- Joined
- Apr 7, 2013
- Messages
- 714
The Date
So I workout right before the date, but I'm still on time. We decide to meet at a certain area of the park, and she tells me she's gonna' be a little late. There's been something about American Asian girls lately: they think they're hotter than they actually are and they like to play games. Has anyone else dealt with that? I've dealt with it like three times... I tell her it's cool, while I'm giving her directions to the spot. This is my first date that didn't flake on me, but I didn't even wanna' call it a date... So I'm doing a few pull ups in a different area of the park, 1) I'm bored, 2)Once she gets there I'll still be "later" than her.
So she arrives and I roll up to the spot she's in. She's dressed how she usually dresses, shittily, but it's okay, I'm just in a bro-tank, jeans, and chukkas. Mind you it's like 80 degrees at least, hotter than the kitchen that I work in. So I give her a hug and all that, ask her what trouble she caused today, she gives me a few short answers, and here's where I know that something's up. As I'm asking her questions, it takes her a while before she'll give me extended answers. Hmm.
Then my first mistake, she says we should start walking, so I agree and get up and tell her to "come on". I should've led there. Whatever. So I start deep diving her, about her college experience for her first year, what she's gonna' do, why, blah blah blah. We get to a point where I ask her, "If you could do anything, money's not involved, what would you do?" I like this because the answer is usually completely different from what they're major is. So then I get to ask her about why she's doing what she is now, why not follow your dreams, etc. We're still talking, and she keeps insulting/teasing me. I either laugh it off or take fake offense to what she says. She does this quite often, and I don't know whether it's a sign of attraction or not...
We eventually walk full circle back to where we were after stopping a few times to sit. I got some decent kino in. I'm telling her about working out because she asked me, and she's looking at my arms a lot. A few times though, she mentioned "how attractive my other friends are". ...Oookay.
We walk through a garden and I lean on this weirdly shaped three. She stands around 5 awkward feet away. Haha. She's explaining something, and in the middle of that I interrupt her and say, "Hey, why are you standing so far away? Come here." All of this is said in a rather chill tone. I kept my vibe very chill throughout, because of her awkwardness, teasing, and blatant sex talk that I'll talk about in a sec. She says, "No, you smell weird." To which I respond. "Yeah, you always smell weird." She then moves around 3 feet closer, still not even within arms reach, and then I tell her to continue what she was saying.
We start walking again, and it starts to drizzle a bit. She suggests we go somewhere, I have nowhere to go, really, (except for home, but thank god I didn't...) so I say we should head to a gazebo nearby. We're walking, and occasionally in conversation she'll put in a random blatant sex joke. Like crude humor. I run with it, but I'm thrown off by the blatantness. We get to the gazebo, there's people in there. Great. So I say we should head to the train.
The walk on the train gives me time to think if I want to get her to come home with me. Home is around 45 minutes from there, so that sucks. Downtown is by her place, so that's a bit closer, but I dunno. As we're walking, she keeps making really really stupid jokes aimed at my body. I'm in pretty good shape, and my face is above average haha. So everytime she does, I laugh it off or whatever, but it's getting annoying and I'm losing attraction for this girl pretty quick. She makes a quip about, "how she can get some anytime" which I don't believe because this girl... Just no. I laugh that off as well. Then, after I had been touching her a bit, says, "Look, I know you don't get some often, but that doesn't mean you should force yourself on people." And I'm thinking, "Lolwut." Out of the two of us, this girl is obviously the less attractive physically,mentally, and is really uncalibrated socially. At this point I'm pretty done, and decide to take the route closer to her house.
This is the interesting part. After she said that shit, I got on the train, sat across from her instead of next to her as I had been most of the date, and looked around with the bored look on my face. NOW, she starts bombarding me with questions. She asks me about my road trip I'm taking next year, and says, "yeah, you're going on a spiritual journey or whatever." At this point I'm thinking she's auto-rejecting because I'm higher value than her, but I really don't care because this girl sucks.
