FU Asian Bitch from Back to the Future

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Okay I met this girl from cold approach a couple days ago

Approach: I tried this new technique where I hype myself up right before the approach and it makes my fundamentals more enthusiastic and more genuine.

Very big smile during the approach, warm voice. Grounded movements and body language.

She had a spark in her eye when we were talking, I could tell she was hooked.

I just went direct then proceeded to do small talk and then closed. Textbook.

Texting was very good, eager fundamentals from her: question and exclamation marks and she sent me picture of a meal she cooked, I could tell she was trying to impress me because it looked like the type of ascetic food photo foodies post

Hard close text after I saw her send the photo and put in considerable effort in texting me

Date:

we met at this French bakery, she was wearing those glasses that are from back to the future, idk I guess it’s a style thing, personally I think it’s a little try hard

First 5 minutes were awkward, busy and chaotic restaurant, little confusing how to order, some awkward silences, I didn’t touch her that confidently when we first met, just taps on the should when I was talking. She didn’t respond to touch very well, kinda cold so I stopped.

I really started to gain my footing once we had sat down and had ordered. I tried doing a forearm touch when we were talking at the table but the table made us kinda far apart so it looked weird. After that I started building rapport but it kinda got serious and I realized I had to lighten the vibe with some flirting If I wanted to stay out of the friend zone, we really hit our stride when I started flirting, the chemistry was good and hard to run out of things to say. She was more just reacting (smile of laughter) to the flirting so no participation which would have been really good. I flirted by exaggerating, teasing, and making jokes

When I noticed that she was almost done eating I suggested we go for a walk. Actually before we sat down I suggested we go for a walk because she said she wanted to get outside at some point. Anyways, I had to nudge a little for the walk, I wonder why she was hesitant. Actually she said she had a time constraint so that was probably it. She said someway through eating that she had to go meet a friend after our date, maybe that was her way of getting out of the date

When we were on our walk, I put my arm around her shoulder a couple times but still the slightly cold nonverbals, I feel bad I wasn’t able to calibrate better. One time she lightly tapped my hand to signal me to take off my shoulder, and then another time she told me she was uncomfortable with it. I really do have a hard time doing touch calibration, I go to escalate, if it doesn’t work I wait another ten minutes and then I try again. I think I should be waiting for her fundamentals to change, her signals, before I try again.

Anyways during our walk, convo was still going strong with a lot of flirting, maybe I should have been serious at some points to build tension. We ran out of time because she had to go see her friend. I walked her to her car and then hugged goodbye.

I don’t think I’m gonna see her again because she wasn’t comfortable with any kind of touch, Just kinda sucks I don’t know how to turn a red light into a green, no matter how long I wait for her signals to change, she stubbornly acts the same. I’m not just talking about this girl, I’m talking about a fair amount of girls I go on dates with. It’s a big problem in my game. I only score when she’s a green light from the get go, like with my 1st LR

‘Nother date in the books, slowly perfecting my game, comments welcome,

Biggus

 

[foggy]

biggus, you were on the right track with the rapport building, this chick needed trust, but sounds like you ran into some snags. when things got too serious, you switched over to being fun, which is fine. the problem was it appears you didnt end up going back to rapport building, and instead kept escalating when you had no trust from her

i also noticed one of your viewpoints of this seriousness - ending up in the friend zone. social rapport is not bad! it helps build a basic level of social trust with a girl, which provides a better foundation for establishing the sexual trust she needs to really let go with you later on

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

biggus, you were on the right track with the rapport building, this chick needed trust, but sounds like you ran into some snags. when things got too serious, you switched over to being fun, which is fine. the problem was it appears you didnt end up going back to rapport building, and instead kept escalating when you had no trust from her

i also noticed one of your viewpoints of this seriousness - ending up in the friend zone. social rapport is not bad! it helps build a basic level of social trust with a girl, which provides a better foundation for establishing the sexual trust she needs to really let go with you later on

Wow this is very helpful, thank you.

I guess you need a mix of flirting and seriousness to win the game, lack of one or the other and you end up losing her

 

[Will_V]

Okay I met this girl from cold approach a couple days ago

Approach: I tried this new technique where I hype myself up right before the approach and it makes my fundamentals more enthusiastic and more genuine.

