- Joined
- May 22, 2016
- Messages
- 86
Around a month ago there was a festival in the city on my birthday, my wing and I went out even in the shitty weather that consisted of rain and bursts of cold wind. We opened about 10 girls, I made out with 2 girls, got 2 numbers. This report is about the blonde that I met. I saw her with her friend dancing casually in the city square where there were thousands of people. My wing opened her friend and I opened the blonde, let's call her Alice. I opened her indirectly but was very physical from the beginning. Commanding her, being a bit silly, turning her around or pulling her close to me for a hug as soon as I could feel she was responsive. So after about 5 minutes we both mention that we should exchange numbers and I take her phone to call myself and add it to her contacts. I then grab her head, pull her towards me and give her a her a kiss before saying farewell and leaving to open more girls.
The next morning I receive a message from her saying "Hi, this is Alice
" so I do the usual opener. The following day I send her a message to get some drinks and I don't hear back from her for 3 or 4 days, at which point I make myself forget about her and focus on other girls, when all of a sudden I get a reply saying she can meet me the day after (Sunday). So I set up a meeting in the city center at 19:00 and she comes on time with great energy. We have a lot of physical contact, she initiates a lot of touch and I reward her for it but in hindsight I was not bold enough, as you'll see. I take her to an Irish pub that's very cosy with leather couches and almost empty so there's no loud drunk people or social pressure, we order soda and the bartender charges me for both so I inadvertently pay for the drinks, which is petty change but I cared more about falling in the "boyfriend" role rather than the money spent. Anyways, it would have been awkward to ask him to give the money back. So we take seats. I deep dive her, ask her about her passions, her plans for college (she's 18) her travels and all of that. We vibe quite nicely, and I tease her and chase frame to keep things fun from time to time.
What I did wrong at that date was, not asking her how much time she had, not having clear goals for the date (taking her back for sex/ending it on my terms for informational one) so generally lack of leading. After about 1.5 hours when we're really comfortable with each other, at which point she would have been ready to fuck, she excuses herself to the bathroom and says she needs to catch the last bus back, so I calmly say OK and she gets a tad bit surprised at that. I think that was either because she assumed I would invite her home and I fucked up an escalation window or because she thought I was going to be needy and get sad that she's leaving. I walk her to the bus station 10 minutes away and we continue to have a kick ass conversation while we touch each other a lot, and where I should have perhaps kissed her passionately. When it's almost time for her to board the bus, I do the mistake of planning the second date with a dinner cook off challenge (it involved some callback humor) that we could do together and she says that sounds wonderful, so I give her a kiss at the very end and let her go and which point she looks to me with doe eyes while walking to the bus.
I text her the next day and then tell her to let me know when she's free. Welll....shittt.. I don't get a response for about a week, so I chalk it up to experience and get angry at myself for not moving fast with her and getting her into auto-rejection, while later on I get into auto-rejection. After some days later, my wing and I were out for night game and I see Alice with her same friend from the festival, and I casually walk past them with my buddy as we go into a club. I'm sure they noticed us, but I didn't want to go up to them like a little puppy because at that point she hadn't even responded to my text and I assumed she wasn't interested. They start riding their bikes and go past us, while Alice turns back to look at us just as they're leaving the street, probably to confirm to themselves that it indeed was us that they saw. So my buddy recommends that I block her on WhatsApp and meet more girls. And I say what the hell and do just that, since I was pretty pissed at the moment that she didn't even want to try a second date with me after our great connection.
Now, normally I thought this story would end here with me sitting with my dick in my hand but about a week later in school I get a text message, rather than a whatsapp message from Alice, saying "Hey Alchemist, couldn't contact you in WhatsApp, is everything alright?". So I'm pretty surprised at that. I tell her the next day "Hey Alice, didn't hear anything back from you, so I assumed you flew away into the sunset heading for Spain. How are things going with you?" (callback humor). And then later on she texts me, "I would have taken you with me", so I say "If the plane had a private chamber for us, I wouldn't mind " and I proceed to set up a date with her for that Saturday. She says it's perfect and sends me a message on that morning that she'll be there and about 6 hours before the date she tells me she can't come because she forgot her sister's birthday, and that she's really sorry. About 45 minutes before the date I casually reply "It's okay, don't sweat it. Can happen to anyone". That night she says, "I'm really sorry, can you meet next week?", I don't reply until the next day at which I say "I've got a pretty busy week, tell me which evenings you're free and we'll set something up " So, a day later (she's playing the slow texting game) she says she's free on Friday and Saturday, to which I say Friday 19:00 is perfect for me and she agrees to come to my place for dinner.
