Article of Chase aboud cads and dads and how it ties into preselection

[DarkKnight]

Something finally clicked with me after reading Chase current article. We all know how powerful preselection is, it has made girls obsessed with me who at first rejected me because they saw me with another girl. Or it even did the reverse, a girl I am gaming, seemingly into me who takes my focus, even if I fail to close for whatever reason (she must have bad taste) causes other girls to become obsessed with me and indeed treat me like a cad...

For fun I even made this list of girls I know who see me as a cad and those who see me as a dad, and in the end I could draw one big conclusion from the girls who see me as a cad: Either they were heavily triggered by preselection which made an imprint, or I was very smooth and indifferent, even when they rebuffed me, basically they fell of my mind, causing these girls to see me as a catch. And probably without me being aware of it, a lot of times a combination of these two.

The cases where I was not seen as a cad where the ones, where I was more invested than the girl was, for whatever reason. Girl didnt even need to be the hottest of girls I am getting, sometimes even slightly above average chicks who fit my own social frame. I recall there was another article of chase where he mentioned "how to like a girl less than she likes you" and he had these 4 categories of how much you invest in a girl, around 18 percent was optimal instead of 40, which was already too invested. 3 was very low and killed your attainability. This probably ties into indifference and preselection again, which triggers the girl you are talking to.

I also believe this investing thing should be done not as a tactic, each time I do this as a purposeful tactic, when I am actively gaming a girl passively.. they know I am doing this. They still feel you are indirectly investing a lot. But when your indifference turns genuine, they tune in..

This is probably also the reason why you should make nothing a big deal. (unless the girl does something terrible), it again kills becoming a cad instead of a dad in their eyes. I notice girls who rebuff me tripping up when they notice I dont continue to game them, not out of spite but those who fall off my mind. Obviously you need to re-encounter these to have this happen.

I don't know why I am so enthusiastic about this finally clicking but it kind of blew my mind when combining the cad/dad paradigm with preselection.
I believe this knowledge will be helpful with further attuning my vibe for optimal seductions.

 

[KJ Francis]

I love this kind of theory... @AugusteLoves I think this ties into the whole being unflappable thing. See how he mentions it is why nothing should be a big deal to you. Why? Cause "I don't chase em, I replace em".

If you're unphased, it signals you have options, which means you are preselected. If a girl flakes on you or is resistant and you can display non needy persistance, I really do think this causes her subconscious to trigger "oh, other girls must like him, and by default, now I like him too". Also shows she can trust you and feel comfortable knowing you're not a danger of exploding on her with a 180 personality flip.

 

[KJ Francis]

I think one of Chase's really recent articles touched on this. I forget which one but it was going over the lover provider dynamic. Oh! It was the one about girls choosing the "wrong guys".

Girls primarily want to turn the cad into a dad. This is preferred to her by far than starting with a less sexy dad type. The girl who mates with the dad type is only doing so because she couldn't tame the cad.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I love how you presented this, I feel I’ve logically understood it, it’s a different thing if I deeply feel it though.

Maybe I should just be more forward with girls I meet more usually in order to activate it. Because sometimes I feel like it will be bad for the social situation if I get rebuffed and we have to be seeing each other again and again, but maybe just being cool about it can make things smooth and even turn them around. I’ve probably been too careful in social circle scenarios not wanting to cause discomfort and awkwardness in case of such rejections.

Which is why I like cold approach, you can approach, get rejected and just continue your life without affecting any social function, which I love. The only problem is this:

Obviously you need to re-encounter these to have this happen.

Because it obviously doesn’t happen when you go cold in the street and get rejected. In fact I have felt it a bit, when getting rebuffed in a club, and then I happen to talk to the girl again after a while being cool and still interested, and you can see in her eyes a: “Wait he wasn’t really affected by the rejection? He just seems cool and that he is interested but he could do without me”. Still you need some time around her though for it to properly work.

 

[DarkKnight]

The girl who mates with the dad type is only doing so because she couldn't tame the cad.

This also makes me think about when girls tend to say about some guy "I think he will be a good dad one day." Basically THE sign she sees him as a provider

I love how you presented this, I feel I’ve logically understood it, it’s a different thing if I deeply feel it though.

I feel a bit ashamed that it clicked so late with me lol. Obviously I understood preselection very superficially

Maybe I should just be more forward with girls I meet more usually in order to activate it. Because sometimes I feel like it will be bad for the social situation if I get rebuffed and we have to be seeing each other again and again

I care less about this unless there is real reputation threat and you can get kicked out of the venue. @S!mba tells me I am an expert in skirting just below the radar. When there is room however I can give strong pushes especially if there has been a lot of dilly dallyong or the girl gives a very big AI.

I honestly dont care if I will see the girl again and again because I trust myself enough to know I will be cool about it, socialize and charm others so that one girls reaction doesnt become a big deal. This is replacing and not chasing in social circles. I tend to be good with drawing eyes on me and holding court. So not a big deal

I do avoid girls who rebuff me a bit though because I find those small things can give you negative feedback and interrupt your mojo. However when they chase you again they have reversed dynamics and I engage them

“Wait he wasn’t really affected by the rejection? He just seems cool and that he is interested but he could do without me”. Still you need some time around her though for it to properly work.

