Avoid Negative Compliance By Probing

[foggy]

Asking probing questions before going for compliance allows you to get the extra information you need to be confident that your compliance request/suggestion/demand will be accepted by her. You will no longer have to worry about your attainability and value being messed up from negative compliance if she declines.

It’s also great for texting. Observing non-verbal IOIs play a big part in knowing when to get compliance from a girl. But we do not have that luxury over text. So using this technique, the high risk of generating negative compliance over the phone is diminished.

Probing questions are easy to implement, and provide immediate feedback on her receptiveness to your upcoming compliance test.

Below I have identified two different types of probing questions, Behavioral and Logistical, and examples of each. All probing questions are in bold.

1.0 Behavioral

girl: do you want to meet up tonight
fog: i have time to meet up tomorrow or this weekend
girl: hmmm i was planning on going to the gym tomorrow. can we do saturday evening?
fog: have you ever skipped the gym to hang out with a guy?
girl: i mean, maybe for you. i need that leg day pump tho.
fog: i have leg day tomorrow too. lets move our leg days to friday and meet tomorrow. it will be way more exciting
girl: hmm. ok. why not?

I almost said, “you should skip the gym and hang out with me”…but this was way more safe.

In certain situations where you are probing, sometimes you are implying something to the girl. It's similar to when youre building up to getting larger amounts of compliance with a yes ladder, and the girl knows whats going on due to the context. In this case, the girl knew I was testing for her receptivity.

2.0 Behavioral

Here are some more behavioural examples that show the results of not using probing questions vs using probing questions:

2.1 No Probing Questions

fog: imagine we ran away to hawaii together
girl: i couldn't just do that. i have a job!

We did not know if she would be receptive because we did not ask probing questions. She ultimately was not receptive and negative compliance was generated.

2.2 Probing Questions

fog: do you like your job?
girl: no i hate it
fog: would you rather travel?
girl: absolutely
fog: imagine we ran away to hawaii together
girl: thatd be so sick. everyone would be jealous of our tans

we discover she is receptive through probing questions, so it is safe to ask for compliance. she accepted it.

3.0 Logistical

Here’s the logistical type of probing questions. the same structure as section 2 is used.

In the below example, the girl says she can hang out at 730. but can she hang out earlier?

3.1 No Probing Questions

girl: i can do 730
fog: we should meet at 7
girl: sorry, 730 is the earliest i can do.

We did not know if she would be receptive because we did not ask probing questions. She ultimately was not receptive and negative compliance was generated.

3.2 Probing Questions

girl: i can do 730
fog: is 730 the earliest u can do?
girl: yes, why?
fog: just curious. so i know a great cafe we can meet at.

Through a probing question we discover she would not be receptive, thus it is unsafe to ask for compliance. We deflect and negative compliance is avoided.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

This is excellent.

Many times i've had information dropped to me by girls and then I didn't heed it (and even sometimes when I did ask a good probing question), and then I lose her.

Even sometimes the stupidest shit like this

3.1 No Probing Questions

girl: i can do 730
fog: we should meet at 7
girl: sorry, 730 is the earliest i can do.

We did not know if she would be receptive because we did not ask probing questions. She ultimately was not receptive and negative compliance was generated.

Once a girl gave me her schedule and I read it wrong, then gave a time when she was busy. I was like "Oh lol woops" then we settled on a better time. She flaked the day of the date. Coincidence? I think not.

All I had to do was read her text correctly.

In other situations, it's not listening or not asking the right questions to hear the answers I need to avoid negative compliance.

1.0 Behavioral

girl: do you want to meet up tonight
fog: i have time to meet up tomorrow or this weekend
girl: hmmm i was planning on going to the gym tomorrow. can we do saturday evening?
fog: have you ever skipped the gym to hang out with a guy?
girl: i mean, maybe for you. i need that leg day pump tho.
fog: i have leg day tomorrow too. lets move our leg days to friday and meet tomorrow. it will be way more exciting
girl: hmm. ok. why not?

I see the example and it makes sense, but this isn't a good dialogue. In this (hypothetical?) scenario you want to just go saturday evening But I understand your point.

These probing questions can also be used to make sure you don't have a value clash at any moment and HURT similarity. Yes you can avoid a lot of this by simply avoiding touchy topics (religion, politics, etc), but sometimes, you want to talk about deep shit.

It's okay to have your opinions and you shouldn't hide them to avoid upsetting a girl, but there's also some common courtesy here. Had tons of times where I ramble on with my opinions and don't notice she's getting a bit triggered. I find out from this that she really disagrees with my stance. I could have avoided this had I been a little more slow with my "here's what I believe, bitch" word vomit.

Or it could even be trivial shit.

Let's say you're with a girl and she has to leave soon. So you inquire,

"What are you doing later by the way?"

"I'm going to meet an old girlfriend of mine. We haven't spoke in years but we're gonna meet now."

Of course there's some drama here, so you want to wade carefully. So you ask a nice probing question to see if you should proceed

"Did you guys end on bad terms last time you saw each other? Sounds like there's some history with you, two?"

"Oh..well, it's a long story."

Ah okay, so you know there's some tension there and maybe this can be some fruitful conversation next time you see her and will allow you to get closer to her, but because you probed, you know that now is not the best time to go down that road.

You didn't risk fucking up the similarity by not reading her emotions correctly.

So, probing questions are exactly that - probes that allow you to decide where the next step of the conversation is. And it can help you avoid many, many issues, whether logistic or emotional.

Papi