Online & Apps 'Attraction expires' and Tinder

[ThePicker]

Hey !

I recently came across an article on girlschase, in which it is mentioned that "attraction expires. Sometimes you might think it was your fault or you projected low value, but it's not, it's actually a phenomenon outside your control".
(That was the main idea of it)
So I would like to link this with an unfortunate pattern typical of girls from Tinder: the girl is quite interested at first, she gives you her social media, you keep texting each other there, but after 3-7 days she stops replying forever, her interest has fully vanished.
(Please, don't respond things like "You should have asked her out before" or "just move on". I know the rules, I am not asking for a different approach here, I am just genuinely curious as to why this happens and how it is related to attraction having and expirity date)

Does this occur because " attraction expires" or because of me doing smth wrong? (I think I don't).

What can we do about it?

If only we found a solution for this, a way to 'solidify' their attraction for us , we would be getting TONS of girls.


Thanks!
P.S: my context: I live in Poland, I am 23.

 

[Beam]

(Please, don't respond things like "You should have asked her out before"

I will, because there's your answer. If you're texting back and forth frequently you should be setting up dates within those first couple of days. You should aim to set up a meet within 5 texts ideally. That's what you're doing wrong and yes her attraction is expiring. She wants a guy who will move things forward, not a text buddy.

 

[ThePicker]

I will, because there's your answer. If you're texting back and forth frequently you should be setting up dates within those first couple of days. You should aim to set up a meet within 5 texts ideally. That's what you're doing wrong and yes her attraction is expiring. She wants a guy who will move things forward, not a text buddy.

Hey, thank you for your answer.

It's not that I don't ask them out, I do.
But the question is not directed toward that aspect. The question is "Assuming you do well most of the things, including 'asking her out', why does their interest seem to vanish?

I will illustrate it with 2 examples. There are 2 girls whom I asked out in the first 6 messages, and they agreed and cooperated to fix a day (good sign). But neither me nor them had any day available that week. Days went by, but now, they don't seem that interested. One of them doesn't reply, the other does, but very slowly, and replies with a "Sorry I am having busy days".
(P.S. with these girls I took a different approach than that of texting, they were interested in continuing the conversation, but once it was clear that we couldn't match a day I stopped it by saying smth like " I gotta go. Lately Im really busy, I'll get back to you to find a common day +joke")

A 3rd case: I matched with 2 girls. Everything goes well. By day 2 they stop replying.
I message them again after 24h, asking them out.
Obviously, they couldn't. The conversation is dead as well.

So the thing is.. Why this pattern?

Does it also happen to you all?
Im not saying this is the case with all my matches, but it is with maybe a 60-80% of those who reply.

I just wanna know if that's normal, if so why, and/or if I am doing smth wrong in the texting game aspect or whatever it could be.

Thank you!

 

[ulrich]

It’s normal.
The more you wait, the most likely a girl is to move on to other things.
You lose the novelty factor.

There’s really not much to do in that case other than calling their phones and “escalate” to phone calls or video messages to extend your deadline a little longer.

 

[Witcher]

This is what I'm experimenting with right now because of lockdowns and shitty logistics. How to keep her on for long the hook until you can meet.

As Blackdragon in his book about online dating pointed: as on an online app contact, you are the least important thing in her life. So don't be surprised in general.

I will still go with "You should have asked her before" but I will elaborate. Before adding the girl on WhatsApp or Social Media you should ask her out and she would have agreed to meet you. Then you move to social media or another more personal app for the schedule. And you do this even if both of you still don't know what time works best. You are now guy she agreed to meet not a new virtual friend.

When you have a girl on your Social and messaging account who accepted to meet, it will be easier to keep in contact. Then if the timing doesn't permit, you can use bonding phone calls and text to keep her warm until you can. It still has a low percentage, the percentage increase if you and the girl share a common internet in some fields. So far the best way that dates happened is you ask a girl on the app between 5 and 10 messages (never saw a long conversation going anywhere) then ask her out on the app, then move to Social/Messaging for scheduling.

I asked a similar question on another thread and Chase gave me very good pointers you may check it.

Happy Hunting

 

[ThePicker]

This is what I'm experimenting with right now because of lockdowns and shitty logistics. How to keep her on for long the hook until you can meet.

As Blackdragon in his book about online dating pointed: as on an online app contact, you are the least important thing in her life. So don't be surprised in general.

I will still go with "You should have asked her before" but I will elaborate. Before adding the girl on WhatsApp or Social Media you should ask her out and she would have agreed to meet you. Then you move to social media or another more personal app for the schedule. And you do this even if both of you still don't know what time works best. You are now guy she agreed to meet not a new virtual friend.

