assumption based conclusions without experience

[Zoro]

I have noticed that assumption based conclusions without experience is common in my thinking. It could be an assumption that I already know what someone has to say and cut them off or assuming I know the outcome will be undesirable and fail to act. Assuming that things may go wrong before even trying them can obviously be a hinderance.

Many times I am surprised to find that I'm wrong with my assumptions and I'm thankful that I have discovered that I have a this tendency so I can rectify respectfully. That being said, there are some instances where assumption without a direct or explicit experience can be beneficial, for instance we can assume without experiencing it directly that jumping from a high enough place or picking a fight with a lion will end painful.

I bring this up because despite being an avid reader and have had success with putting Chase's points into practice, I have yet to fully dive into approaching women regularly despite having good experiences in the past. I have been trying to dissect why I have yet to do so instead of diving right into the seduction waters. My conclusion so far is that I assume my experience with it will be awkward and un-smooth. The very things I have been trying to personally resolve.

I believe that nothing is so black and white in this life but I wish to hear your thoughts on this!

 

[Light]

Hi,

I'm not quite sure what your question is regarding this post.

Assumption is always bad.
Assumption is the opposite of being wise.
Assumption is a reaction of not wanting to listen or thinking he/she already "knows".
Assumption is foolish.

In regards to your example of jumping from a high place and fighting lion is not assumption.
It is common sense and common knowledge, because the consequences is "already known" to us.
It is a risk evaluation.

 

[IrishConrad]

I think we all make assumptions based on passed experiences. Especially with women.

I am guilty of this and it has caused much rocking of the boat in my relationships with women.

In my last experience I started sleeping with my Ex again. When I found out she had gone on a couple dates with this guy....I assumed she was sleeping with him by date #3. Assumptions led to destructive thoughts and then destructive behavior. ie...I went through her phone for proof.

Dumb assumption.

 

[Estate]

I feel like what you've found is a very good realization for anyone getting into this.

I see so many guys who might approach a girl and not really know what he's doing, get's blown out and then will never approach a girl again "Well, if she didn't like me, nobody will".... heck, I was that guy a long time ago.
People don't challenge their thinking enough.

Instead you can be like "Well, I got blown out, what did I do wrong with my approach, Oh, I was really quiet, she asked me to repeat myself... go chat to that girl and talk louder and see what happens"

Chase though, has challenged my thinking on a lot of things and it turns out, he knows his stuff.
I mean, I wouldn't dare be too forward on a first date, a kiss was out of the question, but now I am getting lays some of the time. Even if it was being offered on a plate before I'd still be like "No, a girl wouldn't sleep with me on the first date" and practically turn her down.

Very good realization. Just challenge your thoughts more... quite often we have a negative outlook on things we probably shouldn't.

 

[skin_man]

Hey J Wick,

Yeah, the assumption mentality has more disadvantages than advantages (if at all). I think it stems from a victim mentality that accepts information based on inaccurate facts or mere speculation and also in my opinion, it's a lazy way of thinking because it looks to nothing but the superficial. We all know that all we see is never all there is. For many months, my mentor often screamed at me for possessing this habit of assuming. I may have been too stuboorn to let go of it than I was willing to reap the benefits. Now I'm well getting better at not assuming.

Chase did an article on overcoming the victim mentality. Have read through and see what points he made that could help revert the habit.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-v ... luck-women

Also train yourself to state the sources of your information before speaking about thetm. Napolean Hill often said: "Ask the person who gave you the info to tell you how he came about the info." Video link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htJIY2KFUrE

Enjoy!!

 

[Zoro]

Thanks for your input guys! I had an experience last night that is relevant to this.

Went to a wedding here in Colombia where I am visiting and there were many attractive girls giving me looks. I was thinking, oh I know what to do and I'm going to do it this way and that. In truth I approached zero girls and I would be kicking myself harder if I hadn't realized something important.

I was waiting for the perfect opportunity to approach. This is pretty much similar to waiting for someone to do something for you. When you do that you are powerless, and in terms of seduction thats the meat and potatoes.

What I should have done was acted on the approach invitations I was getting left and right, instead I got cocky and over-estimated chance.

Not to mention I'm very inexperienced. I'm shaking off my preconceived ideas. Perhaps my biggest obstacle is the desire to make all these interactions smooth and suave. Like wanting the finish line placed next to the start! haha

-Pandy

 

[Flames]

Always question your own thinking, until you have absolute proof. I'll give some examples
of what I mean.

"Nobody likes me"
Ok, the people I have in my life, do they invite me to things, do the they smile enjoy themselves in my company? Etc...
"They seem to, but I don't know" Then the statement "Nobody likes me is false"

"Everybody likes me"
Does everyone I meet welcome me? Do they enjoy my company? Is there anyone I don't get on with?
"Well there's this one person...." Then the statement is again false.

I hope you can see from this the problem isn't in the answers but in the questions, they are black and white questions that have non-black and white answers. The two questions above are obviously false nobody is like by everyone or hated by everyone, it's just not possible.

If you look at a very popular question here "does she like me?" then the answer is never going to be no, nor is it going to be exactly yes. She will like somethings about you, she'll also dislike something's, again the question is black and white but the answer is not. The trick is understanding what she likes about you and what she doesn't (and your opinion of her too) and progress from that.