Beating yourself up!

[Zoro]

I have always had a bad habit of beating myself up or criticizing myself too strongly. This just builds anxiety and is counter productive to anything in mind. Being in a relaxed state is where I am able to push past comfort zones best.

This being said, I fear that easing up on myself will get me too "loose" and end up lazy, losing sight of the goal.

I definitely need to loosen up, yet I have big goals and require discipline. Haha, I laughed to myself at the last part, sounds like I'm a masochist!

Ideally disciplining in a way that is empowering, not a beat down.

I'm wondering, how you keep yourself in check?

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey J Wick,

Yeah, this is also something I was struggling with for a while. The end conclusion for me was a mix of a few things:

1.) Actually going out and taking action - For people like us, if we're not going out and getting results, we're going to become ridiculously frustrated. Nothing can replace this. You can't read GC articles or post on the forum to feel better. You just have to tackle the issue head on.

2.) Take a lighter attitude - I was noticing something constantly re-occurring in people who regularly post LR's on this site. They have a tendency to ignore (but take note of and learn from) past mistakes, and focus heavily on the results they were making. You'll also see that they show excitement to learning and experiencing more. You need to emulate this attitude, or fake that attitude until you make it. And even further, if you're practicing right, this is what you are doing with women. You filter out the conversation (thread-cut) and topics that don't move things forward, and you interpret everything else as a sign of interest to move the interaction to next step of your process. Do this with yourself, too, and only focus on achieving results.

3.) Improve your posture - Watch this TED video, and you'll see what I mean - http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your ... u_are.html

Zphix and I are about to post what looks like a really promising, kickass post for GC. It'll have some content that'll apply to your situation, so watch for it! We'll have it soon up .

Cheers,
Jake

 

[Marty]

Hey PD,

Agree with all 3 points (and yes I loved that Amy Cuddy video when I watched it a few weeks back!) but I especially take inspiration from this:

They have a tendency to ignore (but take note of and learn from) past mistakes, and focus heavily on the results they were making. You'll also see that they show excitement to learning and experiencing more. You need to emulate this attitude, or fake that attitude until you make it.

You're right, I've noticed whenever I get into that frame of mind, I'm on a roll. Thanks for verbalizing it, spelling it out, and thus reminding me!

-Marty

PS: this drives me wild... Prof Amy Cuddy power pose ;-)