Asking my first girl out 2nd time.. need advice

[Lucid]

Hey guys...

So a week ago I asked out a cute girl on a date. I've only texted a bit with her through a dating app called Hot or Not. If you don't know what Hot or Not is, it's basically an app where you flick through girls' profiles and choose to like them or dislike them - if you like them and they like you back, you two can chat.

I was new to the app and hadn't tried any other dating sites either when I started chatting with this girl. Needless to say, I was quite nervous and afraid of screwing things up and that she would change her mind about liking me when I started writing to her. This was before I knew about girlschase.com, and I've never dated or even tried to date a girl before.

I started it off by simply saying "Hi", which she replied to. When I saw her reply she was online and I asked if she was there (so we could chat). Long time passed, then after nagging her with one more message I got a "Yeah, sorry " Then my second attempt, "What's up?" went bad, no reply. For some reason, which I'm incredibly happy about, I went online to figure out why she wouldn't answer at all to this. Ah... turns out girls on dating sites get a ton of these messages all the time from guys! Man had I been oblivious - from her profile I could even see that she had several thousands of guys who'd "liked" her.

From here I actually started to try and compose an interesting message - and succeeded. She told me some stuff about herself, and we had a short conversation. Of course, at this point I didn't know that I shouldn't just force the text conversation on and talk about bullshit that wouldn't get me anywhere.. so that's what I did, resulting in that she didn't answer me in the end. Luckily, this led to my discovery of girlschase.com and made me determined to want to succeed in becoming better with women, and now it's made me feel like I have a chance of getting somewhere with this girl even if I fucked it up a bit in the beginning..

So after not texting her for a month, I decided to go for it - no point in waiting longer, no point in not trying as that would only lead to more thinking. I started it off with asked how her foot were, as she'd told me a month ago she injured it badly. Couple of days passed before she replied that it was healed now. Knowing not to chase too much, I waited two days myself too this time before I sent the next message...which was the message asking her out.

She said no. I had steeled myself for this beforehand (be cool no matter what she says), and I tried the "be overly dramatic" response to her rejection, in a way that I was sure she would know I was joking (I already know she probably has a good sense of humor too). It worked really well, her responses seemed positive. And I ended it with the "in a couple of days you'll sit there bored and you'll wish you'd said yes".

We're finally getting to my question...

I decided back then that I'd ask her out again in a week. Now it's gone a week. But the thing is that this weekend is an important day in my country and everyone will basically be busy this Saturday (including me). That leaves only Sunday as a possible dating day, as I'm working all weekdays and working out all but Wednesday.

Besides, I haven't dated a single girl yet, and should I really start it off with this girl? I haven't met her in person, but from the pictures and the short chat we've had she seems like just my type of girl. Really, really cute, doesn't seem too experienced or inexperienced, and yeah, I just want to have a fair chance on a first date with her.

But if I put it off another week... will she almost forget about me and be less likely to accept going on a date? I mean, if I really liked her, and was going to ask her again, why would I put it off so long? Of course, it was the national day, I can say, but subconsciously, that may not matter to her; I didn't ask her when in fact she was bored.. Thus she goes into auto-rejection, thinking, "of course he wouldn't ask me out again, this guy can't give me what I want" Do you know what I mean?

I might be stumbling a bit with my words, but I hope some of you will understand nonetheless.. I'm in a situation where I really want to make progress but find it extremely difficult as I don't have many options (few contacts, nearly total lack of experience with girls and cold approach seems almost impossible) at the moment.. but I really want to make progress. What do you think I should do? Thanks.

 

[Lucid]

Would just like to throw out that I would be very happy for any advice. I feel like my motivation has been declining lately, and I don't have any friends who are good with women or who is pushing me on this matter. I'm trying my best to do new things in order to make progress with women, but I find myself quite stuck sometimes, relapsing into porn again and whatnot, and I truly want to get better and avoid such things. I would be incredibly thankful for any responses

 

[Smith]

Besides, I haven't dated a single girl yet, and should I really start it off with this girl? I haven't met her in person, but from the pictures and the short chat we've had she seems like just my type of girl. Really, really cute, doesn't seem too experienced or inexperienced, and yeah, I just want to have a fair chance on a first date with her.