She tells me she can't eat gluten or anything with lactose so I change my plans and make a huge bowl of fresh salad, and an hour before the date she asks whether she should bring something, so I tell her "Bring something to drink if you'd like". Where I don't specify alcohol, because I don't want girls to feel like I want them under cloudy judgment or something. Now that I think about it, every girl that I invited home has brought an alcoholic drink themselves, so I think this process is perfect. And she comes about half an hour late because she couldn't find my place and I pick her up from the street and lead her to my place.
I had promised my friend I'd pay him 50 euros for every girl that I didn't kiss within 10 minutes back at my place, so after I show her my small bachelor pad and my balcony I lead her to the kitchen and feed her some of the salad and ask her how it tastes, when she replied I grabbed her head and gave her a nice kiss, looked off to the side, contemplating for a second and said "I agree it tastes nice". Then I gave her a sly smile. (Yes, I planned long and hard about that kissing tactic... We set up the table in the balcony, had our meal with our wine as we talked. I chase framed, got physical on the edge of the rails, then told her that I found a secret entrance to the roof of our building that was used for maintenance. She was extremely interested. When we finished our meals I lead her up stairs and on to the roof where I held her hand and we had an awesome view of the city as the sun was setting, we made out for 10 minutes and talked a bit. When we were staring at each other, she gave me a compliment out of nowhere "You know, your eyes are so beautiful" , so I kissed her hard and told her her lips are almost as sweet as the wine we were drinking, to which she blushed and laughed. When the sun went down and the breeze picked up, I lead her downstairs back to my room. We each went to the restroom, but I could feel she was squirming to kiss me more (by the way, first time I kissed her, I pulled away first, gave her a powerful look and continued kissing her). I started playing Melody Gardot (check that shit out) and by the time I was back from the restroom she was on my bed with the bedroom eyes, so I sat next to her with my hand on her thighs. After some moments, I moved her chin to my face and started to make out again. I was grabbing her everywhere and turning up the heat. I pulled her dress away, made her sit on my lap, took of her bra, holy fucking shit she had amazing breasts. It really wasn't obvious from the things she wore but Christ almighty they were my favorite size, shape and form. I go crazy at that point and start sucking on her nipples and then throw her at my bed while I take my clothes off, I then take her leggings and panties off, and mmm that's what I'd been working for for months. I've got a big chubby at this point but at the very far corners of my mind I'm thinking "If I don't get hard and give her an amazing time this will all turn to shit". I take out the condom and put it on my 3/4 erect dick and have a bit trouble getting it in her, so at that point I get a bit more nervous. Here's detailed why:
Anyways, I finally get hard enough and start fucking her and it feels fucking AMAZING, her breasts bouncing around her lips and her hair. God damn I'm grabbing her ass and it feels so big but the FUCKING condom feels like it's strangling my dick and it's like an old fashioned shower head where it's either freezing cold or the depths of hell hot, and I feel like I'm either losing my erection or almost about to cum. I keep kissing her everywhere and telling her how amazing her sexy she is but after about 10 minutes doing the adapted missionary in not a good way, I cool myself down and start fingering her. I focus on her g-spot and she starts breathing heavy almost to the point of coming but I think that either I wasn't doing it right or she was feeling nervous or a mixture of the two and she would tell me "It's alright". Maybe I should have told her to relax or asked her if she ever squirted before, I mean when I made other girls squirt from G-spot, it made me feel like a pimp and I'd love to do it again but I've got so much to learn and so much was in my head at the time. After about two times bringing her very close to cumming or actually cumming? (she was contracting in her pussy and trembling a bit but she didn't pull my hand away due to supersensitivity following an orgasm or make any noises) in fact she was very quiet throughout the whole sex, which made me feel a bit self conscious, as if my dick didn't fill her up enough to make her feel something, coupled with the fact that I was in my head and erections started dying off randomly. I'd tell her, "I know we talked about spirituality and living in the present moment, but right now I'm really in my head and have trouble focusing and enjoying you" to which she just giggled and said it was just fine and we would kiss again. I dunno guys, I kinda felt like the dominant guy that she was attracted to was watered down in the sex and I'm afraid of this happening to any new girl that I have sex with.
So after 20 minutes, she said she'd like to dress and leave, and I was feeling shitty because I hadn't given her mind blowing sex and couldn't fully enjoy myself as well. I told her, you can leave in 15 minutes, to which she said "Okay, just for you" while giggling and I gave her a look up and down her body and said "Well, you're not giving me much choice, I've got to do this" while I was caressing her body and we were kissing again.
