- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 418
This has been the first time I tried to sleep with a girl after my last field report, when I lost a chance with a very sexy girl due to sexual approach anxiety. I have been pretty down lately because of what I described there, prematurely ejaculating in my pants or instantly after penetration in my latest experiences. So for a while I didn't approach almost at all, and stayed busy with other things while trying to relax my mind, eat better and use masturbation to build my confidence to last more.
With all that in mind, I suddenly received a message on a dating app ( feeld, very recommended for sexually open people ) last weekend, by a girl we had matched during the summer, when I was travelling abroad. We didn't find time to meet then, and she told me that she would be passing from my city for 2 days. I told her I could meet her later in the evening of Friday after an event I had to attend. When the day came, I texted again around 20:30 if she is free later and while she responded positively, I got caught in a long conversation with some people in the event and ended up responding around 22:00 that I'm sorry and asked if she is around the city centre. To this she told me she was a bit knockout and her day was quite intense.
At that moment I kinda gave up on it, I was feeling that it was probably autorejection due to me not responding to her earlier saying she was free, but I wasn't hoping for much. Having had 2-3 beers after a long time and starting to feel it a bit, I went out to walk, and continued texting her at the same time to see if anything could be salvaged. Firstly I asked when she leaves tomorrow, she responded 9 am. I commented that it's a bit too much to wake up at 7 am for a coffee and she said: " I bet it would be worth it, but yeah a bit much ". That's when I thought, hmm this girl seems to be interested in meeting me but I feel I didn't give her enough attention. So I decided that ok I'll be forward and at the same time increase my attainability. I said: " haha are you extremely knockout right now? I'd love to see each other just for a bit. You came all the way, it's a shame...".
To that she answered: " I put the pigiama on
... it's a shame ". Then I thought ok she is back at the hotel, probably nothing is gonna happen, but she is not saying no, she is giving conditions, not objections, so whatever, I'm gonna respond to them and see how it goes. I said: " haha, I've got nothing against pigiamas, they can be sexy sometimes 
". Her answer: " Not the pigiama you use in a hostel, not sexy at all And too many layers to put on in order to get out ". I thought still conditions, so I kept going: " Well, I can always take my layers off, of course after a very productive conversation " . Her next response: " Same 
the problem is getting out of bed in order to have that conversation". I was still thinking another condition, I don't want to be too needy, but I want to show I really want to meet her and overcome her condition in a funny high value way, so I improvised and said: "Oh should I come and sneak behind the hostel security, quietly invade your room, and release you from your shackles to run happily away with me? " And eventually this was a game winning move and things started to change...
Her next response was: " Damn it, you're funny So now we are running away from the hostel monster?". I thought that yes she is investing back, let's keep going but carefully not to go way over the top and said: " Yeah, away from all the monsters that restrain us, totally free, together outside, enjoying are embracing whatever this beautiful life brings…" . Her next response was not very positive: " Mine is bringing a hostel bed". But at that point I was like, screw it, I brought it all the way here, I will deal with it as a condition as well, and said: " Oh I see, you want me to take you together with the bed? Practical and a bit naughty so I appreciate it 
". To that she responded: " Gosh that would be so practical indeed Come and get me, I will put my long hair out of the window so you can get me free ". That's when I thought ok, let's go for it, and said: " Send me the address and say no more ". And suddenly it happened: " This is crazy, are you siriously ask me to get out of bed? Like for real? ".
To be honest, although I brought the situation all the way there with my texting I got a bit anxious at that moment, it was something like damn I have to deliver now, but will I even manage to, having my latest sexual experiences in mind. However I decided that at this point I'll go all in and whatever happens, so I simply responded: "Yes". Then she answered if I know where her hostel is, and that I have to offer her a beer at least. I agreed, and said I can be there in 15'. Then she answered: " I can't believe I'm doing it", I told her I'm there in 7' and next thing we met outside the hostel.
