asking out: important detail. to be 'alpha male' or not

[razir110]

Hey guys, I have a question about the.. maybe level of determination? that you should use when asking a girl out.
The thing is. Chase said that telling her like "saturday at 7" is incorrect, since you would be like invading her schedule and instead you should use a "what is the best time for you" I understand this point, but i have a question..
What I do is actually the "saturday at 7" technique. I usually say "bla bla I want to see you!" and not "lets have a drink sometime/we should hang out some time". In my opinion, it gives me the image of the guy that knows what he wants and not of a guy that is basically letting her take the lead and sort of make me the favor of becoming available to me when she feels like it. Again when she says "yes we should meet" I tell her, "great, how about this Saturday? Like at 8" Maybe not straight away, but later in the conversation. Or "I want to meet u -yes we should hang out - cool, I am off 4 and 5" - this would be said if there is till lots of time left till the 4th or 5th not to come out as always available or willing to cancel anything to meet her.
Don't you think that saying stuff like "tell me when u can meet me" puts you in a weak position? Is it THAT invasive to do this? Yes it sounds a bit cocky, but isn't it what the ladies like anyways? Combining this 2 stages of setting the date, the "we should see each other and let me know when u are available" don't you think that it puts the men in a boy position? Plus, you say "tell me whats the best time for u" she goes "6th in the evening" you go "yeah sure, cool" doesn't it sound like you have no life and u are always free?
Anyways if I get a "I am busy on Saturday" I would always say "no problem, you just missed a chance of a lifetime to hang out with coolest dude around, let me know when it's better for you", consider the case closed and move on to the next one. If she replies with an alternative time cool, if not, cool anyways.

What do you guys think? What is your experience on this 2 different ways to talk? Thankz!

 

[Estate]

Hey man,

I think you are WAY over thinking this.
Here is how the conversation goes a LOT of the time when I guy doesn't really know what he's doing:

Him: "Hi, Can we go out sometime? I'll buy you dinner and flowers and chocolates and everything"
Her: "Um sure, I'd like to g out sometime"
Him: "Ok cool, when's good for you...?"
Her: "Sometime next week?"
Him: "Ok, How about Tuesday, or Wednesday, or Thursday or I can do any day Fri to Sun too... when do you want to go?"
Her: "Um, I've got an exam Weds, maybe Thursday then"
Him: "Oh yes! That's great! Lucky I'm free Thursday, where do you want to go???"
Her: "I don't know, where were you thinking?"
Him: " Anywhere you like! Maybe downtown, or by the college, or across town, or uptown. What kind of food do you like.. whatever you want?"
Her: "Um, I dunno... I'm up for anything really.."

And basically this goes on over about 50 text back and forth... basically... she doesn't care... she said yes so the guy needs to just be a man, he knows when she's free and what the logistics are. He needs to pick and place, date and time and just end this pointless supplicating.

There's nothig wrong with finding out her schedule or finding out what she likes to do.... but ust get to the point fast! Find out within 1 or 2 texts when and what works for her... that gives you options and your next text should be a suggestion of a time and place you now know she is cool with already.

It really doesn't take more than 4-5 texts to get ALL this covered. It doesn't matter what you say.

It just matters if you're like the guy above who has NO opinions of his own. He has NO idea where to bring her or what to do and is terrified she won't like it. But all she wants is a guy who knows what he's doing, take her somewhere fun, make the decision for her and roll with it.