I'm not sure how much you guys compliment girls during sex. I mean this girl was definitely not inexperienced but she's 18 so she can't have had too many guys before me, I could feel at some points she felt a bit self conscious and tried to place her hands in some parts of her body in reflex and stuff. Sometimes I think I go too beta mode and flatter the shit out of girls and how sexy they are as I'm in bed. In one of the GC articles it says that you shouldn't act differently after sex from how you were before, but I haven't got the calibration down. And this condom/performance anxiety combo prevents me from dominating girls with complete confidence and owning the situation before and after sex.
So there it was, she got dressed up, got all of her things. Thanked me for the night and dinner, made a remark about one of the bands she recommended me to listen and as she was about to leave I commanded her with my body language and gave her a couple more deep kisses before she left.
I sent her a message saying "Morning Alice, had a great time last night" Honestly since the anxiety of first time is gone now, I know I could make her have an awesome time in bed as we'd both be comfortable and enjoying each other while taking our time ( I love foreplay), But I don't know, I attempted to do everything that I knew was right, and the ball is in her court now, if she doesn't contact me anymore, oh well, I really enjoyed the night we had even with the awkwardness. So I'll have to approach a shit ton of more girls than usual
******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
I'm thinking about buying thinner condoms and masturbating with condoms to psychologically ease myself into the idea that they're harmless and fun things. And when things take an unexpected turn, not being so apologetic (to be fair I never said sorry or made it too awkward, I just complimented her and kissed her passionately and tried to make her cum with my fingers) when I can't get an immediate hard on. One thing that's weird is that I think if I just relax with the girl next to me, and put some lube on my hand and stroke myself while kissing her or caressing her I'm quite confident I can have much easier time. I don't know why but jerking myself off in front of the girl feels like something I shouldn't be doing, so I've got to get over that. Also, she was very quiet and very passive, didn't really grab me or moaned so at one point I doubted myself whether she was into me at all or if she was feeling like this was a mistake and that she'll never contact me.
So many things are in my head... I often have the mental belief/model I have to recharge long and can't perform really fast, even though I exercise, have no testosterone problems as far as I know, eat healthy and all of that but it was just a stupid belief system in my head, cumming one time and bam, just get complacent and cuddle. So I timed myself after she left and I could cum twice with 23 mins of recharge time, granted without condoms but still that's a perfectly reasonable time frame for me. I've been so mentally hard on my body and probably had insecurities that I didn't really ever focus on or even consider how they developed. And writing all of this feels a tad bit humiliating as well but perhaps those who've struggle with similar issues can chime in.
Thanks for reading!
The next morning I receive a message from her saying "Hi, this is Alice
" so I do the usual opener. The following day I send her a message to get some drinks and I don't hear back from her for 3 or 4 days, at which point I make myself forget about her and focus on other girls, when all of a sudden I get a reply saying she can meet me the day after (Sunday). So I set up a meeting in the city center at 19:00 and she comes on time with great energy. We have a lot of physical contact, she initiates a lot of touch and I reward her for it but in hindsight I was not bold enough, as you'll see. I take her to an Irish pub that's very cosy with leather couches and almost empty so there's no loud drunk people or social pressure, we order soda and the bartender charges me for both so I inadvertently pay for the drinks, which is petty change but I cared more about falling in the "boyfriend" role rather than the money spent. Anyways, it would have been awkward to ask him to give the money back. So we take seats. I deep dive her, ask her about her passions, her plans for college (she's 18) her travels and all of that. We vibe quite nicely, and I tease her and chase frame to keep things fun from time to time. What I did wrong at that date was, not asking her how much time she had, not having clear goals for the date (taking her back for sex/ending it on my terms for informational one) so generally lack of leading. After about 1.5 hours when we're really comfortable with each other, at which point she would have been ready to fuck, she excuses herself to the bathroom and says she needs to catch the last bus back, so I calmly say OK and she gets a tad bit surprised at that. I think that was either because she assumed I would invite her home and I fucked up an escalation window or because she thought I was going to be needy and get sad that she's leaving. I walk her to the bus station 10 minutes away and we continue to have a kick ass conversation while we touch each other a lot, and where I should have perhaps kissed her passionately. When it's almost time for her to board the bus, I do the mistake of planning the second date with a dinner cook off challenge (it involved some callback humor) that we could do together and she says that sounds wonderful, so I give her a kiss at the very end and let her go and which point she looks to me with doe eyes while walking to the bus.