Very big smile during the approach, warm voice. Grounded movements and body language.

She had a spark in her eye when we were talking, I could tell she was hooked.

I just went direct then proceeded to do small talk and then closed. Textbook.

Texting was very good, eager fundamentals from her: question and exclamation marks and she sent me picture of a meal she cooked, I could tell she was trying to impress me because it looked like the type of ascetic food photo foodies post

Hard close text after I saw her send the photo and put in considerable effort in texting me

Date:

we met at this French bakery, she was wearing those glasses that are from back to the future, idk I guess it’s a style thing, personally I think it’s a little try hard

First 5 minutes were awkward, busy and chaotic restaurant, little confusing how to order, some awkward silences, I didn’t touch her that confidently when we first met, just taps on the should when I was talking. She didn’t respond to touch very well, kinda cold so I stopped.

I really started to gain my footing once we had sat down and had ordered. I tried doing a forearm touch when we were talking at the table but the table made us kinda far apart so it looked weird. After that I started building rapport but it kinda got serious and I realized I had to lighten the vibe with some flirting If I wanted to stay out of the friend zone, we really hit our stride when I started flirting, the chemistry was good and hard to run out of things to say. She was more just reacting (smile of laughter) to the flirting so no participation which would have been really good. I flirted by exaggerating, teasing, and making jokes

When I noticed that she was almost done eating I suggested we go for a walk. Actually before we sat down I suggested we go for a walk because she said she wanted to get outside at some point. Anyways, I had to nudge a little for the walk, I wonder why she was hesitant. Actually she said she had a time constraint so that was probably it. She said someway through eating that she had to go meet a friend after our date, maybe that was her way of getting out of the date

When we were on our walk, I put my arm around her shoulder a couple times but still the slightly cold nonverbals, I feel bad I wasn’t able to calibrate better. One time she lightly tapped my hand to signal me to take off my shoulder, and then another time she told me she was uncomfortable with it. I really do have a hard time doing touch calibration, I go to escalate, if it doesn’t work I wait another ten minutes and then I try again. I think I should be waiting for her fundamentals to change, her signals, before I try again.

Anyways during our walk, convo was still going strong with a lot of flirting, maybe I should have been serious at some points to build tension. We ran out of time because she had to go see her friend. I walked her to her car and then hugged goodbye.

I don’t think I’m gonna see her again because she wasn’t comfortable with any kind of touch, Just kinda sucks I don’t know how to turn a red light into a green, no matter how long I wait for her signals to change, she stubbornly acts the same. I’m not just talking about this girl, I’m talking about a fair amount of girls I go on dates with. It’s a big problem in my game. I only score when she’s a green light from the get go, like with my 1st LR

‘Nother date in the books, slowly perfecting my game, comments welcome,

Biggus

What different kinds of touch did you try?

Arm around the shoulders is one of those moves that some girls will like and others not, it's not really that sexual, is intimate but ambiguous, and requires the other person to be in a touchy-feely mood. I've found asian girls will often not like that sort of thing whereas for example latinas will tend to be very open to it. Kissing is somewhat in this category as well. It comes down to the level of physical closeness that a girl is used to being in with males in her life as a norm, and asian girls often have virtually none.

What seems to work best with asian girls is leading the frame (i.e. building compliance toward taking her home without looking for clear signals), teasing and more overt sexual touch. When in the mood they are very compliant and submissive but won't reciprocate or build intimacy with you the way you might be used to with other girls, so the only way to really gauge how ready they are is compliance.

Something that also works well for me in these situations is 'two steps forward and one back' type of escalation where you take her a little bit over what she is comfortable with and then pull back a bit while maintaining rapport. For example as you're walking along you give her a little smack with the fingertips on her tailbone and then step a little bit away and go 'do you go to the gym .. ' and start talking about exercise in a very warm and engaging tone. Or for example as you're describing something to her you put your hand on her back, slide it up and gently grab the back of her neck, and then if she tenses you just pull away a bit and go back to what you were saying. It starts breaking her out of whatever inhibitions she's got without needing her to go through the rigmarole of building intimacy with a guy that she isn't used to doing, and shows her that you are dominant enough to deal with her insecurities directly without getting fazed or aggressive.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

What different kinds of touch did you try?

