with an agenda.

so how does this fit? I hope u understand what I mean.

Cheers

- Smith

 

[Rage]

Hey Smith,

"Without an agenda" is kind of a misnomer; it means being calibrated and certain/deliberate too with what you do on the outside: if you choose to open direct you choose to if you choose to be smooth indirect and proceed from their you do so. This also means being able to have right eye contact and fundamentals and have it match what you give the girl in the approach + interaction.

Guys that are "going in with an agenda" you can think of as the guys that open but do so without the fundamentals and sexiness needed to get a woman to be into them from the beginning. You can think of the guys hitting on the chick from the video here viewtopic.php?f=8&t=8435 some of them go direct some go indirect, all are socially uncalibrated with lacking fundamentals and technical ability with women. So they "have an agenda" which women can be upset about because they're not men doing a good job attracting her or getting her to chase. If a sexy guy with well versed fundamentals approaches a woman on the street he is attractive and hot and intense (according to the girl) and it doesn't count much or isn't thouht about much (by the girl) that you "went in with an agenda".

Just some smooth guy she met and was into

-Gem

 

[Drck]

Try to change the "I want to fuck her" to "I want to fuck - but for now I just want to talk to her".

Then you TALK TO HER FIRST - and see if there are decent vibes. If so, ONLY THEN you decide if you want to continue. Basically, if there are no decent vibes or if she is not interested, you simply walk away. It was just a talk, nothing else. This way you still have plenty of sexual intent but at the same time you are not fixated on that particular girl. On the other hand, if she is interested, then you can change to "I want to fuck her" and you continue - get number, setup a date and so forth.

Many guys have agenda "I have to approach her, I'll get her phone number, I'll go home and call her later and setup a date" or so. They are screwing themselves up with this attitude because their mission is to "approach and get a number, then call for date", thus they are blind in a sense they don't even have a clue if there are good vibes at first place.

As a matter of fact, you want to "draw her in", so your intention while interacting with her should just be "I want to fuck" (and not "I want to fuck her"). This way you are not focusing your intent directly upon her, you just have it open for 'any' girl, and she should - ideally - join you because you are projecting enough sexuality without being needy...

 

[Smith]

Thanks Gem and Drck!

Guys that are "going in with an agenda" you can think of as the guys that open but do so without the fundamentals and sexiness needed to get a woman to be into them from the beginning. You can think of the guys hitting on the chick from the video here viewtopic.php?f=8&t=8435 some of them go direct some go indirect, all are socially uncalibrated with lacking fundamentals and technical ability with women. So they "have an agenda" which women can be upset about because they're not men doing a good job attracting her or getting her to chase. If a sexy guy with well versed fundamentals approaches a woman on the street he is attractive and hot and intense (according to the girl) and it doesn't count much or isn't thouht about much (by the girl) that you "went in with an agenda".

Yes I see, it doesn't matter in the end if you're smooth and calibrated

As a matter of fact, you want to "draw her in", so your intention while interacting with her should just be "I want to fuck" (and not "I want to fuck her"). This way you are not focusing your intent directly upon her, you just have it open for 'any' girl, and she should - ideally - join you because you are projecting enough sexuality without being needy...

That's a very good intent! It's not too needy and outcome dependent but it still express sexual interest! Awesome!
I went out today with the initial intent of "She's cute and she turns me on. I'm going to meet her and just vibe to see if she's cool too"
It puts a lot less pressure on me cuz I don't have a 'mission' to get her number or date. It's great to let things flow naturally!

- Smith