Beckoning

[Marty]

So I am starting to catch some women making eye contact from afar (can only be a good thing), and clearly they are expecting me to put in all the effort and do the chasing, but I want to try a more "effortless" approach, namely the "Beckoning" gesture as recommended by Chase in one article as well as by Estate in a recent post. Thing is, I don't want to do it across a bar or dance floor, but in day game. Say, down a supermarket aisle.

I will report back as and when I get results. In the meantime, does anyone have any suggestions as to the most manly, powerful way to beckon? I guess slow and poised. Palm down, or palm up? Fingers pressed together, I suppose, not splayed? I'd imagine the most important thing is that the gesture not be misunderstood.

If she approaches then it's easy from there on... "I saw you catch my eye just now. I wanted to introduce myself..." and off you go! Can't wait to get going

 

[mkivtt]

Hmm, I am jealous. I'm in good shape and dress well, but women never flirt with me or give me clear IOI eye contact out of the blue. Guess you are more blessed with your looks

Theoretically, if I were in that position of luxury, I think I would try to use my head instead of a hand. It's infinitely more manly to look at her sideways, lift the corner of your mouth facing her in a tiny, seductive smile, then lift the eyebrow facing her, and slowly tipping your head just an inch or so in the opposite direction. You're not beckoning her like a dog or a child, heck you aren't even lifting your hands. You're too smooth for that. You're in total control and just beckon her using charisma and nothing else.

Good luck.

 

[Marty]

Hey mkivtt,

Great idea about remaining cool and effortless with minimum motion. I'll try it. At worst, if it doesn't quite come off right, they might just walk over to ask what the hell that funny gesture was all about!!

Don't know about looks, moderate I would say; I got none of this before, just going through this process has done wonders for my social confidence though, and/or I am more aware and perceptive. I am certainly acutely conscious of missed opportunities, compared with the past.

 

[Estate]

Good man Marty!

I've never tried it by day.

At night if I catch eye contact then I extend my arm out straight, palm up and just give a quick flick of my hand to "beckon" her. It works great but I tend to use it when it's pretty obvious the girl has already noticed me. If I did this completely cold then chances are she won't see it.

I'm not sure what to say about daygame. I'd feel you'd have to be facing her and within a few feet and make it more casual. Like, don't do the whole extended arm thing but more like a lowered bended arm and move your arm and ask her to come here for a second. I'm not sure though as I haven't done it. I feel it's a strong way to open but only if you KNOW the girl has noticed you.

 

[Marty]

Oh boy, Estate, I just tried the extended arm thing at home by myself, you're right, you feel powerful just doing it.

I get the message about being certain she noticed you. It may be some time before I get the next opportunity, but I certainly want to put this to the test.

I got into light social conversation with a girl at supermarket checkout today, included a compliment, but didn't go for an introduction as I was conscious of her reputation within earshot of others... guess I'm maybe a bit too over-concerned with that. Never mind. I realized afterward that a smart thing to do would have been to ask her to wait while I was paying, thus generating compliance... there was obvious interest: eye-contact, smiles, etc. Then walk her to her car and introduce myself at that point. Too late, but you learn. Anyway, that's what got me thinking about the whole "commanding women" thing... especially if they're in an inconvenient location, within earshot of others, get them to come to you assuming they've noticed you. Gotta try it.

 

[Estate]

I'll just add one final point...

When I do this, I do it in a slightly playful way, I tend to lower my head a little, raise my eyebrows and give a little smile.
I feel you don't want to be over serious or tense. The reason being that, while she'll see the confidence when you do something like this so you don't need to actually be forceful in any way or it could seem creepy, it should be almost subconscious, you don't actually want to be stiff and serious like an army seargent or something, it should be a playful "Hey, come over here!" sort of motion.

That's my take on it anyway.

 

[NarrowJ]

Fellas,

You can do this verbally too, so long as you know an initial "Hey there!" will get her attention. See here:

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=2606

Notice the "when you're done there", as it shows social awareness/consideration that she's doing something else at the moment. Beckoning, whether verbal or non-verbal nets you some strong investment from a girl right off the bat. You risk looking bad if it doesn't go well, but then again I am past the point of worrying about that in a place where nobody even knows who I am


Cheers,
NJ

 

[Richard]

NJ, I absolutely loved that post, that was the girl who offered the "5 date rule" right?
-I'm a little jealous because I have yet to get an opportunity to use something like this, it's so fucking hard to find girls who are around my age group to approach it really sucks =/

Also, at MK,
I'm going to awesome that despite your superb outfit, you're lacking in some fundamentals as far as walking, if this is true, go out and look at people for a day, notice how energy levels, spontaneous-ness, and overall demeanor change with posture. You should see that a few people with good posture will strike you more than people with bad posture. Remember that, while clothes are a nice catalyst, they are nothing without good fundamentals to lie on

 

[Marty]

Tremendous link NarrowJ, I hadn't seen that post before. Remarkably smooth, and terrifically funny! "Sexual vibe on setting 11"... LMAO

You must have some rocking fundamentals to have obtained that shy smile and downward look before saying a word and from 15 feet away. Holy cow! An inspiration to us!