Arm around the shoulders is one of those moves that some girls will like and others not, it's not really that sexual, is intimate but ambiguous, and requires the other person to be in a touchy-feely mood. I've found asian girls will often not like that sort of thing whereas for example latinas will tend to be very open to it. Kissing is somewhat in this category as well. It comes down to the level of physical closeness that a girl is used to being in with males in her life as a norm, and asian girls often have virtually none.

What seems to work best with asian girls is leading the frame (i.e. building compliance toward taking her home without looking for clear signals), teasing and more overt sexual touch. When in the mood they are very compliant and submissive but won't reciprocate or build intimacy with you the way you might be used to with other girls, so the only way to really gauge how ready they are is compliance.

Something that also works well for me in these situations is 'two steps forward and one back' type of escalation where you take her a little bit over what she is comfortable with and then pull back a bit while maintaining rapport. For example as you're walking along you give her a little smack with the fingertips on her tailbone and then step a little bit away and go 'do you go to the gym .. ' and start talking about exercise in a very warm and engaging tone. Or for example as you're describing something to her you put your hand on her back, slide it up and gently grab the back of her neck, and then if she tenses you just pull away a bit and go back to what you were saying. It starts breaking her out of whatever inhibitions she's got without needing her to go through the rigmarole of building intimacy with a guy that she isn't used to doing, and shows her that you are dominant enough to deal with her insecurities directly without getting fazed or aggressive.

Are trust and compliance similar enough that they can be put under the same umbrella?

I’m trying to combine @fog and @Will_V main message into one so it’s easier to remember

Let me know if that’s stupid, just trying to find a way to learn faster

 

[Will_V]

Are trust and compliance similar enough that they can be put under the same umbrella?

I’m trying to combine @fog and @Will_V main message into one so it’s easier to remember

Let me know if that’s stupid, just trying to find a way to learn faster

Not completely, but they are related. A girl can trust someone as a person without giving compliance, compliance comes from her wanting the end result of the interaction while trusting your control of how things proceed.

In this case, dominance is equatable to trust when her biggest insecurity is knowing how awkward she is with intimacy and that many guys will get turned off, irritated, or uncomfortable with it (resulting in a bad experience for her). So you showing calm sexual dominance removes that burden from her - all she needs to do is to relax into what is already happening, and if you show that you will calibrate to her signals without getting pushed back helplessly from your goals, she trusts that things will move forward to the bedroom and be enjoyable for her with a minimum of effort on her part.

But it doesn't require typical 'trust'. For example a girl might be compliant with some dude that she knows is a scoundrel, because she knows that the guy wants sex, that he knows women well enough and is calibrated enough to do a good job, and he's attractive. So in that case it's not trust in anything except the arc of that particular night.

 

[foggy]

Not completely, but they are related. A girl can trust someone as a person without giving compliance, compliance comes from her wanting the end result of the interaction while trusting your control of how things proceed.

its true biggus, they are related. will puts it perfectly here.

In this case, dominance is equatable to trust when her biggest insecurity is knowing how awkward she is with intimacy and that many guys will get turned off, irritated, or uncomfortable with it (resulting in a bad experience for her).

interesting, another common bad experience narrative when it comes to girls and their submission...is being taken advantage of!

she'll initially trust guys who will go on to lead incorrectly and mismanage her boundaries. she resents them and controls herself around new guys who she feels might not have her best interests in mind. on the other hand, the guy who manages her boundaries correctly has a way better chance of getting enough compliance from her to fuck her

 

[Will_V]

interesting, another common bad experience narrative when it comes to girls and their submission...is being taken advantage of!

she'll initially trust guys who will go on to lead incorrectly and mismanage her boundaries. she resents them and controls herself around new guys who she feels might not have her best interests in mind. on the other hand, the guy who manages her boundaries correctly has a way better chance of getting enough compliance from her to fuck her

100%, with insecure girls the main thing is to remain assertive while staying ultra chill, the assertiveness supports her in facing her insecurities while staying chill shows you aren't going to get ruffled and make moves she won't like.