Attraction windows: Why longer in social circles/work vs. cold approaches?

[The Byronic Man]

I get that attraction windows expire because women lose hope in you due to not moving things forward so she auto-rejects. But what is it about social circles and work that make attraction windows last months? And how do you know how long that window will last? I assume it's by her increasing coldness. In cold approaches, that window and coldness can come suddenly so it's more about recognizing those windows and taking action while you can.

 

[Richard]

The elements of attraction are more abundant and prevalent in a social circle or work area.

Social psychologists studied attraction and still do exponentially, and suggest that attraction is based on a few factors: propinquity, physical attraction, similarity, familiarity, complementarity, and reciprocal liking.

Upon cold approaching a few of those elements are either removed entirely, or severely hindered. But! In a social circle you're surrounded by people who are like yourself (reciprocal determinism), and thus automatically have familiarity, similarity, propinquity, and complementary elements which are lacking in a cold approach situation.

Basically attraction will last longer in a social group because more elements of attraction exist within it.

-Richard

 

[The Byronic Man]

How consistent is the VAC model of attraction with mainstream social psychology's understanding of attraction? It seems like attainability deals more with mitigating self-defense coping mechanisms.

 

[Richard]

To me, the VAC model is more geared towards the cold approach, and it works, but its the same reason the window is much smaller. Then again, you could argue that the VAC model is composed of the elements of attraction too. (Value being your ability to relate/ show similarity, etc.)

In my opinion, attainability is about value more than anything else. When you're not attainable, you're seen as higher value.

With the VAC cold approach model, you get girls chasing you, but they won't chase you forever, so you have a smaller window.

But, the elemental version of attraction garners mutual feelings so the window is larger, and the attraction lasts longer, but! the attraction is most often not sexual!

 

[Marty]

The elements of attraction are more abundant and prevalent in a social circle or work area.

Can anyone quantify the attraction decay curve in terms of hours of face-time (or whatever) in an occupational setting? It would be useful to know.