LR-- Back at it again with the tinder dates.

[Skippy]

Let's call this girl Pam. Our tinder conversation was as follows:

Me: Pam! I like your aesthetic
Her: Too kind too kind
Her: I like the consistent lack of smiles in your pictures, gives you that mysterious edge
Me: well I do get told that I'm mysterious, so maybe that's why...and what would you say people describe you as?

Her: Mysterious and a person who eats entire pints of ice cream in one sitting

Me: well let's hangout sometime...we'll see how many pints of ice cream we can kill off together.

Her: Sounds like an a+ hangout. Oh wait, what is your opinion of the combination of peanut butter and chocolate

Me: I think it's [string of random emoticons] btw, my # is ---. you can shoot me a text and we'll plan something!

She texts me later:

Her: Hey its pam, is this ShuaiGe?
Me: yep what's your schedule like Friday/Saturday
Her: I'm doing relay for life Friday night-satrday morning but I think my saturday isn't busy as long as I'm not exhausted
Me; great! let's do dinner on Saturday, then. I have something fun planned, but it'll be a surprise

Her: It's not a prank, is it?
Me: no

Her: ok. then sounds fun
Her: Where are we doing dinner?

Me: it would'nt be a surprise if I told you now, would it We won't be going downtown though.

Her: I'm a little concerned that someone who I have nver met before is planning a surprise, if it is dinner at the dining hall, I'll be disappointed

Me: I guarantee we'll have a good time. and no it's not dinner at the dining hall. no more guesses

Her: Ok I'll just hope for this to not be one fo those, I think it's called a bear trap or something? Where a couple gets off to walking in on cheating on each other and then beating up the mistress

Me: Oh I only do that on tuesday nights, so I guess you're off the hook.

Her: Awesome, okay hah

next day

Her: Ok but really I'm going to need more context and a time and a meeting place before tomorrow.

Me: Of course let's say meet outside the library at 7:30 and we'll catch the next shuttle

her: So I won't be eating dinner until after 7:30?
Me: yeah , but time is flexible... we could even meet at 6:30 if that works better. there will be lots of food though


Her: This feels sketchy af but I like having crazy stories to tell so if this doesnt end in me running for my life or me experiencing humiliation, then idk what you are planning, 630 is better thank you

Me: eh dont worry so much. girls have usually enjoyed this kind of dinner date the most.
Me: see you tomorrow

Her: Ahh so you have done this date before?

day of the date
Her: Still 630 outside the library?
me: yep

So we meet up and I run my usual routine of taking her to the supermarket first to shop and then bringing her back to the apartment. the menu was exactly the same too. During conversation there, I mentioned that I had watched a documentary on polyamory and I thought it was pretty cool how people were in touch with their sexuality(thanks Drexel, for the advice!). Then we eat and before dessert, we go to my room to watch a movie.

I did my usual process of telling her to get the lights, and then putting my arm around her when she sat back down. And at one point she started rubbing my wrist and I got really turned on. When the movie ended, I just pulled her chin towards mine and started making out with her. she was getting really into it. This time, I took things a bit slowly and put my hand on her bra clasp and just caressed her back and her butt. then finally, I unfastened her bra with one hand and continued to progressively move her bra and touch her boobs from underneath her shirt. then I stopped her and we both took our shirts off. I tried to reach her pussy from the back but it didn't work. Then I unbuttoned her pants and continued making out with her. During this time, I kept trying to stimulate her pussy from outside, but I wasn't sure if it was making an effect and sometimes we would be dry humping. then she sat up and buttoned her pants back on. So I tried again twice but still got resistance. So I wasn't sure what to do from there. so I tried to get her to hold onto my dick, but she didn't want to the first couple of times. Then she finally held it and tried to jack me off. I still wasn't able to get her pants off though. I tried to start some dirty talking by asking her "what she was holding in her hand" and she said "I'm not going to say it" and I leaned in and playfully asked "Oh why's that" and she said "I dont want to". So I dropped it. dirty talk attempt failed lol

Then after some time, she abruptly got up and said she had to leave. And it was really awkward. so we put our clothes on and then we remembered the ice cream so we sat down and ended up talking for another 2hrs and then I took her back to the shuttle stop.
It's curious because the same thing happened with a previous tinder date. It's like they go into some sort of autorejection or attraction crash and then we have a long conversation and they are built back up. My prediction is tomorrow, after I text this girl, she'll be very happy.


Overall, I'm feeling pretty good that it ran so smoothly and that kissing is no longer that big a deal for me as it used to be. Now I'm curious as to how I could've handled LMR better. Since it's a failed escalation, I may not see her again, but I'm completely OK with that. Honestly, I'm not sure if I do want to see her again either.

What tips do you guys have for handling her LMR or just the date in general?

 

[Marcellus]

Hey Man,

She stayed with you for another 2 hours after the failed escalation, I think she was hoping that you would take control( She never left so it was sort of a second chance), salvage everything and take her to bed like a strong dominant male. I could be wrong tho!

Marcellus

 

[Skid]

Hey dood ,

I just have one comment , when you were intially setting up the date you tell her that : "girls have enjoyed this dinner date before" now i know youre trying to reassure her that shes gonna be safe but you really should be avoiding making girls feel like they are just a routine even if for you it is. It may have been one of the reasons she bailed during escalation. Do your best to make every girl feel special, tools like prelection for building attraction should be used when needed like when a girl plays silly games. Here she is complying and showing interest in you : there is no need to amplify her attraction else you risk auto reject.

As for the rest I'm not really sure what you did wrong. Although it might have been worth it giving it another go since she stayed with you as marc suggested. Something You could try is withdrawing your attention - so when she puts up resistance just say something like your going to bed because youre tired and give up go leave her and lay on your couch or in your room somewhere away from her but dont kick her out. And with some luck she'll come find you then when your happy with the effort shes putting in to get your attention then resume. Since your escalating does seem to be all pulling and no pushing.

Skid

 

[Skippy]

Thanks for the feedback, guys!

She stayed with you for another 2 hours after the failed escalation, I think she was hoping that you would take control( She never left so it was sort of a second chance), salvage everything and take her to bed like a strong dominant male. I could be wrong tho!

I think you're right. My guess is she got up to leave b/c she felt awkward and I just needed to build more comfort. I've noticed this happened before with another girl and I just talked with her. Next time, I'll start making out again. In fact, now that I think about it, whenever there was a lull in the conversation she would start it again. and when there was a long awkward silence, I was the one who got up to start clearing away the cups...so technically, I kicked her out ...

I just have one comment , when you were intially setting up the date you tell her that : "girls have enjoyed this dinner date before" now i know youre trying to reassure her that shes gonna be safe but you really should be avoiding making girls feel like they are just a routine even if for you it is. It may have been one of the reasons she bailed during escalation. Do your best to make every girl feel special, tools like prelection for building attraction should be used when needed like when a girl plays silly games. Here she is complying and showing interest in you : there is no need to amplify her attraction else you risk auto reject.

yeah that was a bit uncalibrated on my part haha

Something You could try is withdrawing your attention - so when she puts up resistance just say something like your going to bed because youre tired and give up go leave her and lay on your couch or in your room somewhere away from her but dont kick her out. And with some luck she'll come find you then when your happy with the effort shes putting in to get your attention then resume. Since your escalating does seem to be all pulling and no pushing.

Noted on the pulling/pushing. One question that I have about that is, how would I withdraw attention in such a way that she doesn't interpret it as me implying she should leave?