Are You "Hot, or Not"?

[AFCnoob]

Site: hotornot.com
Function: post pics and get yourself rated, interesting exercise in perception

I forget the exact post I was reading on the GirlsChase blog, but the author mentioned the website "Hot or Not". If you want to get a general idea of how people view you (at least in pictures of yourself), I strongly suggest making an account. I would also like to share some interesting realizations I've had since making an account:

(1) I have spent most of my life with very little, or no idea of how good or bad I look to others. In fact, I would ignore the issue.
(2) I honestly believed I had a poor ability for gauging my own attractiveness and the attractiveness of others
(3) Once I started paying attention, I quickly became a rather excellent judge of how good other people looked, as well as how good I looked
(4) Objectively, I am not an extremely good looking person, even in a flattering picture. On average, I'm rated just slightly above average (6.43)

and the most interesting/valuable revelation of all:
(5)--(4) doesn't matter at all, because subjectively I am both horrible looking, and great looking--to different people.

I was amazed to discover that on an individual basis, I would get ratings all across the board--from 4's to 10's for the exact same image! The distribution also seemed completely random. Ugly people would rate me very high and very low, as would some very attractive people. I've always taken the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" to apply to a third party being observed, I never imagined it could apply to people observing me. I would look at attractive women around me and think something like "That girl is way too attractive, she'll never find me attractive". Now I know better: regardless of how a girl looks, I might just happen to be her type, and she might find me very attractive indeed.

This has completely changed my attitude about my looks and approaching women, and given me a ton of confidence, not because I think I look good (again, just barely above average), but because I've realized that my attractiveness is not a fixed value like my height, but a very subjective thing that is based largely on the perception of other people!

 

[Eric]

I particularly find the "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" phrase to be limiting and I've rejected it ever since my professor brought it up. His point was that no, beauty is not subjective. It makes sense; you'll see stories of fantasy worlds where what if.. everyone was ugly and the pretty ones were unwanted in this new world. Well, it is quite easier to 'ugly' yourself up rather than look pretty. It's harder to be fit rather than fat. To have nice features rather than scars. To have good style rather than cheap baggy clothes. To have a gritty and sexy vibe rather than an inexperience and weak one.

I'm thankful though, it means there's a skill gap. A skill gap means there is more room to get ahead and be above others, to be different and unique.

 

[AFCnoob]

Well, there is certainly a whole lot you can do to dramatically improve your appearance and the impression you give people, which includes everything from simple hygiene to style to fitness to outlook to vibe and everything. You can certainly work hard and put your best foot forward (way forward).

At the same time, you're not going to change shape of our nose or jawline (without heavy makeup or reconstructive surgery). You can't make yourself into a mesomorph if you're an ectomorph (like I am), it's just not going to happen. What seems comforting about that to me, is there are always people for which your particular combination of physical features is actually a plus (maybe a big plus). So in the area of physical appearance alone, it seems to be a combination of what you're given, what you do with it, and the way others feel about it.

What's even more comforting is that ultimately, physical appearance only counts for a portion of attraction, and the better your skills in other areas, the less it really matters. Now that I can get behind.

 

[Eric]

Mmm, in regards to [meso/ecto/endo]morphs.. a common thought to this is not the body's actual genetic / inherent shape but rather that as a result of dietary influences and habits. For instance, one commonality between ectomorphs is their thought process behind eating. They tend to see food as fuel, and will often go for periods without eating simply because they don't feel like it. This is a habit, and can be trained. Religious practioners often go long periods without food, and there is also a weight loss / maintenance lifestyle called intermittent fasting.

Won't comment much on the ethics of reconstructive surgery, but again it's easier to mess your face up rather than fix it.

It's funny what attraction can hide though, you'll often all under it's spell and it's only until you really give a good look at someone that you see their flaws.

 

[trashKENNUT]

It's funny what attraction can hide though, you'll often all under it's spell and it's only until you really give a good look at someone that you see their flaws.

yeap, Attraction and Love is like a spell if not careful. Most men out there almost universally believe there's the 'one' out there.

i mean it is surely feel safe and exciting to feel like you in a story book of life rather than writing yourself one.

btw, in my opinion, i don't think anyone is physically ugly. Maybe if you do, it helps to believe that if you have confidence and a cool personality, i think it creates an mystery effect, "He is more than just this face".

 

[Rationalis]

You are definitely right about attractiveness but I feel there is one caveat. I believe that universal attractiveness exists. People tend to prefer more symmetrical faces, people tend to prefer different features to others. There are certain things that are attractive to most people most of the time. Most people prefer straight noses to blunt or squashed noses. More people prefer a mesomorph body build rather than an ectomorph or endomorph one. More women prefer Brad Pitt over Daniel Craig. You see what I'm getting at here?

Also even if a person doesn't necessarily find a member of the opposite sex attractive, they can generally agree that they are not necessarily an unattractive person in general. For example: I don't necessarily find straight-haired blonde women attractive, but that doesn't mean they're ugly or have unappealing features.

 

[Anonymous]

Do you guys know any good alternative to hotornot? I've signed up there, added a few pictures, but it hardly gets any votes. I guess if you go for the payed subscription, it's a different story.

 

[D3.]

I used that website before for that, but results were difficult to dissect because I didnt have many photos to show. On good photos, Id get between 6-7, and on bad ones between 5-6. so I guess Im around that part, even though I would enjoy having some consistent results.

For more votes I think you just have to vote around other people's photos, but mostly its something you pay I guess