When you have a girl on your Social and messaging account who accepted to meet, it will be easier to keep in contact. Then if the timing doesn't permit, you can use bonding phone calls and text to keep her warm until you can. It still has a low percentage, the percentage increase if you and the girl share a common internet in some fields. So far the best way that dates happened is you ask a girl on the app between 5 and 10 messages (never saw a long conversation going anywhere) then ask her out on the app, then move to Social/Messaging for scheduling.

I asked a similar question on another thread and Chase gave me very good pointers you may check it.

Happy Hunting

Thank you again for the answer.
This really fit and nailed the advice I needed/was looking for.
It's true, I've also seen that when there's a common interest/bond or connection for something, the likelihood increases considerably. The stronger the connection/shared interest, the better.

I have definetily arrived to the conclusion that yeah, the earlier I ask them out, the better.
Thank you mate
Happy hunting to everyone reading this

 

[Rakkum]

the girl is quite interested at first, she gives you her social media, you keep texting each other there, but after 3-7 days she stops replying forever, her interest has fully vanished.

Does this occur because " attraction expires" or because of me doing smth wrong? (I think I don't).

Why it happens is because the competition is stiff. If there is someone more interesting, more intriguing and who moves FASTER, then you are out of luck.

She may or may not be attracted to you based on the scarce information available to her. It's more likely that it's just curiosity - she probably isn't sold on you yet. How much where you texting her? It's possible you came off as a bit boring or texted too often and too much? I

The thing with online is if you move too fast, you come off as needy. If you move too slow, she will move on. It's better to err on the side of moving a bit too fast, though. You'll screen in the quick and easy lays.

When I text, I try to make it as emotionally stimulating or high energy fun as I can and then dissappear, keep her intrigued and wanting for more. None of that in between type of lukewarm texting, that just doesn't work in my experience. Fractonation is key.

 

[ThePicker]

Why it happens is because the competition is stiff. If there is someone more interesting, more intriguing and who moves FASTER, then you are out of luck.

She may or may not be attracted to you based on the scarce information available to her. It's more likely that it's just curiosity - she probably isn't sold on you yet. How much where you texting her? It's possible you came off as a bit boring or texted too often and too much? I

The thing with online is if you move too fast, you come off as needy. If you move too slow, she will move on. It's better to err on the side of moving a bit too fast, though. You'll screen in the quick and easy lays.

When I text, I try to make it as emotionally stimulating or high energy fun as I can and then dissappear, keep her intrigued and wanting for more. None of that in between type of lukewarm texting, that just doesn't work in my experience. Fractonation is key.

Fractionation?
I have heard about it.
But how do you use it through text? With girls you just met on Tinder
Could you please explain/ ellaborate more on it?
Thanks !

 

[Rakkum]

Fractionation?
I have heard about it.
But how do you use it through text? With girls you just met on Tinder
Could you please explain/ ellaborate more on it?
Thanks !

Maybe I'm butchering or over-simplifying the concept but that just moving in a non-linear way, more specifically, amping her state then toning back again a bit, up and down.

In practice, when it comes to texting, it's choosing when you reply to her messages. You don't want to be too eager with her but taking a break from texting at a high point is more effective than doing it when a an exchange runs it's course and winds down a bit. It keeps you in control and her chasing a bit and you don't come off as needy.

The same with escalation.
You: "You know, you and I should celebrate the start of winter with some mulled wine!"
Her: "Sure, would love too!"

If the iron is super hot, and she's horny you could and should escalate fast but that's rarely the case.
Instead, putting her on hold for a while is a better idea. Let the interaction wind down naturally and come back to it a bit later.

https://imgur.com/a/fLImBbU

 

[ThePicker]

Maybe I'm butchering or over-simplifying the concept but that just moving in a non-linear way, more specifically, amping her state then toning back again a bit, up and down.

In practice, when it comes to texting, it's choosing when you reply to her messages. You don't want to be too eager with her but taking a break from texting at a high point is more effective than doing it when a an exchange runs it's course and winds down a bit. It keeps you in control and her chasing a bit and you don't come off as needy.

The same with escalation.
You: "You know, you and I should celebrate the start of winter with some mulled wine!"
Her: "Sure, would love too!"

If the iron is super hot, and she's horny you could and should escalate fast but that's rarely the case.
Instead, putting her on hold for a while is a better idea. Let the interaction wind down naturally and come back to it a bit later.

https://imgur.com/a/fLImBbU

Hello, I am actually really interested in the topic of fractionation.
Could you check my last post and share your thoughts on it?

Thank you mate!
Wish you the best hunting

Here's the link:

Date Plans - Using FRACTIONATION on a date

Hey everybody ! Recently I have been exploring this whole concept of fractionation, and I would like to start testing it. It really interests me, but I have no idea how to apply it on dates. Does anyone know any precanned routine I could use?. I have seen some on the Internet, but I would...

www.skilledseducer.com