I text her the next day and then tell her to let me know when she's free. Welll....shittt.. I don't get a response for about a week, so I chalk it up to experience and get angry at myself for not moving fast with her and getting her into auto-rejection, while later on I get into auto-rejection. After some days later, my wing and I were out for night game and I see Alice with her same friend from the festival, and I casually walk past them with my buddy as we go into a club. I'm sure they noticed us, but I didn't want to go up to them like a little puppy because at that point she hadn't even responded to my text and I assumed she wasn't interested. They start riding their bikes and go past us, while Alice turns back to look at us just as they're leaving the street, probably to confirm to themselves that it indeed was us that they saw. So my buddy recommends that I block her on WhatsApp and meet more girls. And I say what the hell and do just that, since I was pretty pissed at the moment that she didn't even want to try a second date with me after our great connection.
Now, normally I thought this story would end here with me sitting with my dick in my hand but about a week later in school I get a text message, rather than a whatsapp message from Alice, saying "Hey Alchemist, couldn't contact you in WhatsApp, is everything alright?". So I'm pretty surprised at that. I tell her the next day "Hey Alice, didn't hear anything back from you, so I assumed you flew away into the sunset heading for Spain. How are things going with you?" (callback humor). And then later on she texts me, "I would have taken you with me
", so I say "If the plane had a private chamber for us, I wouldn't mind " and I proceed to set up a date with her for that Saturday. She says it's perfect and sends me a message on that morning that she'll be there and about 6 hours before the date she tells me she can't come because she forgot her sister's birthday, and that she's really sorry. About 45 minutes before the date I casually reply "It's okay, don't sweat it. Can happen to anyone". That night she says, "I'm really sorry, can you meet next week?", I don't reply until the next day at which I say "I've got a pretty busy week, tell me which evenings you're free and we'll set something up " So, a day later (she's playing the slow texting game) she says she's free on Friday and Saturday, to which I say Friday 19:00 is perfect for me and she agrees to come to my place for dinner. She tells me she can't eat gluten or anything with lactose so I change my plans and make a huge bowl of fresh salad, and an hour before the date she asks whether she should bring something, so I tell her "Bring something to drink if you'd like". Where I don't specify alcohol, because I don't want girls to feel like I want them under cloudy judgment or something. Now that I think about it, every girl that I invited home has brought an alcoholic drink themselves, so I think this process is perfect. And she comes about half an hour late because she couldn't find my place and I pick her up from the street and lead her to my place.
I had promised my friend I'd pay him 50 euros for every girl that I didn't kiss within 10 minutes back at my place, so after I show her my small bachelor pad and my balcony I lead her to the kitchen and feed her some of the salad and ask her how it tastes, when she replied I grabbed her head and gave her a nice kiss, looked off to the side, contemplating for a second and said "I agree it tastes nice". Then I gave her a sly smile. (Yes, I planned long and hard about that kissing tactic...
We set up the table in the balcony, had our meal with our wine as we talked. I chase framed, got physical on the edge of the rails, then told her that I found a secret entrance to the roof of our building that was used for maintenance. She was extremely interested. When we finished our meals I lead her up stairs and on to the roof where I held her hand and we had an awesome view of the city as the sun was setting, we made out for 10 minutes and talked a bit. When we were staring at each other, she gave me a compliment out of nowhere "You know, your eyes are so beautiful" , so I kissed her hard and told her her lips are almost as sweet as the wine we were drinking, to which she blushed and laughed. When the sun went down and the breeze picked up, I lead her downstairs back to my room. We each went to the restroom, but I could feel she was squirming to kiss me more (by the way, first time I kissed her, I pulled away first, gave her a powerful look and continued kissing her). I started playing Melody Gardot (check that shit out) and by the time I was back from the restroom she was on my bed with the bedroom eyes, so I sat next to her with my hand on her thighs. After some moments, I moved her chin to my face and started to make out again. I was grabbing her everywhere and turning up the heat. I pulled her dress away, made her sit on my lap, took of her bra, holy fucking shit she had amazing breasts. It really wasn't obvious from the things she wore but Christ almighty they were my favorite size, shape and form. I go crazy at that point and start sucking on her nipples and then throw her at my bed while I take my clothes off, I then take her leggings and panties off, and mmm that's what I'd been working for for months. I've got a big chubby at this point but at the very far corners of my mind I'm thinking "If I don't get hard and give her an amazing time this will all turn to shit". I take out the condom and put it on my 3/4 erect dick and have a bit trouble getting it in her, so at that point I get a bit more nervous. Here's detailed why:- I recently got out of a long term relationship where I'd always go in raw with my ex.
- My ex had tried to contact me 2 days before.
- I had the anxiety problems with different girls when I was fucking them for the first time, and I would lose the erection. Meanwhile I could get distracted while jerking off and look at different types of petrochemicals on Wikipedia and their properties while slowly stroking myself and keep an erection indefinitely...
