Bathroom Hookup Gone Wrong/snapping out of it

[ChristianB]

This weekend at a small party I met this v cute girl. I approached her in when she was in her friend group at first and did a good job kind of talking to everyone while making it clear to her at least that there was some interest. I then re-approached at an opportune time, and we really started to hit it off. After talking for around half an hour handling some of her shit-tests well she got really hooked and the inertia/tension was too strong and we started making out (we were outside and away from people). After a few mins, she said "do you wanna go to the bathroom," so we went back inside, made some polite chatter with the people around the bathroom then got inside and started making out there. I started fingering her and she kind of pushed back and was like "whoa" (this was after probably a min or two of fingering her), i thought at the time i was pressing a bit too hard (i was) and that was the concern, and i ended up switching to just rubbing her clit. She was definitely enjoying this and was very turned on, but then after a 2-3 mins of this she "snapped out of the spell" in a way and checked her phone while im still rubbing and said her friends needed her (the standard low effort excuse). however her attraction for me was still there even as she was leaving and i could tell she didn't really want to leave but did. she ended up chatting with her gay friend (I'm assuming after talking to him, but at least an effeminate dude) and i left to rejoin the party. weirdly enough she walked past me without saying goodbye (its likely but not certain that she saw me), and i walked up to her and said goodbye still a little dumbfounded by what happened (she was very distant and still with her gay friend before she left alone). i didn't come across as needy in saying goodbye, but i did have a vibe of honest confusion and she was acting distant.

The reason i'm posting this is because i'm trying to figure out where I went wrong here/an explanation for what I could've done better. I had her isolated, compliant and she was completely attracted. She wasn't even tipsy so alcohol wasn't really a factor here (she may have not even been drinking, this seems likely the more I think about it since i never saw her holding a drink). It certainly would've been a better move to have pulled back from making out and brought her home with me, but I never considered a bathroom hookup to be that risky of a scenario in terms of LMR (although I've only had a few of these so perhaps this is a faulty assumption). I asked her gay/effeminate friend what the deal was (i figured i wouldn't see her again anyway so my as well try to figure out what went wrong) and after ducking the question (he kept saying "its all good man! its nothing to do with you, were all chillin" he said "you didn't do anything wrong, she just snapped out of it, she's only 19 girls that age are just emotional and unpredictable." i guess that may be the best explanation, in the sense that she snapped out of it for just long enough to think "oh shit, im getting fingered in a bathroom with a guy i just met, i probably shouldn't be doing this." part of me also thinks i shouldve just skipped the fingering and asked her if she wanted to fuck when the iron was hottest. maybe the moral of the story is to only go for bathroom/weird location pulls if its the only option? or maybe this was just a fluke/uncommon scenario. if anyone has any insight or thoughts on this i'd be interested to know. thanks.

 

[Skills]

you spiked her bt too high and then crashed, then she had a state change

 

[moom]

She definitely had a state change- however, from what it sounds like to me, you moved too slow.

So first, it seems you were fingering her a for 2 minutes before she pulled you off. Why’d you stall the escalation at fingering?

It seems like the escalation stagnated for a bit and you didn't escalate much from there, so her logical brain started kicking in and she pushed you off. I always escalate until I face resistance, especially in quick moving scenarios like that. If a girl asks you to go to the bathroom, she wants to fuck.

Then when her logical brain kicked in, you took a step back and rubbed her clit. I’m assuming you wern’t getting her any closer to orgasm that way and at some point it probably just got annoying for her since again, it seems like you took a step back and stalled again. Perhaps even got a bit needy when you didn’t see things going your way? I know you got a little bit needy for sure since you went to the gay friend and asked him that question.

How I would have handled it:
-The moment we got in the bathroom, start making out
-escalate, tease, pull back, escalate FAST.
-If I face any resistance, I pull back one step and start up the ladder again.
- If I face resistance at the same point a second time, I stop, pull back, and make a joke saying “hey lets go back outside to grab a drink before someone runs in wanting to take a shit”. Now I usually persist like 3-5 times in a bedroom setting but in a bathroom environment, everything needs to happen FAST.

The bathroom in the middle of a party is an exciting and fast paced environment and you need to get your cock in her asap, even if its just for a short 2 minute fuck. You can always take her back later for more.

From the way you worded if, this is what I think happened.

 

[Skills]

She definitely had a state change- however, from what it sounds like to me, you moved too slow.

So first, it seems you were fingering her a for 2 minutes before she pulled you off. Why’d you stall the escalation at fingering?

It seems like the escalation stagnated for a bit and you didn't escalate much from there, so her logical brain started kicking in and she pushed you off. I always escalate until I face resistance, especially in quick moving scenarios like that. If a girl asks you to go to the bathroom, she wants to fuck.

Then when her logical brain kicked in, you took a step back and rubbed her clit. I’m assuming you wern’t getting her any closer to orgasm that way and at some point it probably just got annoying for her since again, it seems like you took a step back and stalled again. Perhaps even got a bit needy when you didn’t see things going your way? I know you got a little bit needy for sure since you went to the gay friend and asked him that question.

How I would have handled it:
-The moment we got in the bathroom, start making out
-escalate, tease, pull back, escalate FAST.
-If I face any resistance, I pull back one step and start up the ladder again.
- If I face resistance at the same point a second time, I stop, pull back, and make a joke saying “hey lets go back outside to grab a drink before someone runs in wanting to take a shit”. Now I usually persist like 3-5 times in a bedroom setting but in a bathroom environment, everything needs to happen FAST.

The bathroom in the middle of a party is an exciting and fast paced environment and you need to get your cock in her asap, even if its just for a short 2 minute fuck. You can always take her back later for more.

From the way you worded if, this is what I think happened.

^ excellent he miss his window by fingering for so long that his missed his window of opportunity..it stop feeling good for her, you guys didn't have much time cause her friends were there... she snapped out of it, you took too long, cause after a while she was worried the friends would miss her absence... dude great break down...

 

[ChristianB]

@Skills yeah you're right, definitly spiked BT too fast and didn't capitalize fast enough

@momo93 yeah that sounds exactly right, i think i was a bit hesitant escalating and that was the big problem. another factor that looking back seems more important that i didn't mention was that she made a brief 2 min conversation with some girl on the way to the bathroom. this probably took her a bit out of state already. would've been best to move faster and be the one to pull back (as you said) if she wasn't rolling with it or just get her home to not have to deal with it. Thanks for the analysis this is spot on