We get downtown, and she kept mentioning getting food. I had told her repeatedly at the park I wasn't hungry. She goes to Chipotle and I make sure to go to the bathroom so she doesn't think I'm about to pay for her. I come out, she has her food, and we talk a bit more. Once she finishes, she tells me, "you're really chill." Don't know what this is supposed to mean, but whatever. I'm tired. She asks AGAIN, about my friends, saying that "If we went on a hike, do you think they would come?" Like, why would you go on this date with me if you think my friend's are the attractive ones? Anyways, she asks if we can hang out again after she gets back, I say yes, but have no intention of doing so. We get on the train and her stop is before mine. I hug her goodbye.
Things I think went wrong:
didn't go in for a kiss. I might as well have, couldn't have hurt.
I need to lead more.
I need a congruent response for teasing. If I think I'm higher value, self-deprecation would probably have worked better.
I need a wider range of touch. I mostly touched her stomach and arm. I need to expand that with more incidentals.
Better logistics. I'll tell you guys what happened at my place later in this post.
Ask her what she thinks of me.
I need more team effort phrasing. It felt like it was me against her a lot of the time, and she was losing haha.
Not polarizing enough. She should've known what I wanted, or left earlier. The whole date was wayy too long at like 2 1/2 hours.
Not sexual enough. I needed more voice tone and eye contact.
Lots of awkward distance moments where she would stand realllly far away. How do I fix that?
NO obvious sign of attraction on her part. What was that about?
Things done well:
There was a lot of touch, even if it wasn't placed the best.
I deep dived her pretty well. She said I wasn't talking much, yet I pretty much knew her past present and future.
I deflected most of her teasing. Maybe not well, but deflected none the less.
I got that compliance by the tree somehow haha.
On a side note, I don't know if having a chill vibe is something I wanted or not...+2
I went home later only to find out my roommate took all the plates, dishes, bowls, utensils, glasses, etc. So if I had brought her back, we wouldn't have made shakes...lmao.
Jake.
So I workout right before the date, but I'm still on time. We decide to meet at a certain area of the park, and she tells me she's gonna' be a little late. There's been something about American Asian girls lately: they think they're hotter than they actually are and they like to play games. Has anyone else dealt with that? I've dealt with it like three times... I tell her it's cool, while I'm giving her directions to the spot. This is my first date that didn't flake on me, but I didn't even wanna' call it a date... So I'm doing a few pull ups in a different area of the park, 1) I'm bored, 2)Once she gets there I'll still be "later" than her.
So she arrives and I roll up to the spot she's in. She's dressed how she usually dresses, shittily, but it's okay, I'm just in a bro-tank, jeans, and chukkas. Mind you it's like 80 degrees at least, hotter than the kitchen that I work in. So I give her a hug and all that, ask her what trouble she caused today, she gives me a few short answers, and here's where I know that something's up. As I'm asking her questions, it takes her a while before she'll give me extended answers. Hmm.
Then my first mistake, she says we should start walking, so I agree and get up and tell her to "come on". I should've led there. Whatever. So I start deep diving her, about her college experience for her first year, what she's gonna' do, why, blah blah blah. We get to a point where I ask her, "If you could do anything, money's not involved, what would you do?" I like this because the answer is usually completely different from what they're major is. So then I get to ask her about why she's doing what she is now, why not follow your dreams, etc. We're still talking, and she keeps insulting/teasing me. I either laugh it off or take fake offense to what she says. She does this quite often, and I don't know whether it's a sign of attraction or not...
We eventually walk full circle back to where we were after stopping a few times to sit. I got some decent kino in. I'm telling her about working out because she asked me, and she's looking at my arms a lot. A few times though, she mentioned "how attractive my other friends are". ...Oookay.