We went to a place nearby for a beer, the vibe was pretty happy and excited, not in a deep sexual way, I would say more in the excitement of what I'm doing right now with this guy way. We sat across each other, talked about our lives a bit, about our experiences on the app, and our approaches in sexuality. She told me she appreciated a lot of foreplay, touch, being in the moment and guys not feeling they just have to perform but knowing they can be more relaxed and enjoy the situation and the connection. I was a bit like, haha she is really saying this to the right person with what has been happening lately in my life. I expressed my own approaches to sexuality which are not very far from hers, and also in ways that she would feel connected. In the end as we were finishing the drinks and the vibe was good, I asked her what are her plans for later, to which she responded: A beer at your place? And without a lot of effort we ended up taking the bus and going back to my place.
There things went pretty smoothly. Of course I had quite some anxiety, but I decided to focus on the moment and on her. She sat on a sofa at the end of the room, I sat at a chair a bit away, and after few seconds I told her something along the lines of "come a bit closer". She came straight above me at the chair and we started kissing, I kept focusing on the exchange of pleasure and how I can do things to her and although I was hard, I managed not to cum fairly easily. Things went naturally from there, clothes got taken off fast, I gave her some orgasms orally and then she gave me one back. We went for a second round and it went for long, I think I went too long and intensely in fact, I had a lot of pent-up desires sexually, so eventually when I finished again the condom broke. I got a bit anxious not gonna lie, she said that she is taking measures against pregnancy, I told her I should be good when it comes to stds and she told me the same as well. It has never happened to me before, so I'm still a bit anxious for things going wrong when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy, although she did seem a trustworthy person.
All in all, it was a very interesting experience, I went back to being sexually active in satisfying ways, without prematurely ejaculating and I had some amazing time. That said the fact the condom broke was a bit of a downer eventually. I do hope she is saying the truth and everything will go well, I don't see many reasons why she would lie. She has left the country already now, but we exchanged numbers, since we had such a good time. For the future, one lesson is to be persistent in high value and attainability ways and it can bring you great results. A second one is to keep not being so much in my head when sexual, and focus more in the moment and the girl and things will go well in general. And a third lesson is to take care of the condom, I think I'm using them well in general, but went too long and hard this time, so it would be good to have changed it before finishing. Ιf more experienced people have had situations like that happen, I would appreciate any recommendation when it comes to how to deal with them. Judging on the statistics I also read, it's not very easy to get a serious disease, so not sure how much anxiety could be justified for going raw.
With all that in mind, I suddenly received a message on a dating app ( feeld, very recommended for sexually open people ) last weekend, by a girl we had matched during the summer, when I was travelling abroad. We didn't find time to meet then, and she told me that she would be passing from my city for 2 days. I told her I could meet her later in the evening of Friday after an event I had to attend. When the day came, I texted again around 20:30 if she is free later and while she responded positively, I got caught in a long conversation with some people in the event and ended up responding around 22:00 that I'm sorry and asked if she is around the city centre. To this she told me she was a bit knockout and her day was quite intense.
At that moment I kinda gave up on it, I was feeling that it was probably autorejection due to me not responding to her earlier saying she was free, but I wasn't hoping for much. Having had 2-3 beers after a long time and starting to feel it a bit, I went out to walk, and continued texting her at the same time to see if anything could be salvaged. Firstly I asked when she leaves tomorrow, she responded 9 am. I commented that it's a bit too much to wake up at 7 am for a coffee and she said: " I bet it would be worth it, but yeah a bit much ". That's when I thought, hmm this girl seems to be interested in meeting me but I feel I didn't give her enough attention. So I decided that ok I'll be forward and at the same time increase my attainability. I said: " haha are you extremely knockout right now? I'd love to see each other just for a bit. You came all the way, it's a shame...".
