Aren't dating coaches simply bull shitters ?

[Bboy100]

There is plenty of in-field video available online of guys being successful. For example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1I3DYtZ4L0
That's a video of a guy doing Day Game from start to finish. Not just highlights. No cutoffs. You see him going from the moment he goes out till the moment he goes home with the girl.

As for why YOU personally can't find success after so much effort? We would need to know more information about who you are. But here are some common reasons:
1. You're getting terrible advice. You're right that there are a lot of "bullshitters" out there. Lots of dating material is absolute garbage. And it can be hard to tell what's good and what's not. But there absolutely is good material out there. You just gotta sift through all the bullshit to find the Diamond in the ruff.
2. There's something very fundamentally wrong about the way you present yourself. Either you don't groom yourself, you don't workout, you don't put any effort into the way you dress, or you're so desperate for female attention that women can smell it from talking to you for only a few minutes or less.
3. You haven't really tried that much. You might have read a lot of material and talked to a lot of coaches, but if you've only approached 20 women in your life, none of it will help you. There is a period of time at the start where you get no results and it feels like none of this stuff works. If you stick with it, I promise you women will eventually start to enjoy your presence more and you'll start seeing results.

P.S.
If I lived near you, I would accept your challenge in a heartbeat. I guarantee you that if we went to a club on a Friday or Saturday, I will have at the very least made out with one girl. And there's a reasonable chance I will have taken her home. And I've had literally over 100 dates from Tinder alone (I used to count them but I lost track at around 54 or 55 lol). I even have screenshots of girls soliciting me for sex off the thing lol. So online dating definitely works if you know how to do it

 

[PrettyDecent]

One_of_kind_200,

Who were your coaches? There are definitely a lot of bullshitters out there. They're in every field you can name; martial arts teachers, guitar teachers, PUA teachers, etc.

The one I recommend for in-field coaching are The Natural Lifestyles. I've done coaching with them, and it improved my results immediately. They're like doctors when it comes to diagnosing girl issues you have.

Sorry to hear you haven't had much results from PUA. GirlsChase has a lot of great material. Get coaching from one of them. I'd recommend Hector. Or try the Natural Lifestyles.

Good luck!

Nick

 

[Bboy100]

Very good example of I've been talking about guys bragging off. I live in LA - come and show me. And certainly, you did not that number of from Tinder. You probably only got 2 in 5 years period.

Everything I wrote is true. I have no incentive to lie to a random stranger on the internet. I will not come to LA, but if you're ever in the Seattle area, feel free to let me know and I"ll take you up on your bet. Having said that, you're actually right. As I reread my post, that last part did kinda look like I'm bragging. That was not my intention. I should have written it with a different tone to better convey my point.

The reason I said what I said was to show that I (along with many other members on this forum) are a counterexample to "all coaches are bullshitters" and "approaching doesn't work". I started out in the same position as you or worse (I was literally a kissless virgin prior to joining this forum) and although I'm by no means a master, I'm certainly doing much better than the average guy now. There are plenty of guys here who started in the same place as us and got good by putting in work.

So my point is...if you shed the victim mentality and take responsibility for your dating life instead of saying "fuckit, nothing works. Might as well quit", you'll eventually start to see results. Believe it or not, that's a decision you make. You can decide right now that there is a way to get what you want out of dating and that you'll do whatever it takes to achieve it. Then get to work. You'll have a lot of failures along the way. You'll get a lot of ineffective advice and do a lot of stupid shit. Sometimes, it'll feel completely hopeless. But eventually, you'll get there if you're persistent. Or you can accept where you're at right now (which to be fair, is a viable option! If you think there are other things in your life which are more important to you, then maybe putting in that kind of effort isn't worth it!). The choice is yours to make. But regardless of what you choose, you need to accept what that means. Either you'll put in work till you get what you want out of your dating life or you make peace with the fact that you don't have it. There's really no reason to quit then complain about how unfair it is or how nothing works. That helps no one. And it hurts you.

 

[Rusty]

It's easy to be cynical and feel like things don't work, especially if you've never had any success or experience in a certain area of your life.

Imagine attempting to be an elite 3 point shooter in basketball but only picking up a basketball once in a while, tossing a few heaves, using poor technique, getting bad coaching for it, and having no one who understands the fundamentals of shooting a basketball try to help you diagnose your issues and weaknesses. You're not gonna make it very far as a basketball player.

You can't expect to get good at shooting a basketball tossing a few shots every now and then, with bad technique, little or no feedback, and coaching from ignorant or stupid people. It's same with any other field.

Sure, maybe you toss the ball in a couple times... out of 100 bad heaves. Everyone gets lucky.

If you want to get real success, beyond luck, you're gonna have to find it. School doesn't teach you social skills or how to attract women, but some guys just pick it up from intuitive sense and being around women. It's not a skill that you need coaching for, but it can help you if you've never had success or don't know how to start.

I've never had any coaching, live or otherwise. I've posted on forums, read articles, watched videos of exemplars, imitated movie actors, modeled body language and spent time around guys who are good with women. I probably have cold approached ~100 women over the past 3-4 years... a miniscule amount. But I've also met hundreds of women through my job, interacting with them, flirting with friends of friends, meeting women through school and work, having women approach me in bars and clubs... I'm not actively approaching all the time, and I still have a modicum of success with women.

I'm not terribly good looking. I'm not super tall. I'm slim, not well built at all. Yet, I routinely get attention from women and very subtle approach invitations. Do I always grab them? No. But my goals aren't to bed a 100+ women. My goals have nothing to do with women at all. And I've found that being a chill, sociable, laidback person who interacts with people in a non-needy way, with no hidden agenda, brings me into contact with women without even trying.

The first thing you need to do, is get someone to give you an honest evaluation of your self. Preferably a woman. Your style, your haircut, your body language, the way you speak, the way you deal with people, how people respond to you.

Are you sociable? Do you have friends? Do you have an edge? Do you give off a warm, friendly vibe, or do you creep women out? Do women ever check you out, or give you smiles or eye contact of any sort?

You need to establish a baseline of where you're at, and then work towards correcting your fundamentals. Body language, self-image (internal: self-esteem and external: style, vibe), vocal tonality. Eye contact. These things alone can produce results. Without spitting any game.

 

[Franco]

Fellas,

I went ahead and gave One_of_kind_200 the "boot" and deleted his messages because he was obviously here just to stir up trouble.

...carry on. =)

- Franco

 

[.....]

I knew it, he was gonna get banned or something.

Good call franco, although i thought he could actually change by coming here. Guess i was wrong.