We walk through a garden and I lean on this weirdly shaped three. She stands around 5 awkward feet away. Haha. She's explaining something, and in the middle of that I interrupt her and say, "Hey, why are you standing so far away? Come here." All of this is said in a rather chill tone. I kept my vibe very chill throughout, because of her awkwardness, teasing, and blatant sex talk that I'll talk about in a sec. She says, "No, you smell weird." To which I respond. "Yeah, you always smell weird." She then moves around 3 feet closer, still not even within arms reach, and then I tell her to continue what she was saying.
We start walking again, and it starts to drizzle a bit. She suggests we go somewhere, I have nowhere to go, really, (except for home, but thank god I didn't...) so I say we should head to a gazebo nearby. We're walking, and occasionally in conversation she'll put in a random blatant sex joke. Like crude humor. I run with it, but I'm thrown off by the blatantness. We get to the gazebo, there's people in there. Great. So I say we should head to the train.
The walk on the train gives me time to think if I want to get her to come home with me. Home is around 45 minutes from there, so that sucks. Downtown is by her place, so that's a bit closer, but I dunno. As we're walking, she keeps making really really stupid jokes aimed at my body. I'm in pretty good shape, and my face is above average haha. So everytime she does, I laugh it off or whatever, but it's getting annoying and I'm losing attraction for this girl pretty quick. She makes a quip about, "how she can get some anytime" which I don't believe because this girl... Just no. I laugh that off as well. Then, after I had been touching her a bit, says, "Look, I know you don't get some often, but that doesn't mean you should force yourself on people." And I'm thinking, "Lolwut." Out of the two of us, this girl is obviously the less attractive physically,mentally, and is really uncalibrated socially. At this point I'm pretty done, and decide to take the route closer to her house.
This is the interesting part. After she said that shit, I got on the train, sat across from her instead of next to her as I had been most of the date, and looked around with the bored look on my face. NOW, she starts bombarding me with questions. She asks me about my road trip I'm taking next year, and says, "yeah, you're going on a spiritual journey or whatever." At this point I'm thinking she's auto-rejecting because I'm higher value than her, but I really don't care because this girl sucks.
We get downtown, and she kept mentioning getting food. I had told her repeatedly at the park I wasn't hungry. She goes to Chipotle and I make sure to go to the bathroom so she doesn't think I'm about to pay for her. I come out, she has her food, and we talk a bit more. Once she finishes, she tells me, "you're really chill." Don't know what this is supposed to mean, but whatever. I'm tired. She asks AGAIN, about my friends, saying that "If we went on a hike, do you think they would come?" Like, why would you go on this date with me if you think my friend's are the attractive ones? Anyways, she asks if we can hang out again after she gets back, I say yes, but have no intention of doing so. We get on the train and her stop is before mine. I hug her goodbye.
Things I think went wrong:
didn't go in for a kiss. I might as well have, couldn't have hurt.
I need to lead more.
I need a congruent response for teasing. If I think I'm higher value, self-deprecation would probably have worked better.
I need a wider range of touch. I mostly touched her stomach and arm. I need to expand that with more incidentals.
Better logistics. I'll tell you guys what happened at my place later in this post.
Ask her what she thinks of me.
I need more team effort phrasing. It felt like it was me against her a lot of the time, and she was losing haha.
Not polarizing enough. She should've known what I wanted, or left earlier. The whole date was wayy too long at like 2 1/2 hours.
Not sexual enough. I needed more voice tone and eye contact.
Lots of awkward distance moments where she would stand realllly far away. How do I fix that?
NO obvious sign of attraction on her part. What was that about?
Things done well:
There was a lot of touch, even if it wasn't placed the best.
I deep dived her pretty well. She said I wasn't talking much, yet I pretty much knew her past present and future.
I deflected most of her teasing. Maybe not well, but deflected none the less.
I got that compliance by the tree somehow haha.
On a side note, I don't know if having a chill vibe is something I wanted or not...+2
I went home later only to find out my roommate took all the plates, dishes, bowls, utensils, glasses, etc. So if I had brought her back, we wouldn't have made shakes...lmao.
Jake.