I totally agree that these girls are not dumb, with all the attention they get, they must have a solid picture of what many men are about. Incredible that she actually verbalized your avoidance of the "jerk" and "nice guy" extremes, almost exactly as laid down by Chase in The Genuine Man: https://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-better-jerk

I love the "when you're done there": by the same token, it's an unfearing command but shows social aptitude and consideration for her own concerns. There's just so much to learn from this post alone.

Mkivtt: for what it's worth, I agree with Zphix here; I never got any noticeable attention before, but the change in attitude engendered by this site (as well as heightened awareness perhaps), expressed through improved body language presumably, has definitely changed that for the better. I was shocked when a clothing store fitting room assistant remarked: "Well, aren't you cute?" totally unsolicited when I was in vacation this summer... that sort of stuff just never used to happen to me. That was right after doing two cold approaches, further confirmation of what I posted about here: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=2680 I find that I get the most unexpected eye contact when I am half-smiling to myself about something funny, or daydreaming as to what I might say to a girl I like... It's like they can read the expression you are wearing even if it's not directed at them. So maybe you should think confident, even cocky thoughts and improve consciousness of your own posture, to develop that air of relaxed command and assuredness that Zphix is talking about.

 

[Estate]

Marty,
Its totally true about the attitude drawing attention. It's not like women stare at me on the street but when you are AWARE of things around you, you begin to notice the attention.

Funny because Chase seems to advocate NOT making eye contact with girls before approaches. I can see the value in that too since when you are visibly scanning the room or girls walking towards you on the street they NEVER look at you. But they notice you, you're just being too obvious about it.

Part of my change is being in my own world a bit. And just in my peripheral vision I can see the attention I get.
Some silly examples... I was just walking through Harvard Square a few weeks ago. I was minding my own business looking towards the people coming in and out of the subway stop when a girl came around the corner out of the corner of my eye. I felt like she was looking my way and sure enough and she kept walking she pretty much kicked over a homeless guys change cup and nearly went flailing across the floor. I had to hold back my laughs, she was looking right at me and didn't even see what was on the ground infront of her.

My apartment is also in a busy area of town and there is a bar right downstairs. Always a lot of foot traffic. I noticed a few times now... even last night as I came back from a run. No intention of approaching anyone as I was all hot and sweat but I was bouncing along the pavement as I felt good... as I turned into my apartment building there is a 2nd door just inside the 1st where I could see the reflection of anyone passing behind. As I did, a really nice girl literally STARED at me as she went by, don't think she realized I saw her reflection doing it. It's happened several other times too.... but if I was LOOKING for that eye contact they usually keep their head down and keep going.

I think girls are really good with peripherals. They will only noticeably look if they don't think they are being caught.

 

[Marty]

Estate,

I'm so glad to get confirmation from you if what I'm observing... The scientific logic makes sense when you read about it, but actually experiencing it is quite surreal, when you're not accustomed to it, so it's nice to know it isn't a figment of my imagination.

Women really slaughter you if you give them chasey, needy eye contact. Back when I lived in Eastern Europe I used to supplicate like crazy, placing beautiful women somewhere between princesses and goddesses. Although I shudder to think of it, when I passed a girl in the street I used to look her shyly in the eye and give a pathetic, simpering smile. Needless to say this was a total turn-off and I would get upset as they looked away in exasperation. (Even I could read that!)

By contrast, while I am about a thousand miles southwest of you, I had a very similar experience to yours yesterday evening. You know how there was discussion here a while ago about what to do if you get a "look" but don't plan to approach? The consensus was to look away and smile to yourself. Well, I was also running (shirtless) in the park and I caught not one but two "looks" from opposite directions at the same instant: women either side of me on the path, both very nubile and desirable. Fact is, I didn't need the forum advice, noticing that I simply couldn't help smiling to myself... it's not often I get that type of validation.

I also switched recently from glasses to contacts... makes a world of difference to peripheral vision, and thus awareness and social confidence. It's like being in a different world.