To that she answered: " I put the pigiama on
... it's a shame ". Then I thought ok she is back at the hotel, probably nothing is gonna happen, but she is not saying no, she is giving conditions, not objections, so whatever, I'm gonna respond to them and see how it goes. I said: " haha, I've got nothing against pigiamas, they can be sexy sometimes ". Her answer: " Not the pigiama you use in a hostel, not sexy at all And too many layers to put on in order to get out ". I thought still conditions, so I kept going: " Well, I can always take my layers off, of course after a very productive conversation " . Her next response: " Same the problem is getting out of bed in order to have that conversation". I was still thinking another condition, I don't want to be too needy, but I want to show I really want to meet her and overcome her condition in a funny high value way, so I improvised and said: "Oh should I come and sneak behind the hostel security, quietly invade your room, and release you from your shackles to run happily away with me? " And eventually this was a game winning move and things started to change...Her next response was: " Damn it, you're funny So now we are running away from the hostel monster?". I thought that yes she is investing back, let's keep going but carefully not to go way over the top and said: " Yeah, away from all the monsters that restrain us, totally free, together outside, enjoying are embracing whatever this beautiful life brings…" . Her next response was not very positive: " Mine is bringing a hostel bed
". But at that point I was like, screw it, I brought it all the way here, I will deal with it as a condition as well, and said: " Oh I see, you want me to take you together with the bed? Practical and a bit naughty so I appreciate it ". To that she responded: " Gosh that would be so practical indeed Come and get me, I will put my long hair out of the window so you can get me free ". That's when I thought ok, let's go for it, and said: " Send me the address and say no more ". And suddenly it happened: " This is crazy, are you siriously ask me to get out of bed? Like for real? ".To be honest, although I brought the situation all the way there with my texting I got a bit anxious at that moment, it was something like damn I have to deliver now, but will I even manage to, having my latest sexual experiences in mind. However I decided that at this point I'll go all in and whatever happens, so I simply responded: "Yes". Then she answered if I know where her hostel is, and that I have to offer her a beer at least. I agreed, and said I can be there in 15'. Then she answered: " I can't believe I'm doing it", I told her I'm there in 7' and next thing we met outside the hostel.
We went to a place nearby for a beer, the vibe was pretty happy and excited, not in a deep sexual way, I would say more in the excitement of what I'm doing right now with this guy way. We sat across each other, talked about our lives a bit, about our experiences on the app, and our approaches in sexuality. She told me she appreciated a lot of foreplay, touch, being in the moment and guys not feeling they just have to perform but knowing they can be more relaxed and enjoy the situation and the connection. I was a bit like, haha she is really saying this to the right person with what has been happening lately in my life. I expressed my own approaches to sexuality which are not very far from hers, and also in ways that she would feel connected. In the end as we were finishing the drinks and the vibe was good, I asked her what are her plans for later, to which she responded: A beer at your place? And without a lot of effort we ended up taking the bus and going back to my place.
There things went pretty smoothly. Of course I had quite some anxiety, but I decided to focus on the moment and on her. She sat on a sofa at the end of the room, I sat at a chair a bit away, and after few seconds I told her something along the lines of "come a bit closer". She came straight above me at the chair and we started kissing, I kept focusing on the exchange of pleasure and how I can do things to her and although I was hard, I managed not to cum fairly easily. Things went naturally from there, clothes got taken off fast, I gave her some orgasms orally and then she gave me one back. We went for a second round and it went for long, I think I went too long and intensely in fact, I had a lot of pent-up desires sexually, so eventually when I finished again the condom broke. I got a bit anxious not gonna lie, she said that she is taking measures against pregnancy, I told her I should be good when it comes to stds and she told me the same as well. It has never happened to me before, so I'm still a bit anxious for things going wrong when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy, although she did seem a trustworthy person.
All in all, it was a very interesting experience, I went back to being sexually active in satisfying ways, without prematurely ejaculating and I had some amazing time. That said the fact the condom broke was a bit of a downer eventually. I do hope she is saying the truth and everything will go well, I don't see many reasons why she would lie. She has left the country already now, but we exchanged numbers, since we had such a good time. For the future, one lesson is to be persistent in high value and attainability ways and it can bring you great results. A second one is to keep not being so much in my head when sexual, and focus more in the moment and the girl and things will go well in general. And a third lesson is to take care of the condom, I think I'm using them well in general, but went too long and hard this time, so it would be good to have changed it before finishing. Ιf more experienced people have had situations like that happen, I would appreciate any recommendation when it comes to how to deal with them. Judging on the statistics I also read, it's not very easy to get a serious disease, so not sure how much anxiety could be justified for going raw.