Anyways, I finally get hard enough and start fucking her and it feels fucking AMAZING, her breasts bouncing around her lips and her hair. God damn I'm grabbing her ass and it feels so big but the FUCKING condom feels like it's strangling my dick and it's like an old fashioned shower head where it's either freezing cold or the depths of hell hot, and I feel like I'm either losing my erection or almost about to cum. I keep kissing her everywhere and telling her how amazing her sexy she is but after about 10 minutes doing the adapted missionary in not a good way, I cool myself down and start fingering her. I focus on her g-spot and she starts breathing heavy almost to the point of coming but I think that either I wasn't doing it right or she was feeling nervous or a mixture of the two and she would tell me "It's alright". Maybe I should have told her to relax or asked her if she ever squirted before, I mean when I made other girls squirt from G-spot, it made me feel like a pimp and I'd love to do it again but I've got so much to learn and so much was in my head at the time. After about two times bringing her very close to cumming or actually cumming? (she was contracting in her pussy and trembling a bit but she didn't pull my hand away due to supersensitivity following an orgasm or make any noises) in fact she was very quiet throughout the whole sex, which made me feel a bit self conscious, as if my dick didn't fill her up enough to make her feel something, coupled with the fact that I was in my head and erections started dying off randomly. I'd tell her, "I know we talked about spirituality and living in the present moment, but right now I'm really in my head and have trouble focusing and enjoying you" to which she just giggled and said it was just fine and we would kiss again. I dunno guys, I kinda felt like the dominant guy that she was attracted to was watered down in the sex and I'm afraid of this happening to any new girl that I have sex with.
So after 20 minutes, she said she'd like to dress and leave, and I was feeling shitty because I hadn't given her mind blowing sex and couldn't fully enjoy myself as well. I told her, you can leave in 15 minutes, to which she said "Okay, just for you" while giggling and I gave her a look up and down her body and said "Well, you're not giving me much choice, I've got to do this" while I was caressing her body and we were kissing again.
I'm not sure how much you guys compliment girls during sex. I mean this girl was definitely not inexperienced but she's 18 so she can't have had too many guys before me, I could feel at some points she felt a bit self conscious and tried to place her hands in some parts of her body in reflex and stuff. Sometimes I think I go too beta mode and flatter the shit out of girls and how sexy they are as I'm in bed. In one of the GC articles it says that you shouldn't act differently after sex from how you were before, but I haven't got the calibration down. And this condom/performance anxiety combo prevents me from dominating girls with complete confidence and owning the situation before and after sex.
So there it was, she got dressed up, got all of her things. Thanked me for the night and dinner, made a remark about one of the bands she recommended me to listen and as she was about to leave I commanded her with my body language and gave her a couple more deep kisses before she left.
I sent her a message saying "Morning Alice, had a great time last night
" Honestly since the anxiety of first time is gone now, I know I could make her have an awesome time in bed as we'd both be comfortable and enjoying each other while taking our time ( I love foreplay), But I don't know, I attempted to do everything that I knew was right, and the ball is in her court now, if she doesn't contact me anymore, oh well, I really enjoyed the night we had even with the awkwardness. So I'll have to approach a shit ton of more girls than usual ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
I'm thinking about buying thinner condoms and masturbating with condoms to psychologically ease myself into the idea that they're harmless and fun things. And when things take an unexpected turn, not being so apologetic (to be fair I never said sorry or made it too awkward, I just complimented her and kissed her passionately and tried to make her cum with my fingers) when I can't get an immediate hard on. One thing that's weird is that I think if I just relax with the girl next to me, and put some lube on my hand and stroke myself while kissing her or caressing her I'm quite confident I can have much easier time. I don't know why but jerking myself off in front of the girl feels like something I shouldn't be doing, so I've got to get over that. Also, she was very quiet and very passive, didn't really grab me or moaned so at one point I doubted myself whether she was into me at all or if she was feeling like this was a mistake and that she'll never contact me.
So many things are in my head... I often have the mental belief/model I have to recharge long and can't perform really fast, even though I exercise, have no testosterone problems as far as I know, eat healthy and all of that but it was just a stupid belief system in my head, cumming one time and bam, just get complacent and cuddle. So I timed myself after she left and I could cum twice with 23 mins of recharge time, granted without condoms but still that's a perfectly reasonable time frame for me. I've been so mentally hard on my body and probably had insecurities that I didn't really ever focus on or even consider how they developed. And writing all of this feels a tad bit humiliating as well but perhaps those who've struggle with similar issues can chime in.
Thanks for reading!