I think it also becomes the same as a ball in her court kind if interaction. Perhaps she thought she had time with you to long game until she sees you with other girls and can increase your scarcity. Honestly I do not dare to say what they are thinking in general because there is a lot of variability.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I honestly dont care if I will see the girl again and again because I trust myself enough to know I will be cool about it, socialize and charm others so that one girls reaction doesnt become a big deal. This is replacing and not chasing in social circles. I tend to be good with drawing eyes on me and holding court. So not a big deal

Yeah I think I would be cool about it as well and not chasing, but I am a bit afraid of her vibes being bad and poisoning the whole circle. I guess what you say is the solution, you just become likable enough that one person's view wouldn't change how the others see you.

I think it also becomes the same as a ball in her court kind if interaction. Perhaps she thought she had time with you to long game until she sees you with other girls and can increase your scarcity. Honestly I do not dare to say what they are thinking in general because there is a lot of variability.

True, you always feel you have time until you see the other party pulling back. I meant it more as a general feeling they give off in this situation anyway, not that they exactly think it, but there seems to be a subconscious realisation at least of huh, wait, he is cool about it.

 

[DarkKnight]

Yeah I think I would be cool about it as well and not chasing, but I am a bit afraid of her vibes being bad and poisoning the whole circle. I guess what you say is the solution, you just become likable enough that one person's view wouldn't change how the others see you.

You cant stop this. Recently a girl baited me for attention after knowing her for two years, but she was about to exit her job. She probably wanted me to make a move in order to shut me down really really petty shit. I did see her later somewhere else (was unexpected) and talked to some other babe while ignoring her, so I got petty vengeance back as well. However, this will keep happening, unfortunately there are some attention seekers out there. More than ever if you ask me, judging that this rather dumb (not dissing her, she is not a smart cookie) was calculative enough to not flirt for two years only to hardcore flirt on her last few days. So any fear you have of these kinds of things just disregard it. It's going to happen anyway, you cannot screen them out unless you make a move.

Also what kind of social circle are we talking about? I am not gaming in the close social circle I dont need it, but with extended social circles you got a lot of more leeway.

True, you always feel you have time until you see the other party pulling back. I meant it more as a general feeling they give off in this situation anyway, not that they exactly think it, but there seems to be a subconscious realisation at least of huh, wait, he is cool about it.

I dont know what happens with them. There was this one chick I always saw her in my street, she clearly never gave a shit about me, from my side I would bang her but not exactly my kind of person either. However at one point she got in my gym, we were polite and friendly, the next time she was more aloof as I expected, I simply mirrored it but didnt really care, the next time she was tripping hard and nearing autorejection and really happy when I threw her a bone, so I think what triggered her investment is her expecting me to game her, me not doing it, her getting offended despite not having interest, but this anger made her invested lol. If I can pick her mind a bit this should be it

They are nuts.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

You cant stop this. Recently a girl baited me for attention after knowing her for two years, but she was about to exit her job. She probably wanted me to make a move in order to shut me down really really petty shit. I did see her later somewhere else (was unexpected) and talked to some other babe while ignoring her, so I got petty vengeance back as well. However, this will keep happening, unfortunately there are some attention seekers out there. More than ever if you ask me, judging that this rather dumb (not dissing her, she is not a smart cookie) was calculative enough to not flirt for two years only to hardcore flirt on her last few days. So any fear you have of these kinds of things just disregard it.

Also what kind of social circle are we talking about? I am not gaming in the close social circle I dont need it, but with extended social circles you got a lot of more leeway.

You have a good point here, I am overthinking it, these things will happen, you just have to look at how you handle them.

Regarding the circles, I was thinking of some kind of dance classes I was taking, or any similar activities where you meet the people week by week, and you are not extra close but in the scene people know each other and may talk about what this or that guy did. And the tighter knit these groups get the more important the reputation management is, let's say if they all hang out together and go to dance bachata, they are basically friends at that point.

I've also done some approaches recently waiting for the bus to work, that then realised they were colleagues that I would get to meet few days later, so I stopped approaching at that stop haha.

They are nuts.

Nuff said.

 

[DarkKnight]

I've also done some approaches recently waiting for the bus to work, that then realised they were colleagues that I would get to meet few days later, so I stopped approaching at that stop haha.

You can try other stops. I have a lot of venues where I go to. Just like gaming multiple women, I game multiple venues whereas most people invest in one venue with social circle (slow) game and get over invested hence hesitant to make mistakes.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

You can try other stops. I have a lot of venues where I go to. Just like gaming multiple women, I game multiple venues whereas most people invest in one venue with social circle (slow) game and get over invested hence hesitant to make mistakes.

Oh yeah, I am approaching pretty much everywhere at this point haha It’s just that I noticed this stop is not the best decision. For sure if you focus only on one venue you restrict yourself too much.

If I slow game in social circles it’s not so much because I’m afraid to lose the women and I’ll have no way to get others. It’s more because I’m afraid of losing the circle by burning it down due to bad reputation.