But if I put it off another week... will she almost forget about me and be less likely to accept going on a date? I mean, if I really liked her, and was going to ask her again, why would I put it off so long? Of course, it was the national day, I can say, but subconsciously, that may not matter to her; I didn't ask her when in fact she was bored.. Thus she goes into auto-rejection, thinking, "of course he wouldn't ask me out again, this guy can't give me what I want" Do you know what I mean?

Start approaching other women then you'll forget all about her

 

[Lucid]

Start approaching other women then you'll forget all about her

That's not the problem in my opinion. I'm not head over heels with this girl, not at all. Yes, I need to approach other women, and I've tried asking out another girl besides the one I mentioned - she said no (short notice, and it seemed like she wanted to but genuinely couldn't). She's in my social circle though, and basically the only other one I could ask out.

My problem is getting started approaching women.. and I'm afraid of starting with what could be my dream girl.

 

[Smith]

I've tried asking out another girl besides the one I mentioned - she said no (short notice, and it seemed like she wanted to but genuinely couldn't). She's in my social circle though, and basically the only other one I could ask out.

If she's in your social circle, it doesn't count.
It just sounds like you're thinking too much about her and over-complicating things.
'

My problem is getting started approaching women.. and I'm afraid of starting with what could be my dream girl.

well yes, when you're first starting out, it's easy to think that the first girl you click with could be your dream girl, but this is the trap most men fell into. Ever since I've started, I've met more amazing girl after another, so I can assure you she is not your dream girl.

 

[Lucid]

well yes, when you're first starting out, it's easy to think that the first girl you click with could be your dream girl, but this is the trap most men fell into. Ever since I've started, I've met more amazing girl after another, so I can assure you she is not your dream girl.

I'll be honest, I wanted to disagree with you on that one when I first read it. But now I think you're right and that this very much applies to me. And it made it easier for me to decide what to do because I thought I'd done a good job not valuing her too highly, when in fact I had put her on a semi-pedestal by thinking that she could be my dream girl.

As for my decision, I did ask her out again... and got a no (not a surprise), but it didn't seem harsh. I'll try once more in a week and if she doesn't say yes then, I'll call it off.

If she's in your social circle, it doesn't count.

Concerning that other girl, the one from my social circle, I'm not sure if I understand this one.. doesn't count? Well, to me it counts a lot. Because:
1. It makes me get more used to asking girls out
2. If we go on a date I can practice my seduction skills and finally start to put what I've read to use
3. I will see more clearly where the traps of the friend zone appears and if I can manage to avoid them with a friend like her
4. If we have sex I will get rid of the V-card...

It might have sounded like she was a close friend of mine, but in fact we don't see each other that often and we've never been together alone before. And that's why I think I might be able to have more than just a "friendly date" with her.

To add, I notice having very low motivation on certain days, such as this, almost feeling depressed. And I think it's because I still haven't actually made anything happen.

 

[Smith]

Concerning that other girl, the one from my social circle, I'm not sure if I understand this one.. doesn't count? Well, to me it counts a lot. Because:
1. It makes me get more used to asking girls out
2. If we go on a date I can practice my seduction skills and finally start to put what I've read to use
3. I will see more clearly where the traps of the friend zone appears and if I can manage to avoid them with a friend like her
4. If we have sex I will get rid of the V-card...

What I mean is it doesn't count as a cold approach.
and just remember talking to new girls on the street, supermarket..etc is very different to meeting new girls via your social circle, which is why most people are afraid to do it.
The easiest way to go on a date to practice your seduction skills is to meet more women and go on more dates. also get used to rejections.
Nonetheless, I'm not saying u shouldn't ask her out. You should, and u shud do it soon.

To add, I notice having very low motivation on certain days, such as this, almost feeling depressed. And I think it's because I still haven't actually made anything happen.

Inaction = frustration. I reminded myself that every time I failed to talk to that cute girl on the street. hope this helps