- Joined
- Aug 12, 2013
- Messages
- 17
Hey everyone, what's up? It's Alex here, and I'm back with a few questions for you guys! They're going to be pretty basic here, probably around fundamental levels.
Recently I've exploring social circle environments since high school started, and have been running into a few issues with my goals. I'd like to be a sexy, dominant, leading man, however my current mindsets and skills don't match up with that. I think that I might be trying to hard too impress or getting everyone to like me, which is definitely a concern; I have reviewed the articles covering that stuff, but I still don't think I have really attained those thought processes yet. I believe Chase said once that getting the techniques down would achieve the correct mindsets as a result somewhere, and this might be a case of that. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
Anyways, I've just been having trouble adjusting to interacting with people more than I used to. Often times I feel like I'm boring, or don't add much to the interaction. Mostly I have an idea of what to say sometimes, but either my brain just doesn't make the connections or I fail to deliver the questions right. Any tips on getting conversational skills down more efficiently? Seems like experience is the crux of getting this down, but not sure what's the best way. Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated!
Besides that, I've got a couple more questions about socializing.
#1) How to capture a group's attention?
Sometimes the conversation will be going on and on, and I'll occasionally have something to add for once. Problem is, sometimes people ignore me when I speak or try to capture people's attention. I figure there's probably a reason for that, like bad body language or something. It's possible that it's also because I haven't been very active in the conversation before, and my attempts to join now are just getting rebuffed. Anyone know more about this?
#2) How to have a good conversation in groups?
From some experience before, it feels sorta awkward to be deep diving others when we're in a multi-person group. I've been having trouble participating a lot, and have probably been giving a very aloof vibe as a result. Occasionally I find myself silently hanging around and just listening in to the conversation, maybe laughing at the right cues on occasion. Are there any ways to start getting involved with the group and having fun conversation? In certain conversations I'm able to add my own thoughts on serious topics, but I feel like I'm a bit lost with more light, carefree stuff. I'd love to be a cool, well-humored guy; I've mostly been toning down on my jokes for awhile since I was an entertainer in the past. Witty comments seem to be the way to go, but unsure of how to generate and deliver those quickly and effortlessly now.
On another note, I'm wondering about how to manage threads within groups. Sometimes we'll be talking about something boring and uninteresting, but nobody moves us on and we just progress to silence. Then there are occasionally vent sessions, or topics about something negative, and I don't know how to turn us onto a positive note.
Looks like this has become a question on general conversations haha. I've read the Conversationalist article from Chase, but I'm still unsure how to implement what he's talking about. Probably a scenario where the best learning comes from actual experience rather than a description. In that case, are there any movies or TV shows will characters I should examine especially for this type of stuff as well?
#3) How do you enter another conversation?
Every once in a while I'll be sitting alone, not interacting with anybody around me. Usually they'll be in their own conversations with their own groups. In that case, I'm wondering how I can start talking and interacting with those people? Should I be searching for loners, even if they're not the type of people I'd really love to talk to? I'd honesty really would like to know if and how it's possible to smoothly and effortlessly enter a conversation between a group, and make friends/connections with the people there? My theory is that this might have be something to do with vibing, but it's fine if I'm wrong.
If any of my questions or speculations have been answered/clarified in another post, I'd love a direction to that if possible. I don't usually like repeating questions over and over again, but sometimes I'll miss a few threads about what I'm looking for. And also, if there are any useful transcripts, videos, or other media I could study too, that would be awesome!
The community and Girls Chase staff have already answered some of my other questions, and it's really awesome to have someone else already experience and solve problems I've already had. Thanks in advance for any help guys!
See you later,
-Alex
Recently I've exploring social circle environments since high school started, and have been running into a few issues with my goals. I'd like to be a sexy, dominant, leading man, however my current mindsets and skills don't match up with that. I think that I might be trying to hard too impress or getting everyone to like me, which is definitely a concern; I have reviewed the articles covering that stuff, but I still don't think I have really attained those thought processes yet. I believe Chase said once that getting the techniques down would achieve the correct mindsets as a result somewhere, and this might be a case of that. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
Anyways, I've just been having trouble adjusting to interacting with people more than I used to. Often times I feel like I'm boring, or don't add much to the interaction. Mostly I have an idea of what to say sometimes, but either my brain just doesn't make the connections or I fail to deliver the questions right. Any tips on getting conversational skills down more efficiently? Seems like experience is the crux of getting this down, but not sure what's the best way. Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated!
Besides that, I've got a couple more questions about socializing.
#1) How to capture a group's attention?
Sometimes the conversation will be going on and on, and I'll occasionally have something to add for once. Problem is, sometimes people ignore me when I speak or try to capture people's attention. I figure there's probably a reason for that, like bad body language or something. It's possible that it's also because I haven't been very active in the conversation before, and my attempts to join now are just getting rebuffed. Anyone know more about this?
#2) How to have a good conversation in groups?
From some experience before, it feels sorta awkward to be deep diving others when we're in a multi-person group. I've been having trouble participating a lot, and have probably been giving a very aloof vibe as a result. Occasionally I find myself silently hanging around and just listening in to the conversation, maybe laughing at the right cues on occasion. Are there any ways to start getting involved with the group and having fun conversation? In certain conversations I'm able to add my own thoughts on serious topics, but I feel like I'm a bit lost with more light, carefree stuff. I'd love to be a cool, well-humored guy; I've mostly been toning down on my jokes for awhile since I was an entertainer in the past. Witty comments seem to be the way to go, but unsure of how to generate and deliver those quickly and effortlessly now.
On another note, I'm wondering about how to manage threads within groups. Sometimes we'll be talking about something boring and uninteresting, but nobody moves us on and we just progress to silence. Then there are occasionally vent sessions, or topics about something negative, and I don't know how to turn us onto a positive note.
Looks like this has become a question on general conversations haha. I've read the Conversationalist article from Chase, but I'm still unsure how to implement what he's talking about. Probably a scenario where the best learning comes from actual experience rather than a description. In that case, are there any movies or TV shows will characters I should examine especially for this type of stuff as well?
#3) How do you enter another conversation?
Every once in a while I'll be sitting alone, not interacting with anybody around me. Usually they'll be in their own conversations with their own groups. In that case, I'm wondering how I can start talking and interacting with those people? Should I be searching for loners, even if they're not the type of people I'd really love to talk to? I'd honesty really would like to know if and how it's possible to smoothly and effortlessly enter a conversation between a group, and make friends/connections with the people there? My theory is that this might have be something to do with vibing, but it's fine if I'm wrong.
If any of my questions or speculations have been answered/clarified in another post, I'd love a direction to that if possible. I don't usually like repeating questions over and over again, but sometimes I'll miss a few threads about what I'm looking for. And also, if there are any useful transcripts, videos, or other media I could study too, that would be awesome!
The community and Girls Chase staff have already answered some of my other questions, and it's really awesome to have someone else already experience and solve problems I've already had. Thanks in advance for any help guys!
See you later,
-Alex
