Calls & Texts Asking out via text

[Anonymous]

Both me and this girl I've got my eye on are in the middle of final college exams, and won't see much of each other for the next six weeks until graduation. After deliberating whether to wait until we've finished college to ask her out (but risk missing the window of opportunity) or just asking her out now to at least show my interest (but possibly risk being turned down because she's simply too busy), I've decided to just go ahead and ask her if she fancies meeting up for a drink or whatever. Now we don't currently see each other much (and certainly not without being surrounded by colleagues) but we do text occasionally, so I'm really going to have to use text speak to ask her out.

Trying to work out a well crafted text to fire off...possibly an offer of having a break from studying to meet up for drinks, maybe a semi-study session over lunch to both catch up on talk and test each other on exam stuff...she's quite an intense studier, who as far as I know likes hitting the books alone at home.

"Hey stranger, what's your study plan for the next few days like? Fancy grabbing lunch sometime, change of routine? We can discuss work if you like "

"Hey stranger How's the self-torture going? Fancy meeting for lunch sometime, break from the tedium? Can test each other on school stuff, if you like!"

Any opinions on those two potential invites...critiques or suggestions? Both are based on what I've read on the site, but would appreciate any advice on this matter, as text invites aren't something I've really used in the past.

 

[Thinkingenigma]

Both me and this girl I've got my eye on are in the middle of final college exams, and won't see much of each other for the next six weeks until graduation. After deliberating whether to wait until we've finished college to ask her out (but risk missing the window of opportunity) or just asking her out now to at least show my interest (but possibly risk being turned down because she's simply too busy), I've decided to just go ahead and ask her if she fancies meeting up for a drink or whatever. Now we don't currently see each other much (and certainly not without being surrounded by colleagues) but we do text occasionally, so I'm really going to have to use text speak to ask her out.

Trying to work out a well crafted text to fire off...possibly an offer of having a break from studying to meet up for drinks, maybe a semi-study session over lunch to both catch up on talk and test each other on exam stuff...she's quite an intense studier, who as far as I know likes hitting the books alone at home.

"Hey stranger, what's your study plan for the next few days like? Fancy grabbing lunch sometime, change of routine? We can discuss work if you like "

"Hey stranger How's the self-torture going? Fancy meeting for lunch sometime, break from the tedium? Can test each other on school stuff, if you like!"

Any opinions on those two potential invites...critiques or suggestions? Both are based on what I've read on the site, but would appreciate any advice on this matter, as text invites aren't something I've really used in the past.

Stay away from both of those. The first one feels too insecure (Never say you can discuss work. Do you think you're going to woo her by talking about how fast you can make copies on the office copier?), while the second one... Well, pick another word beside torture. It makes my eye twitch, and will probably make her say no. Say something like "Hey stranger, hope (insert something short and witty about the last time you saw each other). We should grab lunch sometime soon. What's your schedule like?"

 

[Clout]

Hey kadarkwing,

With this situation I would prefer to use face-to-face as it looks more ballsy and if it goes wrong you can salvage a friendship (bigger social circle) by it not being awkward the next time you meet in person. When you see her but people are around, just ask her to come over to you (just out of ear-shot of others) or just say "walk with me"/something to that nature (make sure you look her in the eyes a little intensely & say it as a command - you have to believe it) then just start walking. It's powerful and people tend to follow when someone leads strong (regardless of sex).

If you really can't get her alone or it will be while before you see her go for the text. With the texts though I see you are giving yourself an out in case it doesn't work. My rule is get to the point, then move on (no entertaining). If you are not convinced why should she.

"Break from the tedium? Can test each other on school stuff, if you like!" & "change of routine? We can discuss work if you like ". With these you are essentially trying to convince her, yet she hasn't objected yet. Then by adding work related on the end, that's the big out and that just makes it feel more half-arsed nice guy approach. You are not trying to get her out for work, it's because she is cute.

 

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies, appreciate your thoughts. In hindsight, I recognise both my potential messages were a little off the mark. Also, I reckon I'm going to scrap the texting game and wait the six weeks until we both finish med school, then just ask her out face to face. Well be interning at the same hospital for at least a few months after that, so should have ample opportunity to make my move then.

Do agree that face to face is better than texting, it certainly gives a better impression and there's also the added benefits of physical nuances, body language etc. that don't come out well over a phone screen! Besides, having mused it over I wouldn't be surprised if she refused a text at the moment - I say that not out of fear of refusal, but simply the fact that 1. It could legitimately be difficult to set up a meet around study/exam time and 2. Nobody wants the significant distraction of a new/failed relationship (or an attempt at one) when they're supposed to be focusing on final exams. So even if she was keen on giving it a go, a reply to the effect of "Super focused at the minute'" wouldn't be totally unjustified...kind of understand it myself.

So am going to try waiting the six weeks until we both finish exams, when we should be back to more personal face to face encounters. Until then am going to play it by the book and dial back on communication (just the odd maintenance text), lest I get friend zoned before I can play my cards. Thanks again, will have to post back when a result materialises.

 

[Clout]

The important thing is you know the direction you are taking. I would practice with other girls and keep contact minimum as you say, if you start making moves/upping sex appeal to her now the attraction clock starts ticking. Wish you the best of luck